Breastfeeding support - is this normal?

[georgie22]

I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 11 week old ds. It's not been plain sailing (and wasn't with dd 3 years ago). A tongue tie was detected in hospital shortly after birth but all the professionals I saw said it was not severe enough to impact on feeding. We had issues with ds and slow weight gain in the first 2 weeks but this quickly sorted itself out. I sought help with feeding from the local breastfeeding buddies who were very nice but can't be 'hands on' and can only observe baby feeding.

Fast forward to 7 weeks and ds is having problems with silent reflux and I was still in pain feeding. Seen by GP who feels that his tongue tie needs assessing. No reply on specialist midwife mobile number - just a message advising people to call the National Breastfeeding Helpline. Looked at option of tongue tie being assessed privately but midwife doing this locally booked us in at NHS hospital for this. Had a horrible experience of having to hold ds whilst his 'significant' tongue tie was cut. Feeding did improve and was less painful for me. We're now at 11 weeks and it's uncomfortable to feed again. I spoke to the midwife who did the frenulotomy last week - she had said she would call 1 week after procedure but called at 2 weeks. Suggested contacting buddies and said she would call in 1 week. I have left a message for the buddy but she has not returned my call and the specialist midwife has not called on her only working day either.

Sorry it's so long but I feel that I want to write to the trust about my experience, not as a complaint but as an observation. I'm bloody minded about continuing with breastfeeding so don't intend to give up but just wondered if this is typical with regard to support?

I don't have any advice, I'm sorry. I hope you get the support you need.

Sadly, probably yes is quite common. Specialist infant feeding support is usually badly funded, in most areas it relies on volunteers and maybe a few part time workers.

IME you need to be a complete nuisance, calling everyone all day, leaving multiple messages etc. They will prioritise those who shout loudest...

I don't know if this is any help, but when tongue ties are cut you need to do exercises on your baby's frenulum to ensure it doesn't grow back again. Basically you need to stretch it (but obviously don't want you to do that without professional advice). If you're having pain again whilst feeding I wonder if that's what's caused it?

I thought that was the case, thezoobmeister. The support locally was better when I had dd but one of the specialist midwives has retired and the other is on sick leave. I am considering seeing a lactation consultant privately if I need to.

GinGinGin - we were told that we should try to encourage him with tongue movements which he does do. It looks very different to before so I don't think it's regrown. The discomfort is different to before his frenulotomy and my nipples aren't distorted following a feed now. Really hoping things settle down as I'm now willing to stop bf'ing as I know his reflux is likely to be worse with formula plus this is so easy and convenient.

Thanks for the responses.

not rather than now!

What's the actual discomfort like op?

georgie, breastfeeding support is very patchy in almost all areas of the country. In some places, it's one person, and a bunch of volunteers whose time and skills are not endless, and who are just not trained in difficult situations like yours.

Some places have no breastfeeding support at all, just the volunteer bfcs from the national organisations on the end of a phone, who may or may not be in the locality.

You could write and complain and explain why you need more in-person support.

Meantime, you could phone the buddy again.

Things are better than they were - I've been really concentrating on getting a good latch over recent days. The nights were worst as I was not checking on his latch properly and I know he needs to relearn after his frenulotomy. He has a tendency to pull off quite hard when he's finished which then causes trauma to my nipples. I'm using Lansinoh after each feed which is helping. I'm not getting pain between feeds now and it is much more bearable so feel we're heading in the right direction.

Have you tried the NCT breastfeeding helpline as they can put you in touch with someone local who can come round and help with feeding you don't need to be a meme bet or have done a course.
Also if there are any la leche league groups in your area.
Sadly breastfeeding support isn't great. I have been struggling and took till baby was 4 weeks to diagnose a possible tongue tie which we having done privately this afternoon. Found the nursery nurse attached to my health visitor service who is trained in Breast feeing was very helpful when she came round.

Is there a La Leche League Group in your area? It might be worth googling them and seeing if they can help at all?

Tiktok - it's a joke when there is such a push towards breastfeeding but the support is just not there. I'm a health care professional and get irritated by promises to call not happening. I'm aware that there are people giving their time freely to support women with breastfeeding which is great but has just not been enough in my case.

Essexgirl - it's only sometimes that the NCT line can put someone in touch with a local bfc. I am an NCT bfc. There are about 300 of us. We are not everywhere, by any means.....vast areas of the UK have no one, as we're not evenly spread :)

The local bfc is a volunteer with her own family and constraints on her time.

Just wanting to manage expectations, sorry!

I have had calls in the past from women who have my number and think I am just available to see them like NOW, and they might be 20 mls (or more) away from me - more recently, bfcs try to ensure mothers have a more realistic idea of what we can and can't do.