Well done comments on bf.

[curlyclaz13]

I am probably alone and bu but I am getting a bit miffed at hcp telling me well done on hearing ds is still ebf, at 4 1/2 months. is it really that unusual ? In the last week I have had it from the hv when he was weighed and from the nurse today when he had his injections. I know they mean it in a positive way but I suppose I am surprised that they seem so suprised. I get it from older family members too but they are from the wean at four months generation so it doesn't bother me.

When my HV came for her first appointment at 2 weeks she congratulated then told me I was the only mum on her books bfing, so perhaps it is that unusual.

OP, I know what you mean, why compliment me on something that is just natural and i'm meant to be doing it anyway?! But thet, when you look at those stats, you kind of see why they praise you, seems that many mums just give up. It is hard work initially, but there are ways around it to make it easier.

I was breastfed until I was nearly 2yo and would love to be able to offer the same to my DD.

So, just enjoy those praises and keep up the good work! :)

Good grief, I do wonder if posts like this are actually for real or if people are just boasting or what the point really is.

OP I can only assume that you didn't have very many issues with breast feeding and perhaps haven't heard many stories about people who have.

My baby is 3.5 months old and I am still breast feeding because I really really persevered.

It started with him coming 4 weeks early, he wasn't strong enough to latch and I am sure this had an effect on my supply I started to express bit it just wasn't enough. Every three hours I went on that pump and it was heartbreaking being on there and unable to cuddle my baby when he cried.

I never noticed my milk come in and I never feel heavy and neither do I leak , expressing seemed to not make me produce enough milk and no matter how often I have baby on my breasts it seemed my supply never caught up.

I then went through a few infections and blisters on my nipples, cracked nipples, bleeding and it was horrendously painful feeding him, but still I persevered, breast is best and I wanted to feed my baby. However we have had no choice but to top him up with formula he was losing weight and not getting enough from me, whether I fed him from the breast or expressed.

I constantly feel like I am being judged for giving him bottles of formula, lots of breast feeding fanatics telling me that it cannot be possible to have a supply problem that my body just produces what my baby needs. They have obviously not had to deal with a screaming hungry baby.

I have tried, I have given more than my all, I have been too exhausted to leave the house most days but I really don't think I have had many 'well dones' but plenty of 'oh well just give up then, it must be tough'

I cannot ebf my baby as he would starve, but I am giving him every drop I can and all I seem to get is looks for mixed feeding.

So posts like this don't help me at all.

YABU. I say this because I've had such a painful time with breastfeeding, honestly, it was just too too painful. And there was nothing I could do, because by the time I decided to give up breastfeeding, my baby wouldn't take a bottle at all. So I had no choice but to carry on. When I reach 6 months of breastfeeding I am going to celebrate, and if people say well done to me, I will be very grateful.

I had issues, including bleeding nipples, pain, bad latch and useless support to start. So don't judge.

Praise can be very tricky....and to say 'well done' to someone for breastfeeding is best avoided, because i) it can sound patronising and ii) implies that people who are not breastfeeding for whatever reason don't deserve praise and are not worthy of a 'well done' iii) the mother considering stopping bf may be sensitive to a 'withdrawal' of praise

None of this is certain, of course, and that's the point: no one giving the 'well done' can be certain of how it will be received. In the OP's case it is mildly annoying, and of course she says she knows it is meant in a positive way, and so no big deal really.

But for other mothers, it might well be hurtful or distressing, or anger-making, and if someone who is ff overhears it, it could sound judgmental.

Praise puts the 'praiser' in a position of judging - and that's not good. Even if the judging is positive.

There are many ways of affirming the mother's breastfeeding, without saying 'well done'.

So on balance, I agree with you, OP :)

Oh, and I have just remembered! A HV praised me for breastfeeding my first baby, 'ooh, you are doing marvellously, and look at your baby, so contented, you can tell when they're breastfed, they look so happy....well done, you!' and I wanted to bop her on the nose!

That was also because I knew she was pretty useless at supporting breastfeeding and was full to the brim of terrible advice about it, and I could so easily have said 'hmmm....I've done well, have I? No thanks to you!' but all I could do was simper at her praise

I've got over it now :)

My baby was in hospital this week, 9 days old, with weight loss and jaundice. The doctors praised me for persevering with bf, and said lots of very positive, very reassuring things about my technique. Despite my son's weight loss, nobody suggested formula. They gave him IV fluids for about 12 hours while watching me feed and weighing his nappies. It's hard, and the temptation to move to formula is huge at times. Sometimes new mom's need some recognition and praise.

Spoonfulofjam that sounds incredibly difficult. Hooe things are improving...

Well done everyone!

Having tried desperately hard to bf but failed because of what was eventually diagnosed as primary lactation failure, I feel like I want to say well done to anyone who manages it for any length of time. You are doing an amazing thing and people like me wish we could be like you.

Well done Spoonful - we had an extended hospital stay due to jaundice (and we're re admitted) so I know how difficult and frustrating it is. I'm really glad the hospital were positive about bf ... Mine was not as helpful.

Bejeena, sympathies. I managed to bf my son for 8 months through horrendous difficulties and upset (6 bouts of mastitis, ripped nipples, endless latching problems) and a well done was certainly not meaningless. A lot of us appreciate the encouragement and support on the tough days. My only worry with it is that people who have persevered and tried and found it unworkable for one reason or another could feel the sentiment upsetting.