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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How so you know for sure that night feeds should stop?

25 replies

laughingeyes2013 · 16/12/2013 12:46

Everyone is telling me my 6 month old (4 months and 3 weeks corrected age) should not be needing night feeds now.

Until a few weeks ago he was having 1.5-2 hourly feeds day and night. After all these months I'm really starting to feel it!

Now things have improved to the point that I wake at roughly every 3 hours.

6:30pm - night feed followed by bedtime routine and asleep by 7pm.

10pm - dream feed before I go to bed. Usually finishes about 10:45pm

1:30am - cries for feed. Takes a good amount. Feed usually ends around 2:15am.

4:30- cries for feed. Takes a good amount again. Feed ends about 5:15am

6:30-7am - cries for feed. Sometimes starts the day, other times will sleep for about 30 mins.

It's all approximate as it varies give or take an hour or two. But because he feasts on each feed I am really not sure if he's ready. I'd love him to be as I am exhausted permanently, but am just not sure.

He's only just stopped peeing so much overnight which in my past experience is a sign of becoming ready to sleep longer in the night. Am still waiting though!

Every seems so sure he doesn't need these feeds. Is everyone really sure about that with their babies and how do you know?

OP posts:

GinGinGin · 16/12/2013 12:54

Oh my goodness of course he still needs night feeds - he's only 6 months! I wouldn't think about night weaning until he's nearly 1.

SaidTheSloth · 16/12/2013 13:00

I stopped feeding DD overnight (it was generally once) when she stopped being hungry for the first morning feed. She was 10 months old.

lilyaldrin · 16/12/2013 13:05

6 months seems really early to need no night feeds. Can you sleep through the feeds a little bit, or at least the 4.30am one?

At that kind of age I think DS had a feed at bedtime, 11pm, 3am and 7am. I managed to move the 3am one towards 5am and would just take him into bed with me at that point and feed/sleep between 5am and 7am. Dropped the 11pm one by moving it earlier and earlier at about 9 months.

He was eating 3 big meals in the day at that point, plus probably having 3 hourly day feeds and the big 5-7am feed.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 16/12/2013 13:09

Sounds about right to me, especially with him being early. I found my prem boys needed feeding more regularly in the night and for longer than the 2 who were born at term.

Although they all fed in the night at some point or another until around 1

BoysRule · 16/12/2013 13:09

There is a lot of advice that says babies don't physically need feeding in the night after 6 months (they should be getting enough milk in the day to go from a dream feed at 10.30pm to around 6am).

It sounds like your dc is feeding a lot in the night but you may need to work to the corrected age, in which case that is much more normal.

Are you bf or ff? I found that when my DS was feeding that much my milk was very poor as I was exhausted and there wasn't enough time between feeds to get a good supply in again.

Could you make the dream feed half an hour later (I know you want to go to bed though!) and try to get rid of the 1.30am feed?

purplebaubles · 16/12/2013 13:09

Wow really? I'm surprised the other way.

DD stopped night feeding at 8 weeks, once she was sleeping 11.30-7. I wouldn't have dreamt of waking her up to feed her!

At 16 weeks we were advised told by the HV to stop the 11pm dream feed (which we did wake her for after putting her down at 7pm)

If i'd have still be night feeding at 6 months, I'd have been a walking zombie!

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 16/12/2013 13:24

They're all different, you know :)

DS1 had a night feed most nights at 6mo; by 9mo he was sleeping through some nights, but not others.

DS2, otoh, still often has a dream feed in the middle of the night somewhere at 14mo, but we co-sleep still (never managed to get this one into the cot for a whole night) so it's just there, and I guess he knows it.

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 16/12/2013 17:39

I night weaned ds1 at 11m, I think at 10m he really still needed it. Ds2 however I think will stop earlier as he doesn't seem to need it as much. He's 7m now and sometimes doesn't have a night feed.

Twinnies10 · 16/12/2013 18:10

Purple baubles I assume you ff your baba?
My ds is now nearly 5 months and we still feed about every 2 hours and am totally exhausted so I completely get it, no advice at all I'm afraid but
If you do find a solution please share

Twinnies10 · 16/12/2013 18:10

squidkid · 16/12/2013 18:28

I just night weaned DD at 14 months (bf)
I wouldn't have tried except work was getting too hard

meerschweinchen · 16/12/2013 20:12

I didn't night wean my son until 16 months. Think I should have done it a bit sooner, but can't imagine doing it a 6 months, although I do know some babies who seem to drop night feeds really early. I think they are just all different, and I'd go by your instincts. Sounds to me like he does still need it. Poor you though, you must be shattered!

cantthinkofagoodone · 16/12/2013 20:16

Most docs would agree 9 months is an appropriate age for most weaned babies to no longer need night feeds. Itthink you can encourage more calories to be taken in the day and look to reduce night feeds then.

I night weaned at 7 months. It was easy as he was ready and eating very well.

