Where are the peope (breast or bottle) who feed whenever, even if that's 20 times a day sometimes?

[emkana]

Because that's me, I feed ds entirely on demand and couldn't even tell you how often he feeds or what gaps there are between feeds, but I feel a bit in the minority with that sometimes, or are other people here like that? No criticism intended, but on the born in June 06 thread there is a lot of talk about feeding times and nap times etc, and I just let ds sleep and feed whenever he likes so I feel a bit left out.

EmK, I fed DD on demand. If that's what suits you and DS, then that's fine. There are loads of on demand feeders out there. In my ante-natal group I think 4 of us were on demanders, 1 was a GF and the mum of twins was bottle-feeding to her own routine.

I did try to sort out a napping routine though, but only following DD's natural sleep patterns.

I fed both mine on demand and intend to do the same with this one, I truly believe in doing what is right for you and your baby, if it works what has it got to do with anyone else.

I got critised for bf until 18 months and told them all to bugger off!
My moment of glory was when midwife said I was a good example and I should be giving talks to local breast feeding groups.

I'm in the June 06 group too (although DS was actually born 1st July!), and also demand feeding. Like you, I've no idea when or how long DS is feeding for, I just feed him when he cries. If that doesn't settle him, I try other things afterwards.

For those who had a constant feeder first time round - DS1 was the same - 4/5 hr cluster feeding every night. DS2 seems to feed often (2/3hrly), but not for long each time, which makes life a bit easier. That said, DS1 did sleep straight through from a few days old, so maybe the cluster feeding was good for something!

I can hear somebody awakening again...

Emkana, I fed virtually constantly (or that's what it felt like!) for the first 3 months! I used to read these books which said useless things like "Most newborns will sleep for 15-22 hours per day". Mine didn't! I used to name her meals acc size - a small one was a snack and a big one was to match whatever meal I was on! i didn't really have a routine until she started solids at 7 months and I think from looking at friends that being relaxed about feeding etc is a good thing.

Keep up the good work - have seen a pic of your wee man on another thread and he is GORGEOUS! That milk is clearly liquid gold

X

I fed on demand and found dd developed her own routine. I'm a great believer in following the babies lead, although a lot of people felt I was a bit bohemian but in return i thought they were anally retentive .

Another June 06-er here, and also demand feeding.

It's the logical way to feed really - can't understand why people criticise it. This way, baby gets as much milk as they need, when they need it - it seems much healthier than trying to shoehorn them into a routine.

I fed on demand until the children were 12 months or thereabouts...
All this stuff about making them wait for an arbitrary time seemed far too rigid and stressful - why count the minutes if you could just pop them on and sit down to read the paper?
Have been surprised since by how many breastfeeding mothers don't demand feed - I can't think of a single one out of my current acquaintances - they were all on some kind of 4 hour schedule by 2 months at the latest.

(and can I just add - in case one of them reads this I'm bored hearing about your schedule and how long the baby can now go between feeds. Please stop talking about it on a daily basis).

I do think that a tiny baby like yours need demand feeding - though some babies demand less than others IYKWIM . However I also believe that this subject brings out stong feelings like breast vs bottle. Ii seems to me that with older babies in households with bigger children - true demand feeding would be pretty much impossible. If you need to drop off/pick up children at a set time for school etc, babies need to fit in with that. Most parents would probably offer a feed to try and ensure the baby doesn't ask at a really inconvenient time (i.e just as about to leave the house etc).

So does demad feeding include offering a feed to try and get enough time to do something else? I think most women will do this even if they say they are demand feeding. I wouldn't say I exactly demand fed after 6 months old because I encouraged regular sleeps in ds and aften offered a feed if it suited me - i.e say we had been out for 2 hrs and he hadn't fed that time and I was about to get in a car for a 20 minute drive. So it say I completely demand fed is not true but I certainly never made ds wait for a feed if he wanted one (unles I was driving and had to find a safe place to stop etc...)

