knackered, p***ed off & feel like giving up..........can anyone help?!

[bodenbetty]

Am really struggling with breastfeeding at night at the moment. DD latches on fine as far as I can tell & seesm to feed well - but teh minute i put her down she is so uncomgfortable. her legs & arms go like littel pistons, het tummy is all hard. last night she fed for anhour (fine) tehn it took 2 hours to settel her back down, tehn she was up agin anhour later wanting another feed. I've started infacol but only for a day so far & no joy with that as yet. I've trieed winding her in all sorts of positions but with very littel success in getting any burps or farts out. It's only at night we seem to hvae this problem she goes down like a dream in teh day.
I 'm begiining to wonder if moving to formula wold hlep at all or wouldit juts amked things worse? I wanted to feed her for at least 3 months but teh thought of another 3 months of this is driving me to despair. have another DS so day time naps not anoption!

How old is your DD?

Is co-sleeping an option? Do you feed in a different position at night and in the day? Can you stop half-way through the feed for burping?

They do struggle with wind. From what I know, formula wouldn't be any better, and might be worse.

We had the same trouble with DD and did try giving her 1 bottle of formula in the evening but she was far worse so we stopped and she is exclusively bfed now. She has got better as the weeks have passed but is still bad at night sometimes. Usually 1 double dose of infacol sorts her out. Infacol works for DD but have heard other people on here saying it doesn't work for them - maybe you should try one of the other colic meds.
Hope you find something that works for you and well done for persevering with the bfeeding - it is v. difficult and times and frustrating but it is worth it

Oh and the suggestion about co-sleeping is a good one too - that also worked well for us. She seemed to feed better lying down and we both fell asleep like that on difficult nights!

dd3 was like this - still is very occasionally

I found that the unsettled period graducally moved back until she was like it for two hours from 7-9 in the evening

had a couple of nightmarish nights and started a thread, bought colief and infacol but neither made a difference

have realised now that she does it when overtired - she tries to suck to settle herself then the milk comes and she gets cross! Things have improved tenfold now that she sucks her hand to settle herself (she is 11 weeks). I spent a few weeks walking her around patting her bottom until she went to sleep then she would sleep really well - could you try that? If it is any consolation I was also a bit worried that doing that would mean she would NEVER settle herself blah di blah but I neednt have worried as it was a phase and has now passed

couldn't cope with co-sleeping - woudl rather about rolling onher or something. feel abit reassured that thistime might gradully move itself forwards toa more reasonable hour - I think it sthe timing that makes me feel so awful _ i could cope with 2 hours unsetteldness in teh evening - but midle of teh night is a real killer. yo're all right that formula wouldn't help - guess i'm just looking for easy answers but need to repaet to myself 'it's just a phase' albeit through gritted teeeth"!

Can't really give much info without knowing how old your baby is, betty, but from what you say she is fairly new, and this is normal behaviour for new babies just getting used to the world....why wouldn't she want to be close to you when she has been that way until very recently?? Hard tummy means nothing - tummies do go hard, esp if the baby is crying - and I always tak a lot of convincing that it is worth messing on with different ways to wind a baby. Nothing in your post makes me think formula would help - why would it? Could make things worse, even.

i found good old fashioned (and cheap) gripe water did the trick where infacol didn't. it worked right away too.

co sleeping wasn't for me either but over time, i developed the confidence little by little. it is not an all or nothing option.

i also tried dd with a bottle of formula a day and that was what was making her windy and sicky.

another thing i did on those difficult nights was to swaddle her tightly and let her fall asleep on her side. (it worked for her overtiredness but not mine!)

(putting dd3 on her tummy to sleep worked like magic although not recommended by HVs)

we had the same thing with Joey when he was NB, and I posted on here as well, we tried colief and infacol, the colief worked wonders the infacol worked once he was about 6 weeks. fortunbatly he outgre the stage at about 10/11 weeks ish somehting like that and now brings up wind on his own.

like enid sometimes he was using my boob like a dummy, we tried giving him a little of my leaked BM after a feed and he settled lovely - it made me think perhaps he was sucking in a differnt way or something (not sure how it works).

as for formula - he's had 2 bottles of formula in his life, and tbh he didn't bring the wind up anywhere near as good as he does with teh EBM althou that well could just be his body's got used to the BM and knows what it needs to do iycwim.

She's about a fortnight old, isn't she, BB?

This is totally normal behaviour for such a little one - are you still trying to structure her feeds?

Eeeek....just 2 weeks old??! Awwww.....just feed her and cuddle her and keep her close, and don't spend 2 hours 'settling' her if the feediing/cuddling/keeping close keeps her happy. The minute you put her down, you say, is when she shows she is uncomfortable; it is the minute she realises she is not in her favourite place in the world.....I bet it's not wind.

She may feed and settle fine in the day. But at 2 weeks she can be cut some slack and not be expected to do it all the time

I am not usually this directive, but you are, you say, being 'driven to despair'......the reason for this (being directive again!) is because your expectations are w.....a....y too high!

Don't despair. Chill

ahven't been trying to structure her feeds at all - I know I've posted elsewhere about routines but that was out on interest with 1 eye to teh future - defintiley not what I'm doing now. Am trying teh 'chill' option (as much as poss in this heat) but she can't sleep on me all night
thanks for al teh good advice xx

bodenbetty i think its hard esp when u have another child and the stress of minding them hits u as well as baby needing attention.

forget the laundry, cleaning, whatever and let it go over your head for the next while.
its v hard but it will settle down, u know that in your heart

as the others said just nurse her, shes cosy and happy, prop yourself with pillows when night feeding her so u dont have that fear

is ds past a day nap, if he isnt then, just lie with her and rest for 40 winks.
you will make the 12 wks breastfeeding her and u know its easy after that

would a grandparent/ firend take your ds for a wee walk for u to get a bit of respite, and if he goes to bed , then hope in to and let dh mind babe for awhile.

hth