Why do I feel so fed up?

[midori1999]

Baby is still only very young, 4 weeks old. EBF but won't take a bottle of expressed milk so far. Some friends are going out tonight and I really feel like I could do with just going out and really letting my hair down, having a few (or a few more than is sensible!) drinks and it will be months before I can do that even if the baby takes a bottle.

There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that I want to EBF, but I feel so trapped by it this time, even though the baby is a dream. I just feel that every time I do anything, including sleep, I'm just fitting it in in between feeds.

I fed DD for just over two years, until she self weaned a couple of months before the baby was born and never felt like this. I know this is just a short time of my life and I'm being selfish, but why on earth do I feel like this?

So sorry that you are felling down over this, how are you the rest of the time? Could it be that you are generally fed up and this is the one thing you are focusing on?

Just because she won't take a bottle now, doesn't mean that she won't soon and if you do need a break, there are always other ways like cup feeding.

Could you arrange for a night in with friends where you could take Lo? My friends did this for me when dd was little and I really appreciated getting out, having a glass of wine and seeing everyone.

Thank you both.

I do have some friends round next weekend, so that's something to look forward to and DH'S will probably take the baby upstairs and just bring him down for feeds. I am quite lucky that he seems to do his cluster feeding in the mornings/early evenings and then once he's asleep he sleeps a 4-6 hour chunk up until midnight/1am. I don't feel I'd be able to relax going out during that time if I went out though, in case he did need a feed. Of course, I could come home again, but I'd be on edge the whole time.

You're both right of course that it won't be long before things are different, so I suppose I just need to hang onto that. I have been to some LLL meetings and plan to get to the next one, but it's a bit difficult in terms of timings and other DC.

Glad you've got something to look forward to and you've got a supportive DH. Do you think having sone chocolate and sleep might help or is your mood considerably worse than that?

I think it is worse tbh. I might speak to the HV. I had PND after my first, although haven't had it since, but things are difficult at the moment and DH has to work away a lot. I do feel the BF is adding pressure, but maybe I am just focussing on that, because there are lots of reasons it's easier than FF in some ways, bed sharing and getting a full nights sleep, for example.

Thanks. Of course, chocolate never made anything worse, I'm sure....

Oh midori so sorry you are feeling like this. I doubt if you were ffing you would have been able to go last night, you need time to recover from the pg and birth and Lo is still very little.

I think talking to your HV is a good idea, sounds like you might need some additional support and you are right to seek that support now rather than struggle on.

Have you got some resources from last time? There is some info here, a helpline here and [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Mothers-Do-especially-nothing/dp/0749926201 this book is often recommended on here but haven't read it myself.