I really wanted to breast feed this baby but I've realised I'm scared to actually do it. I've still got ages to go but need to start sorting this.....

[LadyTophamHatt]

All 3 Ds's were bottle fed. I tried to breast feed each time but just could do it.

I need to be able to do it straight away(ok not literally, I know it takes time to perfect) when this one is born but I know the same things will happen.

Baby won't be able to latch on because
a)my nipples aren't sticky outy enough.
b)the pain of milk coming in is, for me 100 times worse than labour. I just can't get through that pain.

I think my problem is partly physical but partly mental.
I know how to bottle feed and do all the crap that goes with it so I can feel myslef leaning towrds that again. It's easy to bottle feed when you've done it before
The physical is hard to describe and if I ever meet more of you face to face you'll all have images of my boobs and nipples floating around you head after this detailed description

My nipples aren't inverted as per the text book but they are flat alot of the time. The areola(sp?) is really big around the actual nipple so I've always struggled with latching on.
When the milk comes in by boobs take on a very strange shape. It looks like I've had a boob job(as with every woman at this stage) but the implants have gone hard and teh nipple stems aren't long enough to reach from inside to out. It's like they are totally flat all over, not just the areola...the whole boob and the areola is slight concave in the centre. With Ds3 they were almost square...honestly even Dh mentioned it!!!!!
I'm sure thsi is what causes the agony, my boobs gets big and with the nipple stem being short it causes agonising pain because they're heaving against each other.
Does that make any sense?? could that be right or am I just talking crap. It certainly looks like this is waht happens.

Anyway...how can I get around the square boobs and concave nips thing?

I know it's along way off yet but now that I've finally reached the 2nd trimester I feel like i can finally tackle this.

(excuse the typos...I'm sure there are plenty but you know me)

I'm sure loads more experienced people will reply but the first thing that came into my head was to ask for a breast feeding counsellor or contact La Leche Leage as soon as you give birth. Our hospital offers breastfeeding workshops for pregnant women so that might be worth investigating

I would definitely find yourself a lactation consultant before the birth. See if you can find someone now, and talk through the problem with her, then get her to come as soon as the baby is born.

It is not cheap to employ a professional, but think of all the money you could save by not buying formula.

also I've heard midwife led units or birthing centres have staff who have more time to help with latching on etc than standard maternity units but don't know how true that is...

Yes, get in touch with your hospital's bf counsellor now and there are probably workshops you can go to before you have the baby, plus you can talk your worries over with her. and have you thought about eomploying a lactation consultant like Franny says? or a doula (which is what I did as I had exactly the same fears as you after dd couldn't latch on). also, and I'm not sure if this is advisable when pg, but could you get used to a pump that'd pull your nipples out so they're more 'latchable'?

btw - I am still feeding ds (my second baby) at 21 months after a disastrous attempt with dd, so it can be done. good luck. D x

I agree with franny.
If it were me and I felt as you do, I would contact NCT or ABm before the birth. you could even do it by email and describe it just as you have described it to us and they might have some suggestions or suggest someone for you to get in touch with.

Are you planning to give birth in hospital or at home? If hospital, what is the breatsfeeding support like there? How supportive is your midwofe/HV>

search for a lactation consultant....

is this any help?

Having this one at home again. Igave my MW a shorted version of what I've told you all and she said they have got a MF who is a BF councillor in their team so she said I could speak to her.

I spoke to Dh about it too and I have to say he wasn't too helpful...."Hmmm, you won't be able to breast feed this one either so just bottle feed it"
Thanskyou for the support DH.

LTH - I mized fed ds1 from 3 days old for a variety of reasons and by abotu 12 weeks he was fully bottle fed.

I was adamant that I would banish my demons second time round and I was going to breatsfeed (stubbborn taurean)
I didnthave the difficultes that you had but it can be done - ds2 is 16 months and still going strong!

some more info

LTH - if this is something you really want to be able to do (and it sounds like it is) there is plenty of help out there to hopefully provide some advice and give you the support you need to look forward to the opportunity when it arrives. I appreciate you probably didn't get the answer you were looking for from your dh but I am sure that some of the recommendations the other posts have suggested will be able to help - good luck with it

LTH I really really wish you luck.Follow up advice on here and remember that we area all here too,as and when you need us.

The good thing is that after having three babies,the emotional shock of being a mother should be minimal,leaving you with more time and energy to concentrate on the b/feeding.

Ignore your dh,I suppose in his own way he is trying to save you grieve.

Fingers crossed. XXXXX

No expert advice on this I'm afraid, but just wanted to say good luck with it

Sorry LTH - but square boobs?!! Surely not!

No help at all on the bf front - I 'couldn't' do it either but really hope you get some good advice if you really want to do it.

Difficult to know if my "presentation" is really the same as yours, but I am small-breasted and (particularly) small-flat-nippled - for poor newborn ds it was like trying to latch onto the palm of a hand. So, though I know they're frowned on by some, in retrospect I'm really grateful for the hospital midwife who said that for me breastfeeding just wasn't going to get going without nipple shields, which among other things give the baby's mouth the kind of instinctive shape to get hold of. Consequence was I breastfed ds, and dd later, very satisfactorily for five months each. I would recommend you take some into hospital with you, just so you have the option.

No advice to match that already given. Just wanted to say well done for not wanting to give in, think that's great. You can but try and don't whatever you do beat yourself up if after your attempts it's just too stressful. And don't be cross with DH, he's just beng laid back and wants what is best for you and doesn't mind what you do, don't be cross with him. We'll all support you and he won't make you feel bad, it's a win win situation, don't worry hon'. You're going to give this your best shot and hopefully it'll work out, if it doesn't - no harm done aye.