want some reassurance I'm not the only one

[UniSarah]

want some reassurance I'm not the only one doing a late night and a middle of night breast feed with month old. SiL was giving me stick about it last evening, trying to tell me i'm spoiling Ds and should leave him to cry for couple of nights and he'd then sleep through.
didn't feel able to rant back at her, she has 6 kids but as all adopted has never breast feed.
Had 4am wobble about was I doing the right thing. BUT in daylight am more certain I am doing right thing for us. dh and I both quite often get up in th night to have drink or go foor pee, why should I expect DS to go all night if hes waking up thirsty.

You're not alone - well, this thread should give you some idea of that already But I'm still feeding my nearly 6mo in the night - don't know how often, but do a late night feed then he either sleeps till 7ish or he wakes four times - no way of telling what he'll do based on how often he's fed during the day, how active he's been, how much sleep he's had - just some nights he's hungrier/thirstier than others.

Which is fair enough. So am I

Do what feels right for you. I suspect it's not leaving him to cry - so feed him, enjoy the cuddles and the little warm head against you, the contented noises he makes - and if you're suffering from lack of sleep, try co-sleeping - makes everything much easier IMO and IME.

uni,ignore her.
you are absolutely doing the right thing.
i hate it when people talk of 'spoiling' tiny babies.

Thanks guys. I was just having the 4am wobbles post Sil chat and lhearing about other babes at baby massage etc who are ignored during the night becasue they started sleeping throough "so I know he can do it".
Now I've had a day to think about it I'm thinking that - of course SiL does things differntly, its 8 years since she had only one baby to look after, now she has a 9 month old AND 5 older kids. Also suspect there may be a bit of jelousy going on as she'd love to have been pregnant and had her own kids and prob love to have breast feed , but it wasn't to be.
DS will sleep through when hes ready. it may be some time off as DH and I both still get up in middle of the night for a drink some nights, so why shouldn't boy.

absolutely
was happy to do a nght feed until nearly a year old.

Dd was born in March - and a bit of a surprise after 2 dses.

Your SIL doesn't know what she's talking about. As I assume everyone else has said.

i'd still like to know how u can spoil a child by feeding them on demand/giving him a cuddle lol.

keep up the good work US, u're doigna fab job YOUR way which is the most important thing as he's your boy not soemone elses!

Your doing great - just ignore her

Unisarah I think you have just hit the nail on the head when you say

"hearing about other babes at baby massage etc who are ignored during the night becasue they started sleeping through "so I know he can do it".

Exactly- if they can do it- then wake, don't you think they wake because they need to, not want to? My ds slept through at 8 wks for 3 nights in a row, then woke again for a while. I was happy whether he did or did not wake- the fact that "he can do it" (as your peers say) meant that he would again, and there's no point in forcing the issue, IYSWIM??? Not sure if this makes sense.

You are by far doing the right thing.

like your name!

Perfectly normal. Most babies do NOT sleep through. Those who have babies that do should feel smug and shut up and leave the rest of us alone!

My dd woke up at least once (usually 2-3 times per night) at your dd's age. My dh told me to smile and say 'oh yes, has done for ages' when asked if dd 'slept through' 'ate well' or any other of the enquiries that just seem to make us feel guilty that we don't have the perfect babe - except of course we do

My dh had a humdinger with his sister when dd was about a year old and she was advising 'letting her cry' yet again. He told her everyone has their own way of doing things, and what she did with her own kids was her business, but we chose not to leave our child crying and distressed and he'd be grateful if she'd stop telling us to do so.

When my mum said 'crying won't hurt her' I said, 'sometimes it sounds like you actually want me to make her cry - just seems cruel to me'. She has never interfered again.

Perfectly normal. Most babies do NOT sleep through. Those who have babies that do should feel smug and shut up and leave the rest of us alone!

My dd woke up at least once (usually 2-3 times per night) at your dd's age. My dh told me to smile and say 'oh yes, has done for ages' when asked if dd 'slept through' 'ate well' or any other of the enquiries that just seem to make us feel guilty that we don't have the perfect babe - except of course we do

My dh had a humdinger with his sister when dd was about a year old and she was advising 'letting her cry' yet again. He told her everyone has their own way of doing things, and what she did with her own kids was her business, but we chose not to leave our child crying and distressed and he'd be grateful if she'd stop telling us to do so.

When my mum said 'crying won't hurt her' I said, 'sometimes it sounds like you actually want me to make her cry - just seems cruel to me'. She has never interfered again.