GP recommended stopping breastfeeding - anxiety and depression

[BigBirthdayGloom]

Have just seen doctor and she's diagnosed anxiety and depression, which I'm relieved at.
However, she's suggested I stop breastfeeding my two year old. In one sense I see the logic as dd (my third) feeds at my bedtime and then between three and four in the morning which is contributing to my tiredness. However, I enjoy feeding her, it is a real connection, she loves it and it is important. I also fear that I will feel guilty for stopping because of my mental health, as I do tend to blame myself a lot. And also, I am not sure I am resilient enough just now to cope with the weaning process. I fear it might make her sleep worse rather than better.
I spoke to the breast feeding network and they felt the antidepressant I've been prescribed would be okay for a toddler feeding as dd is, and at the dose I have been given would be okay with a little baby anyway.
I'm not sure what I'm asking really, just feeling a bit sad at the idea that I should be stopping one of the few things I feel successful at just now. But I want to get better.

Do you want to stop bf? If not I think there may be ways to continue bf. Did your GP recommend stopping because of worries aboout the antidepressents in your milk or did she suggest stopping because bf is putting too much pressure on you?

Would it be possible to cut down on DD's bfs? Could someone else take over night time duties for a while until DD learnt to sleep without bf and you just kept one bf session just for putting her to slee?

Are you going to be getting additional support to the antidepressants? Some kind of counselling? IME this comes with a waiting list but then they could help discuss what's best for you more in depth than gp can?

Or did the GP recommend stopping because she (like many others) things bf a 2 year old is a bit strange and unnecessary? I bf my 2.5 year old and did the same with my son. When he was about 2 I was struggling and saw the health visitor - first suggestion was to give up bf.They are just people with the same prejudices as anyone else and I would guess there is no medical reason to give up. If you enjoy it and don't want to wean I would not give undue weight to the GP's opinion.

IF the drugs won't affect your dd and you don't want to do not give up yet. You both enjoy it and if dd struggles to give up it will add to your anxiety. I dropped bfing dd3 at 2.6 and I found it horrendous. I didn't want to stop but I was out the house so much it just tailed off. She didn't like it and asked so much to have another bfeed. Even 6 months later she latched on for some 'boobie juice' to see if it was still there.
Stopping bfeeding is a big choice and you need to weigh up whether the extra sleep outweighs the anxiety it could cause

I think the main reason she wants me to stop is that she is concerned about the early morning waking to feed that dd is doing. However, I fear that dd might continue to wake early, but be properly awake rather than feed and doze as she does then. So I'd have stopped feeding, which I feel good about and dd enjoys, still have a wakeful child who then needs a properly awake adult with her. Square minus one. The lady on the national breastfeeding helpline today said there's no evidence that stopping night feeds improves sleep.

I stopped DD from bfing through the night and established going to sleep bf and bf after waking up only after 6.30am with minimal hassle when she was about 2yo. I explained to her what was going to happen, she could bf as much as she wanted to going to sleep, but then no more until morning. The first couple of nights were difficult, then we had another couple of nights with problems, but within a week she was used to it.

I appreciate how difficult it is to do it though as bf is sometimes the road of least resistance and it is difficult to change things when you feel so tired and sleep deprived. I got to the point where something had to change and that spured me on, but now the bf is more contained it's easier to do.

OP you sound very sensible
I would also bear in mind that by stopping before you are both ready you may feel a bit more low plus you may miss the oxytocin high and you would be giving up an important tool that soothes your toddler. I'm sure whatever you choose is the right thing for you both.

Thanks all. Moaning-I don't feel all that sensible in lots of ways-just that bf is one thing I seem to have clarity on. I just wish I had a crystal ball to know how dd would respond to stopping. One thing I do know is she can cope for a day and bedtime without me and bf. So I'm thinking of having a night away just to recharge. She doesn't ask for me or milk when I'm not there but it's really important to her when I am.
It's citalopram that I've been prescribed. Felt very strange taking the first dose. I just hope it helps. I am a combination of maternal bf and very non maternal irritability, weepiness and inability to concentrate.

Is it worth trying to drop the nightime feed for a couple of nights?

You must be exhausted. If it works you can continue bf in the day and hopefully be able to have more sleep at night.

I don't think you need to stop bfing if you don't want to but maybe look at stopping during the night so as someone upthread said feed at bedtime and then again in the morning but at night just offer water.

If you are co-sleeping this would probably be very hard though.

I think I need to try going away for the night. She and I coped very well with a day trip I had the other day where I left at seven and didn't get back until nine (I coped very well with the day shopping, lunching and gossiping with my friend and I think part of the reason for the anxiety/depression being quite so bad at the moment is being burnt out and exhausted. I'm also going to ask/insist that dh has the three dc for a long afternoon a week so I can nap and switch off. It's difficult to do in the week because although I'm a sahm and dd naps, we're having work done so I don't relax in the house.
I really think I'm not stopping bf. I don't think I'm just clinging onto it because dd is the last. Although I fed the other two dc for at least fifteen months each, they weren't to reliant or attached to it as dd2 and it had stopped happening as comfort in the day, which led naturally to stopping at night. Dd2 likes it as comfort and just because in the day and won't settle back at night without.

We are co sleeping at the mo but dd2 will soon have her room. I do feel I need space at my bedtime to read and wind down and although I'm sure she'll end up with us at some point in the night, just going to sleep in my own bed at the start of the night would give me a bit of a break. And perhaps even break the night feeding habit.

I found being able to go back to my own room at night made a huge difference. I literally close the door and feel free!!! (of course I love DD, but sometimes the clingeyness gets a bit too much).

The BfN lady has confirmed that to continue feeding whilst on medication won't do your child any harm, so there is no reason to stop feeding until you're ready.

I suspect your GP gave advice with the best of intentions - she probably thinks a good night's sleep would benefit you enormously. She probably hasn't really grasped the wider issues around stopping feeding though - most children don't give up feeding before they're ready without a bit of a fight. Are you ready for that? Don't be too hard on your GP - most only receive a 20 minute lecture on breastfeeding in the entirety of their training.

Why not go back to a BfN group for a chat with an advisor to work through some tactics for cutting down slowly in a way that is as stress free as possible for you both?

Asking your GP to refer you for some counselling would be beneficial too.

Morning! Took first pill last night and either I've stopped feeling worried about feeling worried, iyswim, or there's an instant effect. Also had instant nausea this morning-not do good but generally fine. And dd woke at five instead of her usual three to four so maybe she's saying "it's okay-here's the deal-you carry on feeding me and I'll sleep a bit better". Had a big chat to dh about just how bad I'd been feeling and how strongly I didn't want to stop feeding dd and he's with me. We have decided to take a friend up on her offer of a bed overnight so I can have a good rest.
I know the full effects don't kick in for a while, but felt so good this morning that I had to google citalopram and apparently it can instantly ease negative perspectives on things, which has always been my biggest problem-always reading the negative into things.
Counselling really helped me, nancerama, but I think that in order to fully put into practice the things I've learnt from a few sessions of cbt I need to acknowledge that my chemicals need a bit of balancing.
Booboo, I'm looking forward to dd's new room even more now!