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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Can anyone help me breastfeed? (sorry long)

15 replies

Umlauf · 14/10/2013 17:02

Hello. My 17 day old son and I are really struggling with feeding him. We live abroad and so don't have access to LLL or LCs, only the midwives who have been helpful (but restricted to weekly appointments). We also struggle with a language barrier!

In hospital DS refused the nipple from the outset, and after a day of nothing I had to syringe-feed him colustrum. We were in hospital 3 days and every 2 hours a midwife tried to help me with feeding him but he was screaming hysterically and contorting his body at every try, it was heartbreaking for me and really distressing for him. By the end of our hospital stay he was drinking expressed breastmilk and we were given lots of formula bottles to top up if we need to.

My milk has come in and its really good, theres a lot of it and its rich-looking apparently. After a few appointments with the midwives at the GP, DS is now able to feed with a nipple shield, and I can hear him gulping and there is always milk in the shield but he is still hungry after being fed and cries until he is fed again from a bottle (usually expressed breast milk but backup ready-made formula if I haven't expressed).

He has just been on the breast (seemingly feeding) for an hour before pulling away, followed by 150mls of expressed breast milk. Also, rather than eating little and often, he seems to eat loads and not-often. At 1pm he only had about 40mins (of formula after having screamed at my breast for an hour beforehand) At his last doctors appointment on Friday he had lost weight. We have another weigh-in tomorrow.

I did (and still do) really want to breastfeed him for 6 months ish, and now just think I would be happy to manage until Christmas or even 6 weeks, but I'm beginning to feel really upset by it and don't know whether to give up although it feels far too early. I am pretty sure his latch isn't quite right on the shield having looked at the diagrams, but can't make him open wider... I've read so much theory but can't get it to work in practise.

Thank you for reading my essay, and for any advice you can give!

OP posts:
tiktok · 14/10/2013 18:18

Umluaf - what a struggle :( and what a shame you feel so isolated.

You are dead right that this is a difficult situation - a baby losing weight at 17 days is a Big Deal and you are right to ensure he is weighed often and his feeding situation is under review.

LLL is almost everywhere in the world - have you checked there is no one in your country? Depending on where you are there may be other bf groups as well. If you PM me (if you don't want to say where you are) I can find out.

One thing you can think about is to work out a way to help your baby be happy at the breast.....whether or not he is transferring milk. It may be that the extra manhandling he got in hospital was counter-productive - 2 hrly battles which leave him screaming and contorting should have indicated to the midwives that this was not the way to help :(

Anyone who tells you your milk is 'rich looking' is actually telling you they don't know much about breastfeeding (because the appearence of milk is irrelevant and anyway, milk differs in 'richness' depending on whether the breast was full or less full when it was expressed). So beware :)

Try a day or two of holding him close, skin to skin when you can, no pressure to feed, and when you bottle feed him, continue with the cuddles and the physical closeness. Express at least 8 x in 24 hours inc at night to maintain your supply.

Let me know what you think of this. I have to go but will try to post later :)

Original poster
Umlauf · 14/10/2013 19:36

Thank you for your reply tiktok lots of new information there!

Ive googled and there is a LLL locally but only telephone numbers, I'm too shy to ring really as I don't speak the language. They have a meeting on 19th October though so I may try and go, it is a friend (who is fluent in Spanish)'s day off that day... I went to a BF group last Thursday but didn't understand anything and my DS was asleep the whole time so it was a bit lonely and useless!

I think he is happy enough as he will suck on the nipple shield and even fall asleep, we have come a long way since the horrific hospital time, I should focus on how far we have come really but I'm hormonal and negative! Hopefully his weight will be up tomorrow which will help my mood, and I've insisted on DH (also better at Spanish) coming with me to help demand more information!

I've been told he should be feeding every 2-3 hours but because he eats so much when we do get him to eat, he won't eat as regularly as that so I worry his blood sugar levels are all over the place.

OP posts:
Original poster
Umlauf · 14/10/2013 19:38

I do have pretty big boobs as well, I'm not sure whether they are too big for DS to be able to latch properly... ?

