6 month old feeding every 1-2 hours at night...

[OnionRing]

DD2 is 26 weeks and has been breastfed since birth although the past two weeks I have tried to give her the occasional bottle of formula as she has dropped off her growth curve. She is not keen on formula at all and hardly takes any.

At night we bed share (but I plan to stop soon) and over the past few weeks she has gone from one feed at 3am to feeding every 1 to 2 hours all night. I never get more than an hours sleep at a time and am on my knees with exhaustion. She is very distractable while feeding in the day and only has three feeds 9am, 12pm and 3pm and they are not that long. I started weaning her a couple of weeks ago so she has some solids but not much.

I am coming under pressure from DH, family and the HVs to Do Something but I don't know what to do. They say give her formula, stop bed sharing and leave her to cry. None of which I am managing to do as I'm so tired I take the option which allows me the most sleep.

I need her to go longer between feeds at night before I go mad. Any ideas welcome! Particularly how you can promote mixed feeding.

Hiya!

Sorry not tried mixed feeding, and I'd be wary of it doing things to the supply but that's fine if you want to go down that road particularly at this age. You have done so well already.

I just wanted to suggest a couple of things - probably not much help but anyroad.

I have a 9mo and the waking is kind of random - sometimes he sleeps really well, other nights he seems to have a lot of wind, so he is restless, especially towards morning - also he was unsettled when he was getting his first teeth, so it could well be that.

I also co sleep and can't imagine doing otherwise as you're there immediately with them to sort it out, whatever it is. So no advice on that front except you don't have to stop, you can carry on as long as you wish.

I agree totally on taking the line of least resistance - this is my third child, the other two sleep happily in their own beds, now - it isn't an issue that they will never leave if you let them sleep next to you. I actually think it makes them MORE secure.

Please ignore your family and HV on this - obviously DH should get some input! But still, I don't think any of their suggestions is going to get you a result. It's just a generalised distrust of the natural way of doing things, many cultures (Japan I think is a good one - very modern) co sleep and so on as a way of life. You need backup to make them see sense. Or you can just carry on as you are.

Good luck and don't worry, your ideas are right, as far as I can see, and they are just panicking because they know there is an alternative, (and think it might stop all the issues) but the problem is, it isn't a better one - this is just what babies DO and it doesn't mean you're getting it wrong.

It is v hard going against your family, I know.

Oh and if she is not gaining weight it is possible she is hungry - you should keep feeding her as much as possible, if it's a growth spurt then she'll try and establish greater supply by sucking more. Maybe this is what she is doing.

I breastfed my middle one almost entirely till he was about 15 months as he had so little in the way of actual food! Then carried on BF till he went to school...obviously with food as well but he still preferred milk to anything else.

So it is possible to nourish a child with just breastmilk, if you go with the flow. Please don't worry that it isn't enough.

I agree with pato. Hv are terrible IME. They have a very basic understanding of bf (I feel I am being generous there). Babies can drop off their growth curve when weaning. I think I was feeding hourly at that age and co-sleeping. I didn't want to, but you have to do whatever gets you some sleep. Maybe try and improve the day feeds by finding a quiet place where possible. Offer more feeds if you can. Otherwise babies feed best at night, so carry on as you are. Its hard but it does end.

Hi and thanks, I am feeding on demand as much as I feasibly can but do have DD1 to see to too. I am beginning to think she's hungry as either I'm not producing enough milk or she's not feeding effectively with all this 'snack' feeding. Hence the formula! I'm not that bothered about giving formula now as I have EBF for 6 months but that's irrelevant if she won't take a bottle.

I'm under pressure from both sides, some relatives treat formula like I'm giving her poison and others say get her on a bottle. They can mostly all mind their own business but it adds to the overall stress.

At the moment I'm sterilising bottles, breast feeding, expressing milk and weaning so feel like it's the worst of all worlds. Plus, no effing sleep. DD1 was very different so I feel like I'm floundering.

Would she eat porridge made with formula or bm. I have heard people say that helps before bed. Not something I did, but worth a try maybe

Have you considered a tippee cup with milk in? DD us same age and will take a tippee cup but not a bottle. Alternatively a doily cup?