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 16/12/2013 20:25

I didn't stop night feeds anywhere near 6 months. This theory is (IMO) based on a notion that "some babies can/do sleep through at six months, therefore all babies should be able to even if that requires some cajoling"

Which I think is absolute nonsense. Firstly, all babies are not the same. Secondly, it's more likely that a baby will sleep longer when they are FF - yep, I know, studies, etc, but the fact is it's harder to digest so they do tend to go longer between feeds. Although some BF babies naturally sleep through at 6 months - they are a rare breed!

And then there's the point that development isn't like building a house, they don't get one layer and then build on that, with things like sleep and feeding especially, it's NORMAL for them to go back and forth a bit and get into a pattern temporarily or have their sleep disrupted by something or other.

You will know when they no longer need night feeds, because they will stop asking for them. Or, you will think "This is getting a bit of a pain" and try to stop, and it will be fairly easy. If it's requiring some kind of battle of wills, then they're not ready. If trying to cut out night feeds is causing problems with their sleep in general, they're not ready.

It's not all bad, though - night feeds don't have to equal horrendous sleep deprivation and pulling your hair out, it's just about how you manage them - you need to minimise the disruption to your own sleep and if possible catch up at other times. I had a bedside cot which was a godsend, for example.

rachyconks · 16/12/2013 20:29

Just wanted to add that my DD stopped having a night feed just last week and she's just turned 1. She just started sleeping through naturally. I really had wanted to stop the night feeds around 6 mths, and tried. It was a very stressful time and things got a lot better once I accepted that it wasn't going to happen for a while. She was having a bottle at bedtime, one around 11-12 and one at 4ish. She gradually dropped the 11-12 one, then the 4am one went last week.

catellington · 16/12/2013 20:36

My dd feeds in the night at 10 months, I sleep through mostly so I not sure how many feeds but it is no problem and we have no inkling of stopping any time soon

Sunflower1985 · 16/12/2013 20:48

Just keep repeating to yourself that all babies are different whenever people say these kinds of things. Then follow your instincts about what your baby needs.

minipie · 16/12/2013 21:11

Your DS is really more like 4 months 3 weeks in most ways. night feeds are totally normal at that age. they're normal at 6 months too but I would think it's very very rare for a 4.5 month baby to have no night feeds.

My DD was 6 weeks prem so similar to your DS. at 6 months actual/4.5 months corrected she was still having at least two feeds during the night, and at 7.5 months actual/6 months corrected she was still having at least one.

We stopped night feeds at about 8 months actual/6.5 months corrected. By this point she was on 3 meals a day (weaned since 6 months actual/4.5 months corrected as per medical advice for prems) and was eating a LOT of solids. I was sure her night feed was just habit so stopped feeding her at night, there were a couple of nights of protest (I have a different view on CC from most mn parents...) but then she slept through.

However, she did have a growth spurt a few months later and needed a night feed again. you have to judge by your own baby really....

Original poster

laughingeyes2013 · 16/12/2013 21:55

Thanks everyone.

In one way I half hoped you'd all say "oh yeah, all 6 month olds stop night feeds" because I'd have to give up this irrational reluctance to make my life liveable more bearable!

But on the other hand I'm actually relieved that my unease is probably actually good mothering instincts, and you've all helped make me feel more able to trust that.

I was thinking earlier today (as I was staggering around in a zombie like stupor trying to do some Christmas shopping) that there have been times in the night I've detected he's cold and he warms up beautifully after his feed. It made me think those feeds would potentially have been essential to his life, and I was glad to be able to give them, and how that these overnight feeds may also be more important than they feel.

OP posts:

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 17/12/2013 08:43

Glad we're reassuring you to trust yourself, it's a far better thing to do than listen to/fret about generic advice that just may not apply to your baby

catellington · 18/12/2013 18:58

Op , not sure if it's an option for you but cosleeping saved my life, wish I'd started sooner rather than battle through exhaustion from 6m to 8m ( when dd went temporarily into own room )

Original poster

laughingeyes2013 · 18/12/2013 21:09

I am too scared to co-sleep because he was premature which apparently increases SIDS risk.

Also, I'm in a single bed in the nursery (husband values sleep too much I'm afraid) and even if I were in my normal bed its a memory foam mattress which I believe isn't safe.

OP posts:

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 18/12/2013 21:26

I think memory foam is OK but what about a bedside cot - you can convert most cots, you just have to check it's sturdy with only 3 sides on. If not the cheap ikea cots convert easily. It means you can put baby into their own space so the risk is much lower.

Husband can have the single bed if he likes his silence so much! :)

I think you are so right, by the way - the night feeds are FAR more important than we realise.

minipie · 18/12/2013 22:41

It doesn't have to be all or nothing wrt night feeds. You could try cutting out one feed - I'd start by dropping the dream feed, and see what happens. my guess is that he'd drop down to two night feeds, probably midnight and 4am or thereabouts, which means at least you could get an early night and sleep till midnight...

WoodBurnerBabe · 18/12/2013 22:50

I've just night weaned DD2 and she's nearly 13 months. Work was getting too hard, and with some encouragement from here, we went for it. It was really easy, I guess because she was ready...

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