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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding, nightshifts and working dh's/dp's......

22 replies

YellowFeathers · 18/07/2006 07:24

So how do these 3 work together or don't they?

One of the "Pro's" for breast feeding is that it is less hassle i.e. you can just feed anywhere, anytime.

However,

After bottle feeding my dd, the routine for the nightshifts was to take her out of the bedroom and downstairs into a dimly lit room to change and feed her.
One because the bottles were obviously stored downstairs in the kitchen and secondly it wouldn't disturb whoever was having the night off

Now I'm really going for breastfeeding this next little one, dh won't be able to help out with feeding unless I express and the general opinion I get about that is that it takes time to get used to. He is also working full time now on different shift patterns unlike when we had dd so I'm sure he won't want to be disturbed every night.

So what I want to know is how you do it?
Do you feed whilst still in bed?
What do your dh/dp's think to it?
Do you find it easier this way than getting out of bed and bringing baby back?

OP posts:

Pixiefish · 18/07/2006 07:45

I used to feed dd in bed. never left the bedroom for the night feed. Dd slept in her cot next to the bed. Dh never woke up

Original poster

YellowFeathers · 18/07/2006 08:35

Thanks PF

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 18/07/2006 08:43

I used to just keep the baby in my bed. I would barely wake up when they wanted fed, stick a boob in their mouth and go back to sleep. DH found this much more restful than a baby in another room. If the baby's somewhere else, the baby cries, everyone wakes, I would get out of bed, go feed the baby, and come back. All of which is a lot more disruption than just sticking a boob in a mouth and going back to sleep.

Original poster

YellowFeathers · 18/07/2006 08:48

That does sound more appealing I have to say. Not so sure how comfortable I am with the falling asleep with the baby in the bed though...

OP posts:

munz · 18/07/2006 08:50

we tried several ways, first when joey was NB in with me I tried in bed like the hospital - didn't work out too well. (i'm sure it's my big boobies! ) then still in our room but i'd lift him out go into the spare room and feed in there then return him once fed (shut our door and put the hall light on so the feeding room was still dark) worked quite well except I fully woke up, and didn't go back to sleep so easily, then we tried when DH had a few days off, his feeding EBM in our room and me expressing in the spare room - worked quite well Joey back to sleep quickly. not I get up and go into his room and feexd in there/close our bedroom door. DH can sleep thru anything so he wasn't an issue, althou I like to have a lot of space when i'm feeding and sprawl out everywhere so feeding in bed wasn't as good for me. also tried feeding laying down and that was a non starter for me - again I blame big boobies! lol.

Pixiefish · 18/07/2006 08:59

if you're not happy having the baby in bed with you then have the baby in a cot next to the bed with the side down and then you can sort of slide the baby across and feed and then put him back again. I used to feed sitting up in bed at the beginning and often used to wake up sat up in bed with dd in my arms and put her back in her cot before going back to sleep myself

Enid · 18/07/2006 09:19

dh sleeps in the spare room during this night feeding stage and has never woken up for a baby in his life

I always sleep with them in my bed for the first 6 weeks or so, on my side, baby on a pillow, boob out permanently dd3 is now in her cot in our bedroom so I don't have far to go to get her out when she starts biffing her head against the bars

Original poster

YellowFeathers · 18/07/2006 09:50

Well I'm a bit stuck for the cot idea because the baby will be in a carry cot until its outgrown and then into a cot but it doesn't have a bed level IYSWIM.

Nice to hear some of you just staying in bed though

OP posts:

Bozza · 18/07/2006 09:57

With mine I had the cot parallel to the bed. So there was the bed, then my drawers, then the cot. So I would hop out of bed, get baby, hop back into bed and feed, then pop baby back in cot. I'm sure no more disturbance than hopping out of bed, taking baby downstairs, bringing baby back upstairs, back into cot and then bed.

Bozza · 18/07/2006 09:57

So it was sort of like twin beds in a hotel room IYSWIM - apart from one being a double and one a cot.

dizzybint · 18/07/2006 12:19

dd (8 wks) only wakes once, i hop out of bed, take her out of her cot which is at the foot of our bed, and feed her sat up in our bed with a nursing cushion on my lap. then she goes back in her cot. DH sleeps through it, she only feeds for about 10 minutes.

