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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

question about 11pm feed/dream feed

13 replies

heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 09:03

My dd is just over 12 weeks old and is breadfed every 2.5/3hrs throughout the day between about 7am and 7pm. She settles well at 7pm (ish) after a good feed. My dh has been giving her a bottle of formula (comfort milk) at around 11pm, which we've recently put back further to 11.30pm in the hope that she'll take more! She's quite happy to have a feed from a bottle (which we introduced fairly early on) but only seems to take about 3oz. We've tried waking her up for the feed and also doing it dream feed style but both methods seem to result in her only taking about 2-3oz. On the very odd occasion she's had 5oz which is closer to the 6oz we're aiming for to get her through to the morning!

She then generally wakes up between 2.30 and 4am for another feed and seems genuinely hungry (for a while). I've tried delaying her a bit (cuddle, dummy, water) but I always end up breastfeeding her. She sometimes takes quite a bit but generally only one breast and then is back to sleep. I wonder if this is a habit or genuine hunger? She still seems to be eating quite well at the morning feed.

Anyway, my question is really how can I encourage her to take more at the late feed to push back the middle of the night one? I know this is a purely selfish thing in that I want some more sleep! Maybe it can't be done.....dd1 was much easier and used to wolf down the 10.30pm bottle and slept through pretty quickly....maybe my expectations are too high for dd2....

The other night we left her to see when she would naturally wake up after 7pm and it was at 1am! Pretty good but obviously that would mean 2 night wakings as she then woke up at 5am. And she still only took about 4oz at 1am....

Any thoughts?

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Pascha · 15/10/2013 09:07

If she only takes 3oz she only wants 3oz and pretty much nothing you do can force her to have more. I think at 12 weeks you do just have to go with the flow a bit really.

DS2 was exactly like this, he was very much later dropping night feeds than DS1 but actually, they both started sleeping through 7pm-6am at around 6-7 months old so it made little difference which way round they chose to get there in the end.

AnythingNotEverything · 15/10/2013 09:16

I think you're trying to work against her, when working with her may get better results.

She's only 12 weeks. She's too young to wake in the night for habit - she's hungry!

Could you delay bedtime? If she's going to bed at 7, you're losing a lot of her "nighttime" in your "evening time". If she'll go 7-1 without a dream feed, this could be 9-3, and then she might be up for the day at 7am ish.

She'll start skipping one of those feeds soon enough if she gets enough during the day - be patient.

heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 09:17

I think you're probably right Pascha, not sure there's much to be done if that's all she wants at that time! I don't really feel like I can cut down on what she has early evening (6ish) because with breastfeeding, they have what they need! So was your dd1 just waking up and not needing a feed before 6/7 months when she eventually slept through?

I'll just keep going to bed early and expecting the middle of the night call Smile!

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heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 09:21

Hi AnythingNotEverything, she's always ready for bed by 7pm and it works well with our dd1 tbh so don't really want to start shifting that and I'm not sure how I would do that anyway! I'm grateful that she's in a good daytime routine (4/5 good feeds and 4-5 hrs naps in total) so I think I'll have to just go with it at the moment.....you're right, 12 weeks is still young. I guess I just get influenced by the books I've read saying that by 4 months they don't usually wake up through hunger in the night.

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AnythingNotEverything · 15/10/2013 09:23

Really? The books say that? I'd be tempted to start a thread with that assertion and see what results a straw poll of MNers gets you!

Follow your baby, not the books.

heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 09:44

The 'What to Expect...The first Year' one mentions that but it's pretty good book to be hair, lots of useful stuff in there....All babies are different though although I do think they can be nudged in the right direction sometimes without being brutal! I do listen to her cues but also like to guide her towards good sleeping habits and it seems to be working on the whole, that or I'm lucky! Having said that, she had terrible colic (which dd1 didn't have) and that was awful - I'm so glad that phase is over!!

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heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 09:44

sorry, to be 'fair', not 'hair'!

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Pascha · 15/10/2013 10:44

Ok well the babies don't read the books do they so how would they know what they're supposed to be doing Grin

DS1 had a dreamfeed at around 10-10.30pm and a night feed around 3am til about 4 months old, then we dropped the dreamfeed and he naturally woke around 1am and 4-5am, then 7am. He went into his own room at 5 months and the feeds tailed off to one, then none at around 6.5 months.

DS2 never had a dreamfeed as such, we just waited til he woke himself which was about 3 times a night til 5 months, then once or twice a night at 6 months, then he went in his own room and dropped the last feed by 7 months old.

Both boys slept better for longer when they were in their own bedrooms.

Pascha · 15/10/2013 10:47

I also tend to think its not just about hunger, its a primal thing - they wake and cry for reassurance that you're there for them. The cuddle is as important as the feed.

Lifeisontheup · 15/10/2013 10:51

My DD used to have a bottle of formula (6oz) after her bath and then another BF about half an hour later just before bed at 12 weeks. She would then sleep until 5.30am when our alarm went off.

upanddown83 · 15/10/2013 10:59

My ds is 4 months now and we always tried to a dream feed like you have been doing with the same results him taking very little. So we stopped. My dp and I can go to bed at 10 now (no need to stay up for the dream feed) and ds usually wakes between 4-5am for a feed which mean I've had usually at least 6 hrs sleep before he wakes up!

Naughty22 · 15/10/2013 12:26

Hey heebeegeebees2,
I have been in the same position, wanting to nudge in the right direction in the quest for sleep! DS1 slept through from 12 weeks but DS2, well, a whole other story. He woke at least twice until around 7mths old and it was a bit of a shock. I gave up on the late feed and just fed when he woke - it did mean there was a 5am ish feed too for a while but then gradually that first night feed got later and then later again and then disappeared. I'd get to bed before 11 and go with when her hunger wakes her naturally. You get a better quality feed that way anyway IMO because she will really want it!
Good luck.

heebeegeebees2 · 15/10/2013 21:26

thanks everyone! I think I'm going to let dh carry on with the dream feed because he always stays up really late anyway and then at least she goes until about 3/4am when I can take over. If I keep going to bed early then I can get about 6/7 hours sleep over the whole night. I just have to remind myself of the really early days with 2/3 nightly wake ups plus the the horrible colic...things are way better already Smile

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