OP posts:
atomicyoghurt · 14/10/2013 19:45

Hi I'm not an expert at all, but with my first baby it too more than 6 weeks to get the breastfeeding sorted for both of us to know what we were doing. If you are happy to keep trying then do stick with it. In the end I fed her until 11 months. She also used to feed for over an hour at a time. With my second I had to top up with formula to get her to put on weight but I still breastfed her as well till 11 months. It sounds like you are trying a lot so I would stay stick with it! One more thing to check us the possibility of tongue tie. You mention that you can hear gulping, can you hear a click as well? My first one had her tongue tie cut and it made a big difference. My third one managed just fine without getting it cut though.
Anyway sorry this is not really advice, there's loads of people more qualified on here than me but just wanted to say having a baby us hard work and you are doing really well!!

atomicyoghurt · 14/10/2013 19:46

Big book issue here too. You might mess around with positioning, have you tried lying down on your side?

minipie · 14/10/2013 22:58

I second getting a tongue tie check... I'm not sure who you would see to get him checked though, it's hard enough to find someone in the uk, sadly.

Did he have a difficult or very rapid birth? I'm wondering about some sort of neck or jaw pain/restriction from the birth since he seemed so distressed at the feeding tries in hospital. again, difficult to know who could help with this anyway.... but you could try different positions and see if it helps him at all.

tiktok · 14/10/2013 23:26

Post when you have a weight update, Umlauf.

If he isn't feeding frequently and is losing weight, then this is a concern. Most babies of 17 days feed more often than 2-3 hourly, and as you prob know frequent feeding is good for your supply.

There will be English speakers in LLL in a Spanish speaking country - look again at your info and see where it indicates English speaking. I am pretty sure that getting this sort of help will be useful to you.

infinitemonkeys · 15/10/2013 07:57

Hello umlauf,

If it's Spain you live in, PM me - if we live close by I'd be more than happy to help you/go with you to LLL groups and translate etc

NotQuiteCockney · 15/10/2013 08:51

It isn't a cheap option, but it can be possible to call the UK breastfeeding helplines from overseas, fwiw. They are free to call.

Is he pooing much?

tiktok · 15/10/2013 09:06

That's a good idea, NQC - NCT helpline often takes calls from abroad.

Or you can correspond by email, Umlauf.

I am thinking of you and BabyUmlauf at your appointment today. Honestly, it sounds so very much that your support in hospital was rubbish :( Being given lots of formula bottles for topping up by the staff is not good, and top ups of 150 mls at a time are not good, either :(

It's frequency of feeding that drives intake and supply; 12 feeds in 24 hours of 30 mins is far better than 6 feeds of an hour. The shield you were given may be making your supply/intake issues worse, and while shields are sometimes a useful tool, using them for more than just a very short time can cause problems.

The good news is that your difficulties have been largely caused by mismanagement, so when you get your management right, you and your baby can turn a corner :)

Original poster
Umlauf · 15/10/2013 10:01

I'm on my phone so will write properly later but he has gained 200g so is above birth weight! I cried with relief in doctor. Somethings working!!

OP posts:
tiktok · 15/10/2013 10:33

Brilliant :)

It should be now possible to work out a plan to dump the expressing and formula and start to enjoy the convenience of bf :)

Original poster
Umlauf · 15/10/2013 10:48

Yes the doctor told me now he is gaining to try not to use the bottle at all, we have another weigh in next week to check he is getting enough that way, but I'm feeling much more positive!

OP posts:
hellymelly · 15/10/2013 10:51

glad he is getting fatter now! My dd wasn't back to her birth weight until she was 3 weeks old, she had a slight tongue tie, has he been checked for this? Also nipple shields affect your supply so try and ditch them asap. I used them for a while when it hurt too much to feed without them, but dd only really started putting on weight when I stopped using them. Agree with prior poster who said it takes a good 6 weeks to get things on an even keel, that was true for me the first time. Congratulations on your baby by the way!

atomicyoghurt · 15/10/2013 12:06

So pleased about the weight gain! Congratulations!

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