Please Help!!

[lindsey86]

Hi I'm Matt and my wife Lindsey is having to feed our newborn constantly. An hour feed followed by 10 mins rest and back on again!!

She's getting no sleep and its breaking my heart!

Any advice?

Hi there and congrats!
How old is the new baby?

If only days old then this is normal -they need to be close to their mums,it's a warm, familiar place to be.
Things to try....check the latch to make sure the milk transfer is as efficient as it can be ( ask the midwife)
Learn to feed lying down
Make your wife comfy on sofa, bring food, drinks and chocolate to her and let her feed the baby.
Remember that it won't be like this forever!

Thank You!!

I feel so helpless!

agree with crikey, it's pretty intense in the early days! but baby needs to feed a lot to ensure good supply.

how old is baby?

She is 4 days! Ive read similar forums where people complain of similar issues but it seems to be at age 12-18 days.

congratulations! is your baby actually feeding or just using mummy as a comforter? can you see/hear baby swallowing?

very frequent feeding is normal in the first few weeks and does settle. I also recommend learning to feed lying down and co-sleeping.

Hi, Matt....this is not only normal but good.

We want babies to be feeding lots at this age.

It 'calibrates' milk supply so sufficient milk is produced according to need for weeks, months in the future (check out 'prolactin receptor theory' for details).

If milk is being transferred effectively then all that needs to be done is to support the mother, enable her to bf lying down and resting, and care for her :)

The baby will have a longer sleep soon. It is never hourly feeding literally 24 times in 24 hours.

If your wife is comfortable (no damaged nipples) and the baby is producing soft yellow poo, then happy days.

4 days ago your little newborn was inside her mum. It's no wonder she wants to recreate that familiar closeness, warmth, taste and smell. Breastfeeding satisfies your baby's need for emotional connection as well as food/drink.

Hope this helps.

Thank you all, one other thing.

My wife is only able to bf from one breast. The other is really hard and the nipple is inverted. This has happened after 2/3 attempts to bf on this side.

Hey congratulations on your newborn

Just seen your post and think you've already got some great advice on here about the actual feeding but when I was going through this stage things I would have really appreciated my partner doing was making sure I had regular meals, drinks and easy to reach snacks. Make sure you put stuff down in front of her she can actually reach - Nothing worse than a good chocolate bar just beyond your grasp is there?! Do this all without being prompted,tell her "I planning to make you X for lunch now, is tha ok" rather than asking her what to do. Then make sure you keep on top of the basics of housework so she's not feeling pressure to do all that too, because the view from the sofa of housework mounting up and being unable to do anything about it is horrendous.

If you are still unsure about the feeding do call one of the national breastfeeding helplines. They have fantastic advice and are very reassuring, or speak to the midwife.

Best of luck

Thanks all. Still feeding now from 8.00am this morning.

Baby is def feeding we can see and hear the gulps.

Glad were not alone!!

Both mine did this, it will stop eventually!

YY to making sure your DW has everything she needs to feel comfortable in this phase.

With DS, I wasn't at all comfortable with co-sleeping as I felt waaaay too tired for it to be safe, so bless him, my lovely DH sat up and watched me feed DS lying down for a couple of hours at a time one Saturday afternoon (think he read a book or something at the same time). It let me relax enough to sleep, so I could recharge a bit for the nightshift.

Posted too soon.

The other thing which helped me feel better was a long hot shower. A midwife had encouraged DH to hold DS skin-to-skin against his chest while I expressed on the ward (top-ups while we sorted out a tricky latch) and he found that DS would settle to sleep on him that way, to give me a break and get a bit of time to shower, change, stand upright, that kind of thing.

Try to hold the baby for a bit so your wife can try to hand express a little milk from the very full side. This should soften it up enough for baby to latch on and the natural sucking action will help to draw the nipple out. Rather than using breast pads it can be helpful to use breast shells t protect the inverted nipple rather than pressing it back in.

Good luck and do encourage your wife to ring one of the breast feeding helplines or get real life help from a local consultant if she needs to.

How lucky your wife is to have such a supportive husband! You may feel helpless, but you have no idea just how much just being there for your wife will mean to her. One of the strongest memories I have of my daughter's first days is of my husband stroking my arm and saying he was proud of me. (I really struggled at first) I can't put into words just how much his support means.

Practically, you can hold the baby in between feeds so your wife can rest/sleep/bathe, change nappies, be compsny for your wife, especially during night feeds, keep the house tidy, cook meals, make tea and coffee etc. pretty much everything except feed the baby.

Oh I remember this stage! Googling and Googling; do I have enough milk? Is my letdown too fast? Is it too slow? Why is my baby fussing at the breast? How do I burp the baby? ALL I did was feed.

It helped me to remember that my baby was not just getting food, he was also getting his immune system developed, activating his thymus, staying warm, feeling safe from predators, having normal sleep patterns and wiring his little brain. In prehistoric times, a baby at the breast would be far more likely to survive than a baby that was happy to be put down - and babies don't know it's the 21st century!

You've had great advice for how to help your wife; she does need a lot of support so she's lucky to have such a caring partner.

Just like to say thanks for all your help everyone. My wife managed to get some sleep after the little one eventually settled!

glad she got some rest :)

to re-iterate what another poster said, if your wife can hand express a little from her very full side that should help soften the breast enough for baby to latch on.

Really glad she got some rest at last, it is so tiring! good she has such a supportive husband!

One other thing, once your wife feels up to it she could carry the baby in a sling, they love the closeness and it can make things easier. Finally, don't forget you can ask your mw for help and support if you need to.