Mix feeding - mistake?

[GeorgieJo]

Hello,

My 4 week old DC1 is a very hungry baby, and I am struggling to keep up!

He put on 2lb in first 3 weeks and feeds a lot - for 30 to 60 minutes, usually every three hours except in the evening when he wants to suckle contiuously from 5ish to 9ish.

After a week of fretting and frantic head shaking "attacks" at the breast, I caved in and offered formula after bf for the first 2 hours. He drank 130ml in about ten minutes and was instantly calmer. So I have done the same for the last 6 days - 1 hour on each breast then formula (and he always takes around 100mls or more).

I know all the advice says that cluster feeding in the evening is normal and not to top-up for fear of hurting supply, but I know after 2 hours of solid feeding I have zero supply (I can tell by how they feel and have also tried expressing with no success).

And if my baby is taking that much formula then I know he is hungry. And to be honest not spending 4 hours trying to feed when I can't leaves me a calmer and happier Mum.

BUT I feel incredibly nervous about eroding my supply, and I have masses of guilt about introducing formula...

I am trying to express enough during the day to top-up with breast milk, but I can't always get enough.

Anyone have a good experience with mix feeding? I can live with one bottle of formula a day, but I don't want to stop bf yet!

Or is there another way to handle cluster feeding?

I am a FTM so this all feels quite scary - I just want to do the "right" thing...

Thank you so much

Georgie, sorry you are so worried about this :(

Some info for you:

• a baby who takes 130 mls of formula is not saying 'I was really, really, hungry'....he is saying 'I love to suck'. The bottle teat provides a super-stimulus for sucking, and the baby who loves to suck has not much control over his intake (the sucking produces milk in the teat which he has to swallow, or else gag on it). Breastfed babies can adjust their sucking to match their needs much more accurately

• soft breasts are not 'empty'. Breasts which you cannot express from are not 'empty'. There is always milk there, and the baby may well be effective at getting what there is (and emptier breasts make milk very quickly anyway). You have not run out of milk - though the head-bobbing on and off may mean your baby wants a faster flow sometimes, but this behaviour is temporary and really does disappear after a short while

• yes, formula has an impact on breastmilk production, because you are widening the gaps between breastfeeds. Many mothers 'get away with' one bottle of formula in the evening if they feed often the rest of the time, but it's hard to predict which way things will go....so for someone like you who clearly wants to breastfeed, it's a risk that doesn't even sound as if it is making you more relaxed. You say you are 'nervous', you have 'masses of guilt' and that doesn't sound much like 'a calmer and happier mum'.

Perhaps you can talk over what you want to do with one of the breastfeeding helplines? They will listen, won't tell you what to do, and they certainly understand about the pressures and stresses that cause the concerns you have - hope you will call :)

tiktok thank you so much for the advice. One thing I don't understand is how to tell the difference between a baby that wants to suck and one that is hungry. How can I tell?

Do you think it is worth trying a dummy when he wants to feed for over 2 hours rather than a bottle?

You are right about the guilt/nerves; perhaps I should have said: I would be a happier, calmer Mum if I didn't feel so guilty and scared... ;-)

To a young baby 'I want to suck' and 'I am hungry' and 'I want to be close to someone who loves me' all feel the same - and breastfeeding satisfies all of them.

A baby who is not actually hungry will either stay on the breast and suck in such a way that he gets less milk or will take a little more than he needs and bring up the excess (breastmilk comes up very readily :) )

In terms of protecting your milk supply, a dummy is better than formula, yes.

I think if you want to continue bf (congratulations on that, btw) you should definitely listen to tiktok. Mixed feeding worked for me and my (poorly) newborn DS, and allowed him to get some breast milk from me for eight weeks which he otherwise would not have had. But in your position I would try a dummy, definitely, and call the helpline!

(Know I'm just reiterating tiktok here but I did mixed feeding, it was fantastic for us but it doesn't sound like it's actually what you and your LO need/want).

My LO would not settle at night so we started giving a bottle of formula at night... That rapidly became two and then three... It is too easy once you start. Also once you start on solids you will notice they tend to cut down on bf rather than ff.

I know it's not really the weather for it, but could you wrap him up snug and take him for a walk in the pram (or drive) to settle him at say 7pm? He might then snooze in the hall for a few hours and be more contented/sleepy when he wakes for next feed later.

Or could you bf him lying down to sleep somewhere safe, then gently de-latch and edge away?