I did, when breastfeeding dd2. With dd1 (who I had to bottlefeed) I never quite understood the transition from breastfeeding on demand to bottlefeeding at certain times, so I got through about 20 little Avent bottles a day with her. It's difficult to know what to do when they're crying, so feeding her was my first guess. And nine times out of ten I got it wrong ....

Also, dd2 was hospitalised with bronchiolitis at 8 weeks and was losing weight rapidly after recovery.

Lazycow, I consider myself to have demand-fed dd and did all those things you mentioned eg offer a feed before a long drive etc. You can't force a baby to feed, and if she wasn't prepared to, she just turned her head away. dd was my first. To this extent, demand feeding means non-scheduled feeding, I guess. But the wonderful thing about bf-ing (once you get into the swing of things), is that it is so convenient and easy. And demand feeding incredibly flexible. The breast is more than milk, it is comfort, cuddles as well. When my dd was a young toddler, I frequently offered it when she was upset or tantrumming. Instant soothing.

Earlgrey, my symphathies about your having to make up 20 small bottles of milk a day! That would be me if my dd were bottlefed (she rejected all bottles BTW). She was a snacker, little and often - and cried all day as well, frequently for no apparent reason. Sometimes, just wanting the comfort/sucking, rather than the milk. Some babies (even bf-ed) fall into a schedule because they can/want to take large quantities at a go. But my dd just wanted to sip, sleep, sip, sleep. Even with her eating now, she snacks throughout the day.

I demand fed ds up until a few weeks after he was weaned. He was weaned at 26 weeks, so I think he was around 28 or 29 weeks. Once he was on three meals a day, I set the mealtimes at specific times, followed by specific nap times and of course a set bedtime (but bedtime had been set in stone from 12 weeks). Although I will still feed him if he demands, he never has as all the feeds have fallen into place round the daily routine. I felt the same as you on the post natal threads. Folk were talking about feeding every 4 hours etc whilst I felt like I was feeding him for 4 hours at a time!!! It DOES get easier though. Well done and keep going

I demand fed both mine & they were both snackers. 10 mins feed every couple of hours. DD is now 8m and still only has a couple of "good" feeds a day and the rest are quick sucks. I like it though as it gives me a chance to give her a cuddle. As No2 she does tend to get "plonked" rather a lot (high chair, floor, car seat etc etc....) when no1 demands attention.

I don't particularly like the term demand-feeding - "demand" sounds too...well, demanding!

But I feed whenever DS2 wants it, as I did with DS1. For the first three or four months, I fed loads - DS2 in particular cluster fed masses in the evenings.

Now DS2 has worked out that there are toys and things to play with and leaves to watch on trees, and various other distractions, he often won't feed for ages in the day, unless we're somewhere very familiar or boring. He'll often have a few quick sucks to quench his thirst and that's it then, I can't get him to feed again. But he's a big lad and he makes up for it at night, so I don't worry about it. But there's no way I could do routine-feeding with him - unless we stayed at home all day, every day, perhaps (and that's NOT an option!).

I bf DS (turned 2 on Friday) whenever he wants & always have done. I eat & drink when I want to, so why shouldnt he?

Both my ds's have fed/slept/played etc as and when they want.

Routine is just not for me, it feels too inflexible. But they always fed/do feed at more or less the same times each day, so I guess set up their own routine.

I didn't count feeds or time between feeds with either of my dds. A few months ago when dd2 was 6/7 months old I had a sudden panic when I realised that I was seemingly alone with that but the panic was over with in a moment when I realised there was no merit for me to know the answer to the question "how many times does your 6 month old feed a day?"

you aren't alone emkana. mine's a may 06 baby and i just feed whenever she 'asks.' this is in the face of mil and fil who say they will pop over to see us when dd has 'had her lunch' ??!! they continually ask 'what time will she be having her nap' etc etc blah blah. having said that though, she roughly falls into feeding every 3 hours, but with this hot weather it's just whenever, sometimes constantly all afternoon. and at night she has fallen into just one wake up at 5am, having gone to bed between 8 and 9.