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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

feeding last thing before bed

26 replies

lucyarmstead · 14/10/2013 19:57

Can anyone help me? The NHS website says not to feed baby just before sleep, and to start a bedtime routine at 3 months. My baby will NOT settle after her bath without a feed! She cries as soon as I take her out of the bath and won't stop unless I put her on the boob. I don't feed her right to sleep, she is always awake but settled when I put her down. Is this ok? Anyone have another way of doing it? Thanks,

OP posts:
bundaberg · 14/10/2013 19:58

your way sounds perfect to me!

my 3 all fed to sleep and eventually grew out of it by themselves. you do what is best for her... the nhs don't know her!

Playdoughcaterpillar · 14/10/2013 20:00

I fed both of mine right before bed, both good sleepers now, do what you think is right for your LO Wink

dobedobedo · 14/10/2013 20:01

Feed her to sleep. Can't think of an easier, calmer way to get a baby to sleep! I did it with ds until one day I noticed I didn't do it anymore. It's not a bad thing to do!

mrsbugsywugsy · 14/10/2013 20:02

I am feeding my 9 mo to sleep right now.

Original poster
lucyarmstead · 14/10/2013 20:02

Brilliant, thanks so much, I feel better now :o)

OP posts:
BerstieSpotts · 14/10/2013 20:04

NHS website is talking bollocks. Not sure why they even have that on there as they're supposed to offer evidence based advice! Confused

It's fine to feed them to sleep, just what nature intended. Did you know that breastmilk produced in the evening has more of a hormone which provokes a sleepy response. If you lie down with her (as long as you choose a safe place to do this) then you get the bonus of the sleepy hormones too and you can also sleep.

I promise you my five year old does not need feeding to sleep any more :)

BerstieSpotts · 14/10/2013 20:06

Oh although awake but settled is supposed to be the not-breastfeeding-to-sleep mantra isn't it?! I mean, this is the holy grail of what we are supposed to achieve as mothers?

(Tongue in cheek. Not sure I ever even tried this, feeding to sleep worked so well)

sebsmummy1 · 14/10/2013 20:08

I think they say that so ss not to get the baby into habits they think it will take into childhood with it. The Baby Whisperer book also said the same.

I think it's balls too, I feed my 11 month old before bed and I've never had any problems xxx

AnythingNotEverything · 14/10/2013 20:15

I think you're doing it just right. Dunno what the NHS is on about. If she'll sleep when out down content but awake, don't look that gift horse in the mouth!

BerstieSpotts · 14/10/2013 20:17

It's still not evidence based, though. There is no evidence which says that babies who are fed before sleep will become reliant on this. Plenty of anecdotal evidence, of course, but no studies as far as I am aware that say it is harmful (and harmful is subjective anyway, I don't think it's in any way harmful or "bad" to feed to sleep even if the baby is much older.)

Passmethecrisps · 14/10/2013 20:18

What a bizarre piece of advice. Even bliddy GF has a suggested routine where feeding is the last thing before bed.

We started a 'routine' with our DD at 4 weeks just because she seemed to be kind of settling into one herself. By 3 months (and to this day at just off a year ) her routine was bath, bottle, bed. She still goes into her cot asleep but not fed to sleep - she dozes off in my arms.

Your way sounds fab. If it works for you then stick with it. You can always tinker round the edges as you feel more confident or feel the need to change things.

Original poster
lucyarmstead · 15/10/2013 06:36

I was trying to read her a story after the feed and before bed but she just cries through it, either too tired or wants more boob! Is 3 months too early to read a story? Is only a picture book, but she is never interested at that time....

OP posts:
BerstieSpotts · 15/10/2013 08:32

If she's crying through it then yes she is too young. I personally didn't start doing bedtime stories until 2ish, we always read stories in the day though.

There was a brief period where the bedtime stories and the nighttime BF were both happening and even then it was story first, BF after.

sebsmummy1 · 15/10/2013 08:41

I also liked the idea of a bedtime story from really young but like your daughter, he would just cry! If it's not working for you then don't do it because you think you should.

