3 day old not latching - help!

[TroubleAndFyfe]

Hi, posting on behalf of a friend who's going through a really tough time with breastfeeding. Her baby was born on Monday, fabulous, calm labour. She was kept in hospital for a couple of days as baby wasn't reliably latching. On day 2, when he was just 1 day old he was told she needed to pump colostrum for him. She was delighted when she got a few drops but was told by the breastfeeding 'support' "I'm sorry, that's useless, I'm writing in here that you couldn't produce anything". She was sent home yesterday with a breast pump and formula and has been told to formula feed him and pump her breasts every 3 hours. Her milk is not yet in but she is extremely emotional today and very sore so I'm hoping that's it coming.
So, I'm after some advice for her re pumping. She feels traumatised after her hospital stay, she said thy wouldn't leave her alone. Even trying to pump at home today with a cup of tea, telly on and baby on her lap she was shaking, she is scared of the pump as her breasts are so painful.
I am wondering whether it's the right thing to be pumping so early when her breast are so painful and her milk isn't even in? Although baby is not properly latching he is suckling. My baby only sort of suckled, it didn't feel like he was getting anything at all until my milk came in and even then I didn't get a good latch for the first couple of weeks - we were both learning. Luckily I had done a lot of research beforehand and lied to told the hospital that he was feeding well so that I could go home. My mum reassured me that I should just let him suckle for a few minutes when he wanted to and that when my milk came in he'd know what to do...I didn't feed him anything else. Do most babies properly latch on day two?
I advised dumping the pump and spending as much time skin to skin as possible. Having lots of kisses and cuddles and nice food, things to make her happy and relaxed, offering the breast regularly (trying biological nurturing) and waiting till the milk comes. Is this okay advice or does she 'need' to pump? What about the formula aspect? I worry about the supply and demand element, nipple confusion and reducing his motivation to suckle and therefore learn but she is (naturally, after this awful experience) worried about not being able to feed him.
Thanks in advance and sorry so long!

Your poor, poor friend. If she is up to it, I would definitely recommend she give a BF helpline a call. They are so lovely and will help her make a plan.

Has she had any visits from the community midwives yet? IME they have lots more time than the postnatal ones, all the ones I saw were lovely.

Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will come along as I write this but I think your advice is great. Maybe she could hand express and carefully teaspoon feed her DS a little bit of colostrum?

Would recommend she make a complaint to PALS/supervisor of midwives when the newborn fog has lifted. Her treatment does not sound normal or right.

Oh my goodness, that is truly terrible and I am so for your friend. Of course she will only have drops of colostrum on day 2 and why oh why was she told to pump? Hand expressing is the way forward as the drops of colostrum just get lost in the pump tubing. Sounds like she has had an awful time and when things calm down she really should complain.

Your suggestions of lots of skin to skin and biological nurturing is spot on. Obviously the baby does need to be fed something but colostrum through a syringe or on a spoon should I think be the first step.

Contact La Leche, they're wonderful and should have someone nearby. Help her to be relaxed, well rested and well fed. She needs to drink lots of water. This is so common and so difficult for new Mummies. Good luck x

X posted with AndIfeedem

Hahaha! Great minds Badger

It's shocking though isn't it, I wonder if it's a Baby Friendly Hospital?

Thanks everyone. Glad you've all said to forget the pumping, it seems ridiculous, painful, and cruel. What about the formula feeding? Should she continue now she's started or revert to just drops of colostrum as and when she can hand express them? Obviously most babies are just getting those few drops of colostrum and newborn babies have excellent reserves that mean they don't need more than that until the milk comes in (tummy size of a marble at this stage if I remember correctly) but her milk may be a little delayed due to the stress and se is worried about not feeding him.

Oh yes, and is the not latching normal? It was normal for me but I've only had one (lip tied, PITA to feed) baby!

You're right about the tiny tummy at this stage.
I think your friend should try and get some proper breastfeeding help too as none of us can say if the baby would need formula or not.

When is she next seeing a midwife? Can she assess how much milk the baby is getting by checking the nappies?

Babies can take time to latch especially if they've been manhandled by a midwife pushing the head to get the to latch ( obv we don't know that this has happened here). So like you say, lots of cuddles, no forcing or pushing but just ensure there is plenty of opportunity to offer the breast. Co bathing is something else to try.

Yes, I suggested co bathing too. Thanks! Midwife visited today and told her that she should be pumping every 3 hours as it sounded like she was getting mastitis. (Because her breasts are very painful and she is very emotional)
I will encourage her to contact some support tomorrow - I had suggested NCT breastfeeding support as they were very helpful with positioning for me but will suggest La Leche League too. She mentioned hiring a lactation consultant too which sounds great, I guess it's just a case of getting someone there ASAP!

Its very normal to cry...a lot....on day 3 as the milk comes in. Do contact la leche. Big hugs x

Exactly!
Thanks, I'll email her the thread!

All the things you've told your friend are spot on. Babies need very, very little amounts of colostrum and the best way to get it directly from the breast - too much is lost when it's expressed. Allowing the baby to spend as much time as possible at the breast will encourage him to latch. Sometimes it takes a day or two for the baby to recover from the exhaustion that is being born, even if it was calm for the mum it was pretty astonishing for the baby!

Give her the number for National Breastfeeding Helpline : 0300 100 0212. There will be someone who can talk her through everything. Unfortunately the line closed about 10 minutes ago but she can call tomorrow.

La Leche League do offer 24 hour support on the phone but they're also volunteers in their own homes so ask unless it's urgent to please keep calls to sociable hours. :0845 120 2918.

Reassure your friend that it's OK that things haven't got off to a flying start, it doesn't mean things are doomed by any means but if she is at all worried about her baby she should call her midwife immediately.

Thanks for including the phone numbers, that's really helpful.