Have I screwed up feeding by attempting to give bottle and breast? (5 weeks)

[MeanMrsMustard]

Dd is 5 weeks. I've had problems breast feeding. Short version is continual infections, being admitted back to hospital twice, fevers so bad I am barely able to look after dd, massive pain and increasingly neurotic and obsessive behaviour on my behalf relating to her feeding. I decided last week (whilst with a temp of 40) I couldn't bare it anymore so decided to switch to formula, with ebm when possible.
Dd took to bottle fine - she's had expressed milk quite a bit so that was good.
I felt incredibly sad about not breast feeding her so tried giving her 1 or 2 comfort feeds a day. I'm not sure how much milk she's getting from these feeds, and she tends to fall asleep, but it felt lovely to have just a bit of that breastfeeding connection.

Now a week on I'm wondering if I'm doing it for the right reasons. Dd seems to be fussing at both the breast and bottle today. I'm worried I'm stressing her out. Also, she's just at the point where she's starting to smile, but the smiles I'm getting seem to be related to my breasts, so I worry she's unhappy the rest of the time.
Have i screwed everything up? