Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

BF to sleep - normal or am I creating a monster?

23 replies

RigglinJigglin · 21/10/2013 22:45

I'm starting to get 'helpful' hints that feeding our 5mo to sleep is going to create a negative sleep association.

So I don't drip feed. DD is pfb, she's mixed fed as I'm a bfar mum. Feeding to sleep doesn't cause me or my DH any probs, she's fed to sleep for most of her naps and before bed at night. If she wakes in the night she is on the boob to sleep.

For her naps she mainly drops off to sleep within 5-10mins, evening takes a bit longer. She doesn't stay latched on, when she's finished she often (not always) latches off and rolls onto her back to sleep. I feed her side lying and then transfer to her cot when she's down.

Am I creating a rod for my own back here and should I stop doing it?

OP posts:

BazilGin · 22/10/2013 07:36

No rod for your own back, it's natural. What a lovely way to go to sleep as well :-)
I am still bfing my 2 year old to sleep...but that's because I still feel comfortable doing it. There are some gentle ways to stop them asociating boob and sleep, read 'No cry sleep solution'. I never bothered with it though because it's a foolproof method, boob=guaranteed sleep. Having said that, now that I am pregnant again, I may think of slowly weaning her off the boob sleep association. Go with your gut instinct.

gamerchick · 22/10/2013 07:38

No its fine. After all.. how many teens do you see needing fed to sleep? ;)

5 months is still little and if it works why would you stop?

ILoveAFullFridge · 22/10/2013 07:44

My personal experience (2 dc wake-to-feed, 1 dc feed-to-sleep) was that feed-to-sleep was a total nightmare. But that was because he needed boob to stay asleep. I was being woken up every 45mins. If yours just has a few sucks then unlatches by herself, rolls away and goes to sleep, and stays asleep, then it's a classic case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".

How often does she wake during nap/night looking for boob to go back to sleep?

dashoflime · 22/10/2013 07:48

The thing is- breast milk has sleepy hormones in it. Its actually designed to get babies to sleep. Why on earth would you have something like that in your arsenal and not use it?

Mind you- mine is still nursing to sleep at 15 months and I've no idea how I'm going to get him off it

MinesAPintOfTea · 22/10/2013 07:53

Still doing it at 17 months but I like the quiet snuggies the rest of the day he doesn't stay still for more than 20 seconds but he nearly always sleeps through and is completely night weaned.

Do what works for you as a family.

Original poster

RigglinJigglin · 22/10/2013 08:46

We've just had a series of colds here so night waking and looking for comfort have peaked at 7 a night between 1am and 6am. She gets in with us at first wake up otherwise we'd never sleep.

TBH I think we're over the worst of that as the past few nights she's up twice at the most.

It's good to hear some reassurance about it have seen some judgey faces when I've been asked about it, but I'd have no clue where to start trying to get her fully asleep and not catnapping without a boob!

Ta!

OP posts:

marthabear · 22/10/2013 08:53

I have always breastfed mine to sleep. Precious times that don't last forever.

mrsmartin1984 · 22/10/2013 08:57

This is normal. You should do what you feel to be natural and ignore everyone else with their misguided opinions

MoominsYonisAreScary · 22/10/2013 10:00

Ive always bf ds4 to sleep, hes always just falken asleep while feeding which was fine when he was sleeping through from 8 weeks till 6 months. Hes now 9 months and not sleeping through and getting worse! We have 3-4 wake ups between going to sleep around 8 and half past 11. He doesnt feed but just likes nipple in mouth to fall asleep.

All fine except id like to go out for my friends birthday next month and have no idea how to help him settle without the boob for when im not here

Original poster

RigglinJigglin · 22/10/2013 10:34

Moomins similar situation here - off to a evening do in November and I know she won't fall asleep properly. I hope DH can settle her but she's a monkey somedays. Might be easier with a dummy but each time we try she looks like we're trying to poison her with it! Complete dummy refuser.

OP posts:

MoominsYonisAreScary · 22/10/2013 11:14

Mine shouts at the bottle and the dummy, Ill be around to put him to bed but know he will wake back up and be angry if there is no boob around. I have the 18 year old on stand by to deal with the toddler if the noise wakes him up so dp can concentrate on the baby. Id be much happier though if I knew he would settle. I guess we will have to keep trying different things over the next month.

ILoveAFullFridge · 22/10/2013 11:31

If you want to make any changes in your feeding-sleeping routine, I highly recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Lots of ideas of things that you could try. Not prescriptive or judgey. The best one for me was the 'Pantley Pull-Off'.

