Struggling

[gubbinsy]

Am breastfeeding DS now 4 weeks old. He's my first and is gaining wright well - has been from start but his latch has never been great. He had a tongue that was snipped when he was 10 dats old but tbh it almost seems like it's got worse since then. He comes on and off loads, has a really shallow latch so often I am breaking him off and relatching 5 or 6 times or he just feeds from my nipple which is now really sore - left worse than right. Seen the NCT counsellor and going to bf cafe - cafe helped and going back. Woman there identified thrush which is being treated although I only have cream which is hard to know when to apply - sometimes only an hour between feeds and can't be on when he feeds.

Met up with some of NCT group yesterday and came home and cried that they had been feeding in public. I have tried twice and second time he wouldn't latch, sprayed milk everywhere and screamed. It can sometimes tak me 15 mins to get him on and a chunk of that is trying to get him to open his mouth wide enough. This all means I'm feeling a bit trapped and increasingly isolated. I know the other women have also struggled and some still are but just felt crap.

I feel like all the help seems to think it's ok - they say his positioning is fine and he has nice round cheeks and I just need nipples to toughen up and basically persevere. I get that but struggling a bit now. I don't want to stop and ff - still feel that but just feel lacking in real support - DP very supportive and does keep saying call someone but I feel like I feel ok for about a day after then it's just back to same old latching problems.

Sorry, this is really long - sleep deprived! Wondered about starting to express but the idea of essentially spending more time feeding feels a bit much plus I'm not even sure how. Don't have any bottles either although have a pump my cousin gave me.

Again, sorry for length if you've got this far. All advice appreciated.

Hugs. I felt very similar to you at the same point. It was hell at the time but the perseverance was worth it. You're doing all the right things, keep going to the breast feeding drop in and getting support, I recommend La Leche League too if there's a group in your area (try googling them). For us a couple of things helped - trying different positions (dd loved lying kind of vertically on my chest sometimes) and, well, just time. As she got bigger her latch gradually improved, she fed for less hours a day and the sore nipples healed. It took a long time - about 10 weeks to be completely pain free, trying lots of different advice and support - but we got there in the end and I breastfed dd for over 2 years. Something else that helped when the soreness was unbearable and she just wanted to feed and feed was putting her in a sling and going out for a walk to give my boobs a break - she'd have a little sleep and I'd get some fresh air and a rest from the pain.

Oh poor you. It does get easier I promise. I found it really hard.

Lansinoh cream. You need this for your nipples! It's the only thing that kept me going and I wouldn't of carried on without this. No other nipple cream matches up. You don't need to take it off to feed. Apply after every feed until you are healed and less sore. It will help so much.

I have no experience with beast feeding thrush but I know that if I've had thrush I need to stop eating sugar to help get rid.

Can you afford a lactation consultant? (about £100 a visit)

Or find a BF counsellor who really knows their stuff about tongue ties.

Because I had similar - and despite their best intentions - all of the bf counsellors I saw did not have a clue about tongue tie and kept saying things about positioning etc. which left me feeling crap and blaming myself.

Your baby's tie could well have grown back. Another possibility is that there's also a lip tie as well which stops the top lip from "flanging" properly and the latch is shallow.

Can you ring whoever snipped the tie? They should be doing follow ups.

Where abouts are you?

Also with thrush both of you need to be treated otherwise you just pass it back and forth. You also need to boil wash your bras and any muslins to kill the fungus.

I think I need shares in Lansinoh as ita the only thing that's stopped my nipples dying completely!
We are both being treated for thrush - he has drops 4 times a day - begins with n. Going to call docs today and see if he can give me tablets rather than cream as think it's deeper than just nipple. Didn't check me when I went, just baby.
No follow up from tongue tie and looks like it's gone - was easy to see. Will ask them to check and cafe as they seem most switched on so far. There isn't a la lechw group here from what I can find - nearest one 20 miles - could take car for day if I get desperate.

Thanks for advice and good to know not just me!

I've heard the gel version of the thrush cream Daktarin is more effective than the drops for baby oral thrush. We had this at 2 weeks. Hit is with everything you've got and if the docs are unsure point them towards the national breastfeeding helpline factsheet. My gp actually looked it up when I was there because he didn't have a clue.

Thanks sunflower. Spoken to dr but she's just advised me to keep on with cream and drops and prescribed hydrocortisone for me to help with soreness. HV advised expressing but with him feeding about every hour to hour and a half I think it might kill me! Will give it another couple of days and speak to counsellor at breastfeeding clinic again on thurs. It may be that it's clearing up but with dodgy latch, I can't tell!

Agree with pp that it's the Daktarin cream and gel you need.
Regarding the attachment, see if you can google exaggerated attachment, it might help get a deeper latch.
Do you think you could have a fast let down? ( you mentioned spraying milk). Perhaps try expressing a little bit of milk off by hand if this is they case.

As a last resort, would a nipple shield help?

Hi gubbinsy sorry to hear you're finding it such hard work. Your story was very familiar - ds had tongue tie cut at 2 weeks and we had thrush at about 4 weeks. I found it very painful and I felt like all my nct friends were finding it much easier than me!

Suddenly at about 6 weeks I got to lunchtime and realised I'd fed him several times and it hadn't hurt at all. I worried about latch and position etc but I think the most important thing was that he just 'got it' and learned to feed rather than just suck as hard as he could!

Does the nhs run drop-ins near you? I found them very good and used the 'extended latch' for a while which helped (don't need to now at 10 weeks).

The first few weeks were so hard but it's starting to pay off now as it's much easier! Hope it gets better for you soon.

Hi op. well done for persevering.

For sore nipples I recommend multi mam compresses. Pricey but reusable - they can live in your bra between feeds.

My ds has tongue-tie. They wouldn't cut it so we ended up using nipple shield. One much longer than my nipple to exaggerate size and hold his tongue down under nipple. They were a pain, but got us there, and the he grew out of them at three months

Best of luck

Firstly YOU'VE BEEN OUT! With a 4 week old baby. You're practically super woman in my eyes. I didn't go anywhere on my own with DD until 8 weeks and was probably still lying on the sofa trying to get to grips with breastfeeding at 4 weeks. I almost caved at 3 weeks and gave her formula so it is still very early days. I didn't have any problems with thrush or tongue tie but it was so goddamn painful anyway, I used to want to throw the baby away every time she went near my boobs. It sounds like you're doing the right thing and seeking support in the right places. All I can say is persevere, it gets better, 7 months in and I'm still going. X

Thanks everyone. It's lovely to hear from people who have been through it and come out the other side. Here's hoping!

Don't cry; I did exactly the same by comparing myself to my NCT group re feeding in public. They could all do it, why couldn't we? I cried buckets. 4 weeks is v young, you're both only just starting. As another poster said, you've done really well just to get out and about. It will get easier in time, your baby will get bigger and stronger and your confidence will grow too. And your nipples will become super tough...mine did!