Scared of breastfeeding in public

[Sarah141]

I am worried about breastfeeding in public. Even though it is the most natural thing in the world the public forget that. Any advice anyone??

How old is your baby?

Are there any BF groups near you? That can be a nice way to try breastfeeding in public, but in a safe environment. Alternatively, try feeding at other people's houses?

I think the public generally are not interested in whether anyone is breastfeeding, not least as they generally can't tell unless they have a really serious peer at you! But feeling self-conscious is normal.

Don't be scared, but it's normal to feel a bit apprehensive. I found once we'd got the hang of bf and - crucially - DS could latch himself on I could bf basically sticking him up my top and no one could see a thing. But it took a while to get to that point, and until I got a reliable latch withoutnfaffing about I didn't feed in public beyond other people's houses etc.

It will get easier. like lots of things, the first time is the hardest

I was self conscious with DD1 because she wasn't fond of BFing and squirmed, kicked and cried. I gave up in the end, but the few times I did feed her in public I did try and find a quiet corner.

DD2 was a dream, she just feed, no one ever said a nasty word all I ever got were smiles. She's even been fed in the middle of M&S sitting on a display plinth. I forgot that one didn't have a cafe and she was about to scream the place down.

I've fed her in church several times including at a funeral. We were right at the back and the widow had young DCs, Dh had watched her BF not that many years before.

Most of alll she fed at the swimming pool watching DD1. Since she feed every monday without fail no one really realised she had been doing so for well over a year and was now able to walk.

That was pretty much it for public feeding she got too long and she wanted to play with the other toddlers watching at the pool.

Don't rush into it.

Make sure you are completely confident with feeding at home first before you do it in public.

Make sure you wear a big t-shirt/ jumper that you can easily lift up and hide baby under. Purists will no doubt say that you shouldn't have to hide the fact that you are feeding your baby, but that can always come later once you have gained some confidence.

Oh I was you three months ago and now I'm so blasé about it! Things that gave me confidence were taking someone with me as a human shield so I wasn't alone, the first time it was a friend who had BF in the past and I also bought a breastfeeding cardigan from Jojo Maman Bebe that covers up everything. I also found Costa/Starbucks really Bf friendly. Also remember you have a legal right to feed your child anywhere you are legally entitled to be and anyone who asks you to leave is breaking the law under the 2010 equalities act. No one has so much as blinked at me let alone asked me to leave but I still like to remember it!
You will be fine!

I was nervous too. My first time was out at lunch, locally with DH in a child friendly pub. They sat us in a quiet corner and it was great as it felt really unthreatening. Can you engineer a similar situation where you feel as comfortable as possible to get you over that first time hurdle? I still don't love bf'ing in public tbh, but I've got the hang of it now and feel more confident doing it wherever I need to and have had absolutely no funny looks or negative comments from anyone. Good luck!

Yes to taking Dh or a friend, it is nice to tuck your self in a corner and stick someones large back between you and the room.

Some people find the 2 tops method gives confidence.

Sorry if I'm telling you how to suck eggs, but its the 'pull one top up and the other down' trick, creating a slit for the areola/nipple and not an awful lot else. Really discrete and worth testing out at home so you can satisfy yourself that no one would see anything once you're latched.

As for the latching on - it it bothers you, maybe find a quiet corner for the first few times, and turn your body away from sight the swizzle back round once baby is on.

Is it fear other other people's views or has someone upset you over it?

I have used a 'modesty poncho' (Bebe au Lait) which helped in the early days, although I did get a bit hot and bothered trying to peer down the apron whilst trying to get DD latched on.
I have fed in pubs, restaurants, the corner of the school playground, park benches etc. DD is 8 weeks. I just made myself get out there and do it before it became an issue. I have big boobs that I've always been embarrassed about. Think stretch marks, huge brown aureole the size of dinner plates etc.
FWIW I like wearing a big jumper with a feeding vest underneath. This makes me feel less exposed. I'm proud and confident to breastfeed but not about my boobs!

Try feeding in front of a full length mirror. You'll see exactly what other people see (almost nothing). You can knot the corner of a large muslin over your bra strap for extra coverage.

Every mum is different, and what you're feeling is very normal. I didn't care about feeding in public, but I felt self conscious around people I knew.

By 3 months I was standing at a bar with DS latched on, ordering a pint of Guinness. It gets easier.

Most towns have family rooms and baby feeding rooms (John Lewis ones are lovely, Boots, Mothercare, Debenhams usually have them). You can plan your route round town to find these "safe places" if that is more comfortable for you.

Hi, my DD is almost 6 months. I have always had a massive problem with BF in public- it has got better with time though but I still hate it, especially when out on my own. However I flatly refuse to be a prisoner in my own home or give up BF. I may be unpopular for saying this but I find the only way when going solo is to find a private place, although it can be really awful and quite degrading to have to use a public lav. I get really het up about the lack of facilities in most places where you think for goodness sake all it takes is for them to put a chair in the huge cavernous baby changing room! And the amount of disabled facilities where for some inexplicable reason they have taken away the toilet seat cover/lid! Why why why?? Anyway, just thought I'd share I've recently started thinking about using changing rooms in larger stores, ones where they might have a larger disabled facility where you'd be able to fit the pram in too, plus with a larger throughput they wouldn't necessarily notice you'd been in there 30 mins "trying on" two garments lol! Hope this helps. Any more tips would be appreciated

I agree about being more self conscious in front of family - especially FIL, it just felt weird.
I've never had any problems in costa/Starbucks. Although it can get expensive having to go in there every time. I think it's going to be necessary now winter's on its way, though.
Mothercare is the best, I've found. And the new m+s's. I guess it's a sign that they're supporting bf'ing more nowadays.
Mostly it's the two tops method, however I often have my ds in a baby carrier where if I undo one side and lean him over I've found I can feed him whilst he's sat in it.
Wrap a blanket over my shoulder and I can feed walking around and no one can tell. Helps having squidgy boobs.

I was exactly the same but then I got fed up of not going anywhere. I've given up with nursing bras- I wear those stretchy comfort bras and whip everything up which is quicker & means I feel less exposed. Stretchy tops and waterfall cardigans are also good as you can drape the cardy. Also, I often wear my over the bump maternity jeans when out as they hide my tummy. It is scary at first but you soon get fed up of hiding away too. I live in Worcestershire and a lot of cafés etc display a sticker in their window to show they welcome breastfeeding; might be worth seeing if there is something similar by you. I also take a large muslin and wrap one corner around my bra strap & drape (but often can't even be arsed to do this & I'm not die hard lol). For what it's worth, I constantly get people talking to me thinking the baby is just asleep/cuddling so it must be discreet. Don't worry, Breastfeeding is your personal journey and it's ok to want to feed privately or in public depending on your comfort. I had to feed in front of my best mates grandad yesterday, that was weird lol!

Places like Boots, Ikea John Lewis, M&S, some shopping centres (like gunwharf quays in Portsmouth) have comfy feeding areas sometimes in the nappy room but often not smelly which are private. I found it easier to go there in the earlier days.