back to breast after 5 weeks.. think we're doing it wrong! Advice please..

[cakebaby]

hello,
this is the 3rd time I have typed this due to shit laptop, so please bear with the abbreviated typing! DS born 5 weeks ago, emcs under GA after 24 hrs of back to back hell. BF never very successful in hospital, 'help' was a shield and numerous people ramming his screaming face at my boob. Very sleepy CS baby, readmitted to hospital for severe weight loss after one week due to sporadic latch and me not really knowing what I was doing & being slightly deranged after traumatic birth. Tongue tie diagnosed after I made a scene about them refusing to check for it & me demanding an explanation re feeding problems and heart shaped tongue. Offered apt for assessment which was too much of a wait, stated we would sort it privately. Discharged from hospital after being checked out, fed expressed bm & ff top ups.

Tongue tie snipped, latch much better, much cranial osteopathy to sort soreness after birth trauma. I continued to express and offer boob, to no avail. Regained lost weight after 1 week, then gained another lb week after, suspect he's gained another 1lb in the last week, proper little chunk now! (gets weighed on Tues). Still offered boob, DS decided to give it another go 4 days ago, still using a shield and has not stopped since. Can't feed on one side yet, the side that was sore after the birth, but we're still trying. Aim to get rid of shield too, but no success yet.

We're still novices at this, it's been such a difficult journey so far, so can I please ask....

I seem to have loads of milk, rock hard boobs, apparently satisfied milk shake baby. He'll let me know if he's not getting enough, right? He certainly did when he was being ff bottles.

We both always end up covered in milk at feeding, I use a muslin to stop is drowning. Should I be expressing some of it before/after? This morning I think the let down was fast as he was a bit spluttery, but sorted himself out. I'm expressing the boob he won't go on.

He will stay latched for literally HOURS if I let him - I have done, mainly due to the fact it's taken me weeks to convince him boob is a nice place to be (help from kellymom pages). Once we got the latch I didn't want it going again! How do I know if he is using me as a dummy or just staying on for comfort rather than efficiently feeding? He will suck fast when first latched for a few minutes, then slower (understand this is what he should be doing) with pauses for anything from 5 mins to 30 mins before apparently nodding off, with the occasional prompted sucks. If I think he's done, as soon as I try to move him he gives a little shriek of objection and starts off again.

Today he has fed about 5 times already, I have managed to get him into his basket for naps which lasts about 20 mins before we go again. Normal? Growth spurt? Am I making a rod for my back by picking him up each time and plonking him back on the boob?

God it's been so difficult, how the hell have the human race survived for so long?! Going for RL help at a bf group tomorrow, but any advice in meantime appreciated!

Sorry its so long, didn't want to drip feed.

cake - what a story and what determination :)

Please, please forget about 'rod for own back', 'just for comfort' and any other related bollocks :) :)

What on earth is the harm in picking up a 5 week old baby when he needs you? You are teaching him that he is loved, that his needs are important, and that when he is lonely/frightened/frustated or whatever, he will be sorted out. A baby who has had some 'inteference' eg head ramming and a repeat stay in hospital may well need reassurance and closeness and a baby who needs to build up a milk supply may well need frequent feeding...and the 'just for comfort' feeds are important, too.

I think you know all that.

I think you are listening to voices in your head or other voices that are making you doubt your understanding :(

Speak to people at the bf group, and continue to feed your little boy and to give him this lovely experience which he so clearly relishes :)

This level of intensity will not last - and you will get better at knowing when you can de-latch him when he has been on for hours. But at the moment, you are engaged in 'repair work' and doing it just beautifully from the sound of it.

Thank you tiktok I hoped you'd be around today and I agree with the 'repair' aspect.

It's been a damned hard road to get where we are now, I can assure you of that! If I was not so bloody minded I would have given up by now, but the lactation consultant who did his TT said many babies with a shaky start will just 'get it' at about 4-5 weeks so I just kept going to see if he was one of them...and seems he is [proud emoticon!] Maybe it will give others in a similar situation some hope too?

I actually love the fact he wants to stay put for a while, murmuring away, even the constant baby farts and snores are cute!

:) :)

So where has rod-for-back come from, then?? You gonna ignore it, I'm sure!

Great advice from tiktok, however 5-6 weeks for babies to get bf after a shakey start is, in my opinion, optimistic. Keep doing what your doing and gradually think about removing the shield periodically and gradually but don't set yourself a target as failing too achieve it won't make you feel better, particularly when you have done spectacularly so far. A massive well done to you & congratulations on your little one
:-)

Yep, sure am! Along with all the other 'useful' shite that's been spouted at me in the last 5 weeks. Honestly, everyone is suddenly an expert giving unsolicited advice when I've been slightly bonkers a bit vulnerable through a less than perfect birth experience & sleep deprivation.

Whoops xpost! Thanks kd I'm just happy we're doing it at all, given he just shut down when offered boob after our hospital experience (even if we're not exactly text book!)

This is dc1...there will never be a dc2!... it's difficult not to doubt myself when this is all new to me and those dishing out opinions already have dc. ALL have looked at me like this and when they find out PFB has been velcro'd to boob for hours & not packed off to a room with a blackout blind & retrieved every 4 hours for a 15 min feed!

Sorry to bump this, ds still Velcro'd to boob now shifted the late afternoon & all eve apart from an hour when we go for a walk. He's put on a pound in 12 days, the last 6 of which have been pretty much exclusively bf so something going ok!

Any tips in how to look after my back whilst seated for hours on end? Have had back issues in past and feeling little electric tinglings in small of back to side on last 24 hrs. Trying to sit straight & supported but sheer time being inactive taking its toll.

Lovely as it is, hopefully this won't last too long!

Has your osteopath treated you for back to back labour, help with feeding on the other side and given you advice re feeding postures?

Hi misty osteopath has only treated ds. Maybe I should book an appt too!

Hi cakebaby, well done, sounds like you're doing an amazing job after the start you two had.

Re back ache, I found a breast feeding pillow such as this one with a built-in back support to be a big help. Sorry it's ££ - maybe you could position some small pillows instead?

Also, remember you can take painkillers (my GP okayed paracetamol and low dose ibuprofen), and get yourself a hot bath when you can have one (I would hand DS1 over to DH midway marathon evening cluster feeding began).

Thanks high , yes I have that exact pillow but ds cannot get comfy and settled on it, he's still not quite over the birth and struggles to settle in any position other than on his back. He lies on my lap and fidgets til he gets it right. We have a comIt's much better than it was and he has another osteopath appt in a few weeks to reassess so I'll grin & bear it til then with baths, walks and paracetamol!

Whoops, middle bit should be...we have a com

ARRRGGGGHHHH stupid phone!

....a complicated combination of pillows, cushions and footstool to get settled. He's currently snoring his head off

Sweet, glad to hear about snoring. ' lying now just listening to DH at it! Good luck with cranial osteopath - we didn't try that but have heard some really positive reports from other mums.

Hello hi things have settled down here thank goodness. He's now taking proper feeds with naps between, albeit short ones! Every new thing is throwing me at the moment, find it difficult to be confident he's getting enough etc but trying to chill out and go with it, led by him. Glad one of us knows what's going on !