What's in her food she is getting? Have you thought about adding full fat things like cheese and butter to up their calorie intake as veg or fruit are relatively low in calories compared to milk?

Is there anyone who could take your eldest during a day so you can just spend a little time focusing on your baby? Maybe feed her when she asks and just enjoy her a bit as this kind of thing can really drain you emotionally as well as physically?

And how long has she been "dropping off the chart"? It may only be a short term thing as she goes through a growth spurt and waits for your milk to increase.

Sorry for all the questions. Hang in there it will most likely blow over and pass. These things tend to buy are horrible to be in the middle of. Oh - and give your DH a talking to from mumsnet to be a shade more supportive of you as it sounds like you need that support as much as anything else.

Oh and don't feel a failure if you have to pop your eldest in front of the TV so you can have a go at gettin the feeds a bit calmer. We have all done it and our children have lived to tell the tale relatively unscathed.

Patilla thanks. DD1 is at school now so the baby has my undivided attention all day and can feed whenever she likes. That's a good idea about fattening up her purées though. I can add cheese etc to them.
I've tried formula in a tommy tippee with no success but will perhaps try that again.

Oh and her weight has been dropping off for six weeks now. They've got me back at the clinic every fortnight to weigh her and give me a load of conflicting advice!

Sorry for the delay in responding my battery ran out.

It's hard with this constant pressure on you. I had something similar but not as ba with DS and I have seen friends have to get their baby weighed every week. The pressure on you becomes immense and almost unbearable. It makes meal times and feed times a point of stress which achieves nothing.

At home I think the best you can do is to try to relax around feeds and fatten up her purees as much as possible. Salmon is quite fatty and purees down nicely especially if steamed. I'd avoid pouches as they often have fruit as the first ingredient even if they are sold as a savoury meal.

Without wanting to make things too sweet you could add custard to fruits now and then too? DS used to like a puréed version of rice pudding that I made with coconut milk which is super fattening!!

In terms of any clinics is it worth trying to put your foot down and say I'm getting conflicting advice here and need one person to be the key person so we can come up with a joined up plan as its not helping me or my baby?

Hold on in there. After a while they will probably naturally relax as she gets older.

I know it sounds silly by the way but DD loves the radio on at meal times and will eat lots more as she doesn't get bored! I've also found that she likes her lunch a lot earlier than I expect and leaving her too late makes her tired and she eats less so for whatever meal you're doing the more fattening options you might find a greater success by shifting times around.

It partly takes time for them to get their head around food but I was convinced that after her lunch nap would be the best time but she takes very little if I feed her then. Our optimal time has turned out to be between 11 and 11.30 and she will then go straight to her nap, ideally after a milk feed too but not always.

Hope this advice helps and sorry to warble on.

You seem to be getting some very odd advice. I'm not surprised you're confused.

It's recommended to get baby weighed every 8 weeks once they are older than 6 months. This is because weight can fluctuate wildly when introducing solids and weighing too frequently can cause unnecessary concern. This is explained in the red book - point it out to your health visitor.

It really is true that every baby is different and it seems that you're being advised to go against your instincts.

I think it's possible that your baby is having a developmental leap - unsettled periods like this often lead to a massive growth spurt, a new skill (sitting, crawling, standing...) or a cold.

patilla thanks. Coincidentally I gave her a ready made Heinz fruity custard for her pudding last night and she loved it. I've grated cheese into her veg purées today and even some cream. I don't tend to buy ready made stuff but thought I'd try the custards, we'll be sticking with them!

She's changing her nap routine as well at the moment and I gave her lunch at 11 today as we'd been up since 6. She had a big sleep and a big breast feed this afternoon which cheered me up. She's really active and alert, happy and noisy so I'm not worried about her in herself. I just wish she'd sleep for longer periods. She's just fed to sleep now so I'm trying to put her down next to me so I can perhaps get an hour in now.

nance thanks also, I didn't know that. It's as if they've got me under surveillance now! I said to them last time that all the time I had to wait to be seen in clinic I could be at home feeding her quietly (she'll not feed in a busy waiting room) so to be fair to them they've put me on home visits now.

I can't help thinking that someone else would benefit more from these visits. I'm a walking middle class cliche and I'm sure there must be more people in need of 'support' than me.