Breastfeeding - to dummy or not to dummy?

[OhPuddleducks]

This is my second baby, so you'd think I'd be able to make this decision, but my confidence has been knocked and I need some advice.

Brief background - DS born with big tongue tie and despite feeding voraciously for five days until it was snipped, he refused to or couldn't latch on afterwards for two and a half long weeks. During that time I pumped every three hours day and night, bottle-fed the expressed and tried to get him back on the boob. Also saw bf counsellor, HV and cranial osteopath. We finally managed to get him latching on a bit and as of last Tuesday when he was three and a half weeks old I've been exclusively bfing, I'm thrilled as it's what I wanted to do all along. He's probably my last baby and I was teetering on edge of depression with feelings of inadequacy, rejection, guilt and sadness when he wouldn't latch on (all daft in the cold light of day, but I was in a dark, irrational place). I've also had mastitis twice so haven't been on top form physically either. Anyway, he's really sucky and, if things had gone better I'd have been confidently offering a dummy now to help him settle himself in his Moses after feeds (DD did this and it worked beautifully) - especially as we can rarely get him in so are getting tiny amounts of sleep at night and no real time to help our poor little two year old feel secure while she adjusts to her brother... But I'm terrified to muck up the bf again by introducing a dummy. Feeling fragile about being responsible for another potential problem. WWYD?

(Sorry, not that brief in the end)

How old is he? Four and a bit weeks? I'd say go for it.

Do you feel your supply is settling down? He's already managed the bottle/nipple thing without confusion, and I suspect you'd know when he was actually hungry and when he just needed something to occupy his mouth.

My unqualified advice would've to go for it. The main advice about dummies and breastfeeding us about not introducing one too early - I think you're past this point now.

You deserve a massive pat on the back for getting this far - I'm sure you had many opportunities to give up so well done for persevering. We also had a less than perfect start so I understand the worry about jeopardising something you've worked so hard for.

Hi OP

Sounds like you've been doing an amazing job! I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes tbh, but just wanted to say that.

My DD2 was very sucky, in the first 3 weeks I didn't want to introduce a dummy even though BFing was going well, so I used my little finger with the nail clipped shorter. After that time I tried to introduce a dummy but she was having none of it. DD1 had a dummy so it's been an adjustment, it's so much easier being able to just pop it in and know they'll fall asleep...however she's 5 mo and we're used to it now. She does fall asleep on her own if I don't feed to sleep after having a little cry (about a minute usually), and it is quite nice knowing we won't have to do the whole getting out of bed to put a stray dummy back in bit.

It sounds like you need a break but I would also have the same concerns about latching, is there any way you can get a break using other means? Eg babysitting grandparents/friends while you nap, or they could take your eldest out for a treat so you can concentrate on the baby without feeling guilty? Also we found one if those battery powered swings could send both babies off to sleep, with or without a dummy - could help you take a nap during the day, or buy time to play with your toddler? And maybe co-sleeping (I did this a few times in the first 2 weeks, just to guarantee a decent night).

Sorry I can't be more helpful, maybe if you're able to get a little bit of rest it will make it easier to make a decision. But really you've been doing a super job and this bit is hard, so feel good about that!

I came on to add my tuppence worth that it worked for us... But you've been through the works, poor you. Huge respect for getting to where you want to be with BF. All I can say is I don't THINK the dummy had an adverse effect for us. I'm generally a dummy advocate, or pro-choice at least.. You do need space to breathe and give attention to your DD so I'd say go for it. But maybe someone else has better experience or something more scientific to add??
(i think DS was more like six weeks when we started the dummy and although I have had sporadic latch issues I don't attribute them to dummy use.)

Thanks everyone. I think my supply is settling down - it's been a bit haywire switching from boob to expressing to boob, we were hoping to get to next weekend but it's such a killer doing everything on no sleep. We have a swing thingy though, so I can give that a go (I'm a nervous co-sleeper - never end up getting much sleep!) - my mum's staying with us til Wednesday so the irony is, this is sort of my downtime! Just wish he'd go in the blimmin basket!