bf-ing - do you think it is in itself tiring - more than just having a baby would be?

[youretoastmildred]

I am interested especially in anyone who can answer this from the perspective who has done both.

I have been told that bf-ing is not, per se, tiring, although looking after a baby is, and in fact bfing will be less tiring as there is less logistical stuff to do.

My mother (among others) disagrees and feels physically tired by breastfeeding. (though she says it is easier because more convenient, she says you are always quite tired when you are doing it and have to have a more limited life because there are certain things you can't manage). I agree with this (though she did not put it in my head, she only admitted to this after I asked her about it when I was bfing. she is very pro-bfing and would never say anything negative about it at a decisive moment!)

I am not saying that it is like that for everyone but I do think it is like that for some of us. Does anyone else agree?

Has anyone had an experience of bfing a baby, stopping at, say, 6 months, and getting a rush of energy?
Or feeding 2 babies successively, differently, and having different experiences of this?

I bfed mine till they were 15 or 16 months and didn't suddenly stop, but from about 10 or 12 months when they were eating and drinking freely, felt a lot better, and was able to lose weight and get out and about more. I do ascribe this to them taking more of their energy from food and less of it out of me.

Interested to hear all about it!

I've bf my first 2 to about a year and never noticed a difference in my energy levels when I stopped. With ds 2 we fell into cosleeping for around 2 months when he was 6 months old. I have never felt so exhausted in my life! For me it just didn't work, I don't think I ever got into a deep sleep with him nexg to me and he definitely fed far more often at night than either before or after that time - when he went in his cot.
Ds3 is 6 weeks, ebf, and sleeping pretty well at night. I have been more tired this week and I ran out of vitamins about a week ago. After reading this thread I might go shopping for more tomorrow...

I've been bf all day today, and I'm tired from just sitting all day! Much like in pre dc days when you used to vegetate on the sofa in front of the entire boxset of 24.

BF definitely does make some people feel hungrier and/or thirstier, but we don't need to eat or drink some set amount extra.

I reckon on that note it probably does make some people tireder too but I think it would be false to say this is a given.

TBH, I probably just sleep less and do more since I had DS which is why I feel tired. Maybe?

But yes I definitely feel tireder when I do nothing!

Breastfeeding completely drained me, I was exhausted and the craving I had to eat high-calorie food was unbelievable. However it did get better from 3-4 months when the supply began to regulate itself. Before that, I was like a dripping tap - constantly leaking a LOT of milk and therefore a lot of calories. (and that was aside from the demands of the two voracious milk monsters I've had - not twins, but even one at a time, my god could they guzzle it.)

So maybe if you feel tired out by BFing it's because you make a lot of milk?

Yes.

Yes to the op's title.

I mixed-fed DD, and I did find it a bit tiring. Although it was more the drag of limiting what you could wear and where you could be to feed. FF was definitely easier, and the bottles barely take any time to wash/sterilise.

Anecdotally, my bf friends were very tired, especially the ones whose babies fed every 2 hours for months. They all perked up when they stopped bf.

Hmm, not sure if it has anything to do with quantity of milk either, I had massive oversupply with DS1 and I'm one of the "not particularly exhausted by it" folks.

Thank you tiktok. I don't even admit to my own mother that DD sleeps in our bed. I'm happy to have her next to me; I just feel the pressure to get her out (from DH too). I expect that eventually she'll begin annoying me and then she'll have to go. Until then, we'll carry on. Wonder if I can suggest that DH move into the nursery?

DS sleeps reasonably well except when poorly. EBF to 6 months, still feeding now at 15 months. Hard to tell if I'm more tired as I haven't stopped and he's my only.

I do find myself feeling more drained when he gets a cold & goes on a feeding marathon. Some of that may be circumstantial though (more disturbed sleep).
I'm actually over a stone lighter than pre-pregnancy - still within acceptable BMI but not a comfortable weight for me in that I know pre-baby that skipping a meal at this weight made me feel shit. I eat generously, but always have done. I suspect I would feel better if I could get up to a better weight - I felt more resilient at a higher weight pre-baby. (I don't feel terrible, but do get tired more easily).

One point on the "bf makes lazier partners" scale - we've eventually, after much sweariness, settled into a mealtime pattern where it is DP who feeds DS and it's DP's plate that DS wants food from. Which is fucking fantastic and I don't understand why we couldn't have just done this 11 bloody months ago.

I agreed with a lot of this

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/12/worst-breastfeeding-initiative-shopping-vouchers

I see that the investigator refers to schemes in other parts of the world like "free food to bf-ing mothers in India". Completely different! I have no idea how that actually works but I think that, in some forms (not humiliating traipsing around with welfare vouchers for instance) it would be a great idea. If bf-ing cafes actually put full meals on for free - how great would that be! Turn up, see a bf-ing counsellor, stuff you face with good food you did not have to cook, the rest of the day is going to seem a lot easier. Maybe a doggy bag for your toddler's tea. Or would that be over-generous?

Meant to put that on the other thread, sorry!

I breastfed both of mine for 9 months.

I was knackered, but I put it down to broken nights.

It was only after I stopped breast feeding that I realised I had been truly exhausted by it and I looking back, I looked pale and extremely thin.

My first was extremely big and hungry and he drained every bit of goodness out of me.

This is a really interesting thread.

I'm BFing DS who is almost 1 and I feel like crap.

Not so much tired as drained and generally under the weather.

I'm the thinnest I've been in my adult life despite eating vast amounts.

I look older and keep getting mouth ulcers and spots. My nails are flaking.

I don't want to stop feeding but if it is the cause, I can't carry on like this.

The act of bf isn't tiring, the fact that I'm bfing every 1-2-3 hours day & night is.

Bfding soothes, calms & makes me feel relaxed & content like no other activity I have ever done ever has.

Prior to my children, I would NEVER take 20 minutes every few hours to just sink into my sofa and just sit, no way. Too much to do.
It's forced relaxation which I like.

My baby is 10 months old btw. I'm the healthiest I have been in years, weight coming off, hair shines and skin lovely.
My eyes sting constantly and I'm feeling my 43 years.

Work it sounds like you might have some kind of vitamin deficiency - it would be worth seeing your doctor.

Bf one singleton was FAR worse than looking after newborn twins with very little support. Plus older child. Bf ing is brutal in my book. But I'm sure not everyone feels that way, I think it varies.

I FF my first 3 DC and have EBF the last 2. I don't find BF tiring at all, although I'll admit I don't find babies particularly exhausting either past the first couple of weeks, but maybe that's as I've never really needed much sleep?

I do think BF is more restrictive in the first weeks/months, when you're getting feeding established, but I don't see why it should be after that? I certainly don't think I do any more of the parenting due to BF.

Bertie yes you're right. I did see a GP actually about 4 months PP as didn't feel right but he was really dismissive so it has put me off going back.

Perhaps ask to see a different person? They should refer you for blood tests, that's what mine did.