I accept the ‘breast is best’ (for babies) argument whole heartedly. I believe that breast milk has been designed by nature with everything a baby needs to thrive. I believe in the benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and child. However, I also believe that there are mothers, like me, who are unable to breastfeed, or have genuine reasons to stop breastfeeding, or who are put off breastfeeding all together and I feel that this ‘payment’ scheme is an insult to every single one of them. The scheme is fundamentally wrong, because the people who have dreamed it up have misunderstood why mothers either do not breastfeed at all, or switch to formula after a few weeks.
I tried to breastfeed my daughter, she had a great latch, the midwife who came to see me the day after she was born, said that she was a natural. However, after a few days it became apparent that my milk hadn’t come in. She was crying constantly, attaching to the boob, sucking like crazy and then pulling off and screaming. Sometimes she would start to feed for a few minutes and then get agitated. On the HV’s advice, I supplemented with formula and waited for my milk to come in. I started every feed by offering her both boobs, until the screaming became unbearable, and then gave her formula. I did this every two hours. When she slept, I sat with a pump, trying to express, willing my boobs to work, but an hour of pumping gave me barely half an ounce of watery liquid. Finally, I went to see my GP who diagnosed ‘primary lactation failure’. I sat in her office and sobbed because I felt like such a failure. She gently told me that I’d tried my best, but formula wasn’t poison and to just get on with bottle feeding. So, I bottle fed. I can’t quite describe the guilt and shame I felt, and still feel. Most of the new mums I know breastfed, with the exception of one mother whose baby had reflux and needed ‘Gaviscon’ powders which were easier to deliver in formula, and another whose mastitis infection was so bad it caused her nipples to bleed. I felt very jealous of the new mums around me who could breastfeed, and jealous of the bottle feeding mums who seemingly did so with confidence, and never doubted their choice. When I heard about this scheme on the news yesterday, despite the fact that my daughter is 2 years, 3 months old and thriving, I sobbed.
The scheme is crude and demeaning to mothers. 75% of mothers start off breastfeeding, but by 6 weeks only 24% are still breastfeeding. This scheme suggests that if mothers thought there was something in it for them – a shopping spree pay off – it would make them try harder. They would be less likely to give up because a trip to John Lewis is more enticing than feeding your baby as nature intended. It suggests that the women who do give up are selfish, and wouldn’t give up if offered a reward. It implies that all mothers make an active choice not to breastfeed because they believe it will impact negatively on them, when in fact, for many, they have no choice at all. Or, at least, they feel at the time that they have no choice.
The first 6 weeks of motherhood are, for some, the most challenging and terrifying of their entire life. Hormones are raging, mothers are sleep deprived and everything is new and scary. Mothers do worry that their baby isn’t ‘getting enough’ when they feed – they have nothing to compare it to and you can’t see how much milk your baby has consumed, so you worry. Your baby cries and you worry. You worry about pretty much everything to do with your tiny, vulnerable baby. You question yourself because you just do not know what is normal and what is not. Everyone has an opinion on what you should do, which leads to mothers receiving contradictory (although often well meant) advice and it is confusing. In my area, I only had one visit from a midwife and one visit from a lady who came to do the ‘heel prick’ test. She couldn’t answer my questions because she wasn’t a midwife. Later on, I went to the ‘weigh in’ clinic every week and was told I only needed to come once a month and not to come back the following week. I struggled to know who to turn to and end up seeing my GP – who was lovely, but not a specialist. My point is, the message we get is that ‘almost every woman can breastfeed, only 1% of women do not produce enough milk’ yet no one takes into account what a huge challenge it is for some women physically and emotionally. The offer of money is not going to change that. When you are an emotional mess having money dangled like a carrot in front of your face will not help. Nor will make any difference to women who have other reasons as to why they do not breastfeed; a severe case of mastitis, a baby with tongue tie, a mother who needs to take medication and, therefore, isn’t able to breastfeed at all.
I think, for me, what it comes down to is this; this scheme is insulting to mothers, because mothers do not need to be bribed to breastfeed. Most mothers would happily give up a £200 ‘reward’ to relieve some of the pressure and anxiety they face in those first few weeks. What a struggling mother needs is support, practical advice, guidance and reassurance, not a bribe. If the government had unveiled a scheme to hire two lactation consultants for every Sure Start Centre, with a view to educating women about the benefits of breastfeeding and what to expect when breastfeeding whilst they are pregnant, and then supply specialist care and advice after birth, including 1:1 breastfeeding consultations if they are needed, I would have jumped for joy. I understand that it is important to encourage women to breastfeed, and if they were doing this through expert advice and education it would be wonderful. However, this scheme is an insult to us all.
Last year I met (through a friend) a lady who works as a breastfeeding councillor. I told her my story and my fears for the same thing happening with baby number two. She gave me some advice on things I can try during the later stages of pregnancy to stimulate milk production. She also said that she wished she had met me when I was struggling with my daughter because, she wondered if she could have helped me. I wonder if she could have too.