Breastfeeding aversion

[misselphaba]

DD has just turned one and is going through an almighty sleep regression and wanting to be fed every time she wakes which when she is very overtired can be 20+ times. If she isn't too tired, she'll probably wake 4 times minimum.

She is also feeding more frequently during the day when until recently she was only feeding before sleeps and never asked to be fed in between times. This is fine and I have no probs with feeding her during the day, especially as her eating has also been affected during this regression.

But the night feeds! And the screaming when I try to settle her back to sleep without a feed! Last night was awful. I honestly wanted to run away. Of course I'd never leave DD to cry but in the middle of the night, it feels so hopeless and neverending and I find myself really resenting feeding her. Last night I was crying, wishing I'd never breastfed and vowing to bottle feed next time.

Today this all feels ridiculous and Im happy breastfeeding has worked out so well for this long.

But I don't know how much longer I can carry on for. Has anyone else gelt like this and will it pass once DDs sleep and feeding returns to normal? Will it ever return to normal or will I have to step in and do something to encourage less night feedings? I dont want to sleep train, especially as DD was sleeping through (briefly) a couple of months ago but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I was going to give it 2 wks, which is how long the 4 mth sleep regression lasted and feels like a reasonable length of time. I dont want a repeat of the 6 mth sleep regression which became the 9 mth regression which no break into between, probably because I allowed it to. It's now lasted just over 2 wks and things arent any better.

Maybe this would be better in Sleep but its really the feelings I have around breastfeeding that are bothering me.

Is this normal? :(

Yes it's normal IME

I fed DD until she was three years old. There were times I felt touched out and utterly tied to her

She fed to sleep from around 15 - 19 months which wS horrid in its intensity - she slept through the night after that but after a knacks ring day at work and an older child I used to cry over her head willing her to stop

Breastfeeding an older child can be intense and demanding

I feel EXACTLY the same OP. Currently feeding just over one year old DS3 to sleep and have been having multiple night wakings to feed. Feel exhausted and unable to give proper attention to older two. Grrrr.

Hats off doing night feeds at one! I did EBF til DD was 2.5 but knocked night feeds on the head at 9 months. If it's not working then pack in. I know BFing is so emotional but seriously disturbed nights are hard work and your LO has had a good long stint of bf benefits.

I know not everyone would not agree with me though.

I too feel exactly the same as you OP, at night I lie in bed willing ds to stop feeding and just go to sleep and thinking how I just can't carry on any longer. He's 15mo. But in the day I am so pleased I've carried on for this long and know that one day he will sleep through the night and won't need boob to settle to sleep (at least I hope that's the case anyway!!)

Good luck. I find it helps me to tell myself that I can theoretically stop anytime I want and I just take it a week at a time at the moment. Sorry no great advice, but you're definitely not alone!

I really feel if you put this in sleep you might get some good tips on that side of things. It might be stemming from the bf but some sleeping advice or help might be enough to get you through and give you some time/space to work the bf issues out.

Also the bf board is very pro bf - nothing wrong with that if its working - but at the moment you sound like you need some changes.

Perfectly normal. Do you have a dp who could try to settle her for a few nights? He might do better due to dd knowing he doesn't have milk on offer. She's big enough to night-wean...

No advice, but I've also been having big and horrible aversion with my 18mo. Interestingly my period's just arrived and I wonder if that's what caused a tetchy week - thinking about how often aversion is caused by a new pregnancy, there's obviously some hormonal thing going on.

Its nice to know I'm not a heartless cow and that others go through this, but I am sorry for anyone that resents breastfeeding -its a hideous way to feel and I wonder if this aversion to feeding, particularly at night is possibly natures way of encouraging weaning?! Or night weaning at least? Makes evolutionary sense -night weaning leading to return of periods leading to more offspring being produced. No way jose not getting pregnant now thanks mother nature.

Either way, weaning is out of the question at least until I've got the 18mth sleep regression out of the way. Im sure DD will wake during regressions regardless of whether or not she is breastfed (some of her same aged bottle fed friends are affected similarly) but at least with bfing I have an instant settler and am not dealing with 3 hour long night wakings like one poor mum I was whinging to last week.

Fingers crossed but DD only woke twice last night and let me put her bk down without feeding the second time so Im hoping this bad patch is on its way out. I'm definitely keen to encourage less night feeding and am aiming to get back to no night feedings at least until DD turns 18 mths. Ha ha ever the optimist.

I certainly dont feel as bleak as I did a few days ago. Thank you for commiserating and sharing your stories. In other cultures, where breastfeeding has always been the norm, this kind of issue is probably common knowledge and talked about freely. This is why resources like this are so important -to share and rebuild our cultural knowledge of breastfeeding to make it easier to breastfeed without tearing our hair out with the frustration of it all.

So the miracle of only waking up a couple of times lasted 2 nights before normal service resumed.

I am definitely over breastfeeding now and will be weaning immediately if not sooner. Except of course I won't be as I dont have the heart to let her scream.

So I'll scream instead.

Aggggghhhhh.

I know how you feel! My LO is 16 months old and I only feed her before bed and when she wakes up during the night, which she does a couple of times. She occasionally lets DH settle her, or lets me settle her without bf, but not often.

I thought I had a breakthrough a couple of nights ago when she slept 12-.30-6.30 but she was up twice again last night.

She has started asking for a drink sometimes then goes back to sleep after a drink of water (after bf last night!) so I think she's thirsty.

Ideally I'd like to night wean, but I'm not going to leave her to cry, plus breastfeeding is the quickest way to get her back to sleep and we're both working! I now try not to let her feed until she falls asleep, just detach her when she's sleepy. A book called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (I think) has some good suggestions.

Ooh that breakthrough sounds promising. Before DD has an oh too brief period of sleeping through, she has a couple of tantalising good nights here and there then bam sleeping through for while. Sounds like you're on the right track.

I think Pantley recommends gradually decreasing the length of feeds over several nights until baby no longer wakes up for it? Ive tried this before and think it worked but never really sure if it was the technique or just coincidence that DD started sleeping better. It wasnt a sudden improvement so who knows. Regardless, Im giving it another go. Ive posted over in Sleep about it as I was feeling rather desperate and frazzled this morning after DDs reluctance to nap and wanting to feed to sleep which I don't like to do. I needed to formulate a plan before I hand DD to her dad and run away only to return once she's successfully weaned!!!

She's slowly getting better but I think we're in it for the Lon haul. Good luck with getting some more sleep!