I read with my 11 month old in the daytime, he is obsessed with books, particularly those with flaps!! But if I tried to read at bedtime he would still cry as he is too tired and he likes to fling and cry his way around his cot before he sleeps.

tiktok · 15/10/2013 08:45

Oh my goodness....the NHS website said that? really? It's totally wrong, and it's also very unkind to make people feel pressured like that.

Yes, babies do learn 'habits' when they are very young - but not in the way the (bloody stupid) Baby Whisperer and others mean.

When babies are cared for according to their needs, when they are helped to settle and sleep with a loving, warm, snuggly feed, when their cries and distress are taken seriously, they gradually learn the world is a place with people who love them in it, that they are worth loving, that someone who cares for them is nearby and will 'fix' their distress. When you are a baby , all those are great lessons to learn, and they help you grow up strong emotionally and psychologically.

Have you got a link to the NHS website where they say that? I feel like a complaint coming on :)

KippyVonKipperson · 15/10/2013 08:49

Here it is: Leave a little time between your baby's feed and bedtime. If you feed your baby to sleep, feeding and going to sleep will become linked in your baby's mind. When they wake in the night, they'll want a feed to help them go back to sleep

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/getting-baby-to-sleep.aspx

Although at the top of the page it says: "Carry on feeding until you think your baby has finished or until they’re fully asleep"

So it's a bit confusing!

tiktok · 15/10/2013 09:21

I've complained :)

BerstieSpotts · 15/10/2013 09:47

Wow, there are three totally different bits of advice about feeding to sleep there! One says to feed until they fall asleep, another says to put them down after a feed and a change, and then it says leave some time!

It also says babies should be able to go without night feeds between 6-12 months, I don't think this is evidence based either is it?

Shocking article, sounds like it's been written totally out of somebody's head/personal opinion. I don't mind seeing advice I disagree with, I just want to know that the NHS is sticking to its principles of evidence based solutions only. Glad you have complained, tiktok.

Original poster
lucyarmstead · 15/10/2013 09:54

Is funny because I think it has so much good advice on it, and use it all the time, but just didn't get that bit about feeding as made no sense to me when they are this young, which is why I thought I would check with the real world! So, whilst you lot are making me feel so good, can I ask: My babs has never had a fourth nap in the day so after her 4pm feed, she doesn't nap. I then feed her at 6, bath her at half past, then feed her after that and put to bed. She is miserable though from about 5pm onwards and won't catnap, even if I take her out for a walk etc....will she grow out of this or is there something I can do?

OP posts:
BerstieSpotts · 15/10/2013 09:59

It's normal for them to be unsettled in the evening - often they just want to feed all the time? Is this what she is doing? I would just keep her with you and try to keep it a nice chilled, relaxed time of day - good practice for when she is older too :)

aliciagardner · 15/10/2013 10:03

Honestly, it sounds like what you're doing is perfect. Babies do tend to cry at that time of night (5pm), as they're tired and grumpy.

sebsmummy1 · 15/10/2013 10:08

Actually my son was exactly the same, that last nap of the day was a nightmare, eventually it got dropped obviously. But the only thing that worked for us was a baby carrier. I invested in an ergo for pretty much that problem right there.

He didn't like sleeping in his pram (u think it was a crap pram and didn't recline fully). But if I put him in his carrier and just went outside and walked, he would sleep. I didn't care if it was bloody snowing, I pounded those streets to get some head rest from the crying and by the time we came back my OH was home and would give me a break.

sebsmummy1 · 15/10/2013 10:09

I think - that should have read lol

Original poster
lucyarmstead · 15/10/2013 13:01

Thanks girls! Yes she really just likes the boob by that time of the day, but enjoys her bath in between the tears so it is not too bad :o)

OP posts:
mrsbugsywugsy · 15/10/2013 19:12

I second sebsmummy's suggestion of a baby carrier, dd still gets clingy around that time of day and now she is big enough to go on my back it's perfect because i can cook dinner with her up there.

I've read dd a bedtime story since she was about 6months, but always before her last bf. She normally tries to eat the book but i hope it will remain a consistent part of her bedtime routine when she does stop feeding to sleep