Feeling really crappy about having stopped

[icepole]

DD is 2.9 so she's been fed for ages. I wanted to stop because she was getting up in the night to feed and it was exhausting me. Also she was asking to feed during the day and I just didn't have the time to sit down and do it. Finally because I have been unwell with post viral fatigue and I sensed that feeding her wasn't helping.

I wanted a gentle end and it was going well, we cut down bit by bit. But after we stopped for a few days it all went belly up. She started having major tantrums and crying for 'boo boo' as she calls it. I have been stopped for a couple of weeks now and she had another cry tonight. Got her settled to sleep by getting into bed with her and telling her a story but she just woke up crying in her sleep for boo boo. She went back to sleep before I got to her but I feel like shit. This was not how I wanted it to end.

A part of me is tempted to let her try and feed the next time she asks but then I would be back to square one. I don't know. I just feel really rotten right now.

Gave in after the third sobbing session. Regret it now as all the work to get her off is undone. And dh is away so I am on my own with her and can't let him get her in the night. I am an idiot.

You are not an idiot. You are a loving mummy wanting to do the best.

I have no experience, but could you buy a 'special' boo boo replacement, teddy, beaker or something and make a comforting story to go with it and when boo boo is wanted that is used instead?

I'm sure someone will be along who has experience, my dd is only 4.5 months and I'm dreading the day bf ends.

Thanks. My son stopped asking after a day. More than two weeks on and she was still sobbing. But now she will be at me all the time again and I want to stop. I don't think she was ready though.

She did get a new toy when we stopped. I can't believe I gave in. That was weeks worth of work. How do I say no to her now? I actually thought there wouldn't be milk but there still is.

I still had milk 2 months after I stopped feeding DS. At 2.9 you can probably do some negotiation. So tell her she will only get boo boo at bedtime. And then if she asks during the day you can tell her she can have at bedtime.

I have really fucked up. She is now hysterical because I had to take her off because I need to get up. This is why I needed to give up in the first place.

I tried that. She screams hysterically, hangs on to my leg and gets up in the night. She is screaming right now but I need to get us all up and dressed. I hate myself for giving in last night, I have confused her.

There's no point in beating yourself up about last night. You can't undo it. You weren't to know what an effect it would have. You just need to deal with the situation you're in now.

I'm not trying to be mean, but today will be easier to deal with if you're not stressing about last night.

True. I am going to call the health visitor. I think I will just have to grit my teeth for the next week and deal with saying no to her. I feel really guilty though. This was not the ending I wanted.

Congratulations for bfing for so long you should be patting yourself on the back not worrying that you could handled things better.
Could you try the Boo boo fairy? Not sure how this one could work in practice.
Or an egg timer for boo boo time?