ds is 22 months old - can I stop bfing him cold turkey?

[dinny]

is it wise? have tried cutting down and it creeps back up again. I really want to stop now as he is really clingy and think bfing is maiking him worse. he has probably 2 big feeds a day and lots more snacking/comfort feeds. am I mad to just stop and is it unfair on him? just don't think cutting down is working and I am fed up, really

Congratulations on making it to 22mths!! I'm sure that someone with more experience will come along but can you try expressing to relive the engoragment?

my spelling gets worse

Aw, Dinny

Can you try one last time to do morning and bedtime and be really strict about the daytime and nighttime feeds?

But don't wahtever you do feel guilty about stopping or going cold turkey if that's what you decide - you've done utterly brilliantly to bfeed for 22m - you're fantastic!

Sorry we didn't see you on Thursday

thanks, guys, just really feel I want to stop and am finding it so hard as whenever I cut down, ds is poorly or something happens and it increases again.

has anyone stopped cold turkey? don't really know what to do. Hunker, if I just did am and night, what do I do to get him back to sleep in the night (he's up 2-3 times, feeding)

what time did you come in on Thurs??? was there but not till 4! xxx

What I did re night feeds was let DH settle DS1.

I have no idea what I'll do this time round though - seems different with DS2 somehow.

Are you co-sleeping? Perhaps keep the night feeds, morning one and bedtime if you don't mind your sleep being broken (that's a daft thing to say - who likes having broken sleep?!) - but stop the daytime ones.

It's hard to know what to do for the best. Perhaps try to have a day away from him at the weekend, if you can? Take DD out, or leave them both with DH and have a day completely to yourself - would that be possible?

Came up about 12.30 - saw CW and she said you were in later so I'd miss you

I thought you meant you were feeding him scraps of cold mashed up turkey

I was about to storm in and JUDGE you

I did it cold turkey around 22 months. Told her that mummy's milk had all gone. She took about 3 days then never mentioned it again. Really a lot less stressful than I anticipated!

If you work it out let me know how. Ds (20 months) has had breaks of 2-3 days when I've been away overnight and not there to feed him and he just starts right up again as soon as I get back so 'taking a break' hasn't worked for us.

I do have to listen to quite a lot of crying at night when he isn't very well though as I pretty much never feed him at night any more. I hate the crying but I just cannot do it a night any more. Breastfeeding is quite painful for me so the 'feed while you sleep' just doesn't work and at night my tolerence for the pain is just so much lower and I find myself getting really annoyed. It is very upsetting though when he is ill and wants to feed at night as I feel guilty for saying no but if I let him feed he hurts me and I get more and more upset as well so the whole thing deteriorates

As long as he doesn't feed at nigth I can take the waxing and waning of number of day feeds at the moment. The main problem is the constantly pulling down of my top when we are in public (especially in church ). Again it seems to go in phases, a few weeks he won't be intererested and then all of a sudden every time he is with me he yanks my top down so everyone can see my (usually manky-bra covered) breasts.

I'm so scared of what to o if he's ill and I'm not bfing him any more! Daft as I manage to look after dd without bfing her! Bluejelly, v interested that you just stopped - kind of feel ds needs that kind of definiteness - all the milk has gone. were you feeding much when you stopped? any cunning tactics?

Hunker - yes, not in till late these days (and off till Sept now, yay!) xxx

Greensleeves

well, after thinking I'd try and at least cut him down today have just fed him as he got overtired and really upset before his nap. just can't face the trauma in trying to make him stop if he's not ready....

I really strongly recommend the "feed only in a few set places" model. It works really well for us. DS2 never never pulls at my clothes (I really hate that, hence me bringing in the "only in my bedroom" rule). Actually, I think he'd have a go if I lay down in public, but that doesn't generally happen, so that's ok.

It really is nice doing extended bf, and I'm happy to know that if he gets a tummy bug, or when we fly somewhere, or when he's having a miserable day, ok we can feed more, and if he's off food, well, at least he's getting milk. Sticking to bf in one place means I'm happy to keep bf for as long as DS2 wants to. (I know demand feeding is meant to be better for extended bf, the whole "never refuse" thing, but DS2 really loves boob, and sticking to one place hasn't made him go off boob yet.)

I know this might not be conventional but it worked for us so thought I'd suggest it, as it might help. I too have felt the guilt thing/desperation and embarresment as people stare at you for bf a toddler.

My dd is 16 months I have been trying to reduce bf to once am and pm. But found it easier to let dd have bf in day and get dh or anyone but me to give her a bottle of milk last thing at night( soya formula as she has a milk allergy, so you could try normal formula which could take longer to digest than cows milk)Then she seems to sleep through and you can start the day fresh which does help with the demands of bfing. The other thing we do is if I put her to bed and she has bmilk I prepare a flask of cooled boiled water at drinkable temperature and make up a feed if she wakes in the night, because I can do this quickley she drinks the bottle before realising its me! and I can usually get her off without bf. Perhaps this would reduce the amount of time your ds is at the breast and so reduce the pain!! Hopefully