LaDiDaDi · 18/07/2006 12:31

My dd is in a moses basket by my side of the bed. I tried sitting up in bed to feed her but like pixiefish was finding that I would wake up to find that an hour or so had gone by and I was still sitting up holding dd in my arms. Now I still initially have her in the moses basket but when she cries for a feed then I put her in bed next to me and she latches on and then we both fall asleep. I was worried about her sleeping in bed next to me but I'm actually loads more aware of her than I imagined that I would be but still sleep well. The only time that I don't do this is if I've had any alcohol.

PinkTulips · 18/07/2006 12:51

haul baby into the bed with you, if your still awake when their done you can shove them back in the cot but chances are you'll both have fallen asleep. dh won't even wake i garuantee you!

Tuesdayschild · 18/07/2006 13:10

I agree, having her in bed with me means no crying in the night and works really well for us. DH is still in the spare room though as he's worried about being in the bed with baby.

mawbroon · 18/07/2006 13:19

Spare room for my dh too until ds went into his own room which then stopped becoming the spare room IYSWIM. Then I would start off in my own bed, but go through when ds woke and crawl into the spare bed to feed. I always planned to put him back in his cot and go back to my own bed, but more often than not, ds and I were cuddled in together in the spare bed in the morning.

UniSarah · 18/07/2006 18:23

Our DS is in a normal cot right by the bed with the drop side down. It works like a big moses basket as I can pick him up while sitting in bed. Works fine as tehre is 15-20 cm of cot side to stop him rolling out and down teh gap caused by our pine bed frame and also stops me flipping duvet over him. I sleep better cos i know I can;t squash him.
DH now sleeps with us most nights but for the 1st 6 wks that was rare, mostly he slept in teh spare room, even now ( 4.5 months) he sometimes uses spare room if he wants an undisturbed night OR if hes got to get up super early so he desn;t distrub us. DS tends to have one middle of the night feed, Dh wakes at the beginning but mostly goes back to sleep before the end.
Personaly I didn't see any point in giveing an EBM bottle at night, its simpler for me to do that feed as I can nap during teh day when boy does, DH doesn't have that luxury as hes got to work to feed us all.

Original poster

YellowFeathers · 19/07/2006 07:21

Thanks for all the replies.
I wish now we had bought one of those cot/bed level things last time!
Never mind.

I think like some of you have said, I could hop out of bed, pick baby up, hop back into bed and feed. I'm sure dh won't wake up The thing that probably will disturb is changing the nappy.

I'd just like to make as little disruption as possible (stupid thing to expect with a newborn I know) because like I mentioned dh will be working goodness knows what shifts and he couldn't help me out anyway unless I expressed and dd is having a bad time of atm and if she wakes in the night it can take her hours to get back to sleep, we often hear different versions of Old Mcdonald being screamed in the early hours!

I know this might be for another thread but how tricky is expressing?
Can anyone shed any light?

OP posts:

UniSarah · 19/07/2006 14:10

forgot to say- buy dh some ear plugs. my dhs uses them even in the spare room if DS is kicking off in the middle of the night. HE is allowed this as when I was ill in teh middle of the night ( and he was in spare room) he did hear and came to investigate and took boy away to calm him down while I got on with being sick.

Piffle · 19/07/2006 14:21

I used to feed dd in my bed until she was 6 mths and moved to her room, then I fed her in her room.
I used to flick on a low night light, change her on a cot top changer before or after feed whatever she needed.

the times dp woke up I could count on 3 fingers

Bozza · 19/07/2006 14:25

My DH also wore ear plugs. Don't think they completely block out noise but work reasonably well. Used to change nappy in baby's own room if required which was infrequent.

PinkTulips · 19/07/2006 22:54

Feathers, the first few times trying to express are painful, take forever and you'll only get a few drops but once you (and your boobs) get used to it it's not too bad. i found making sure the breast i was expressing from was full to bursting, and if possible feeding dd from the other side simultaneously helped matters enormously.

as for nappy changing, i had a night light in the bedroom, the changing stuff next to the bed and just changed dd right there and dp never really woke up. he was working nightshifts so the days he was in bed during the day i had to change dd in there too (tiny 1 bed apt, nowhere else to bring her) and it rarely bothered him. men aren't attuned to hear babies crying the way we are!

UniSarah · 20/07/2006 16:32

Thought of something else. I fitted a 15w bulb to my bedside lamp which also has shutters to shape the light out put theatre lantern style, its gives "just" enough light to fed ds by but doesn't spill over to DH. When we are away I take an LED bike front light to do teh same thing.
We do a nappy change at 11pm and thats it next nappy change is at 7.30am ish, but our lad doesn;t pooh at night now. When he was tiny I did few middle of night changes, but at that point his sleep pattern was rubish and dh was in teh spare room every night.

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