But, please, make any changes because you want to, not because of a judgey-pants' beliefs.

And y'know, despite the grinding, knackeringness of 18 months of being woken every hour, sometimes I utterly cherished those quiet, peaceful moments with my little boy. As the youngest of three, and a little live-wire, I never seemed to have the opportunity to just be with him during the day. I think that's what delayed me addressing what, for our family, really was a distressing and dysfunctional issue.

ILoveAFullFridge · 22/10/2013 11:32

Sorry, meant only to highlight our, so "for our family".

Changes the sense slightly!

dobedobedo · 22/10/2013 11:33

I fed by baby to sleep until he was almost 3. Found it the most peaceful and lovely end to the day. He's 8 years old now and goes to sleep on his own :-)

NoComet · 22/10/2013 11:41

No!
I BF DD to sleep sometimes until she was 5 years old and quite often even after that.

This didn't mean she didn't quite happily settle for week squash in a spouted cup and yoghurt if I wanted to go out from 7 months. (DD2 never understood the concept of bottle or milk).

Or when older go to bed with a drink and a bedtime story if I was out or really busy.

As for naps, DD2 didn't much go in for naps.

Bumbolina · 22/10/2013 11:41

I fed my dd to sleep until she was 2 - quickest and easiest way to get her to sleep. Weaning at 2 was painless, and she understood what was going on. I'm now pregnant again and if the baby wants it I'll do exactly the same

My 2 year old now goes to sleep holding my hand, takes about 10 minutes :-)

justwondering72 · 22/10/2013 11:57

Still bf my 3 year old to sleep, it works for us so haven't seen any need to change it. He goes to sleep fine for daddy if I am out.

Sunnysummer · 22/10/2013 12:05

I seemed to be the only one in morher's group doing it in the early days and felt like a bit of a sleep failure, but now we've got to 7 months lots of the others admitted they have been doing it all along! It seems actually pretty common but not everyone likes to tell other mum's as they feel like they'll be judged for to the rod for own back thing.

That said, we are gently stopping the feeding to sleep at 7 months, as DD is still waking every hour and it is actually killing me. Second recommendation for the No Cry Sleep Solution - especially as you for sound all that bothered by the situation, so you can take your time and make changes in a way that works for you (if you want to make changes at all).

Purplehonesty · 22/10/2013 12:31

I fed both mine to sleep until they were about 12 months then after that half the time they were awake going into the cot and finally all the time.
Still feeding 16mo dd but plan to stop soon and its good she can self settle.
5mo is tiny just a baby, don't worry it comes with time

cornflakegirl · 22/10/2013 13:35

I fed DS2 to sleep until he was probably about 2. Night-weaned using No Cry Sleep Solution at about 16m because it was getting ridiculous, but still fed to sleep at bedtime. As others have said, he was perfectly fine with his dad doing bedtime his own way if I wasn't around (probably from 18m, don't think we tried before then).

DS1 didn't feed to sleep - and wouldn't feed to sleep - always woke up when I tried to put him down. He was a pretty good sleeper anyway, but on the occasions when I found it harder to settle him, I really wished that feeding to sleep worked!

cantthinkofagoodone · 22/10/2013 13:43

It can be a rod for your back but not necessarily. I'm not arguing that it isn't a natural thing for a baby to do BUT if you were creating healthy sleep habits, ideally your LO would go to sleep in the cot after being put down wide awake.

The sleep regressions that occur because of a sleep association are because when your baby's sleep changes and the differences between deep sleep and light sleep are more obvious, they need to be able to carry themselves through the light sleep without any sleep crutches that aren't immediately available.

You can either pre-empt a regression and teach your baby how to fall asleep independently or you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

Also, you will want to brush teeth after milk but before bed at some point.

FacebookWanker · 22/10/2013 13:46

I fed to sleep for a year and have never had any problems with her going to sleep (staying alseep, maybe). I'm not saying it's true of all baby's though. I've always just done what's suited us at the time and not worried about making a rod...

mewkins · 22/10/2013 18:01

If you are willing to keep doing it then that's fine and no 'rod' involved!
I however got to the stage where she fed to sleep and then woke every 45 mins as couldn't get herself back to sleep. That is no fun and both of us were miserable so worked hard on self-settling. Dd is 3yo now and a brilliant sleeper so I would do the same again. However friends of mine have been happy to feed to sleep until 2 or 3 - I guess it depends on the person.

Flip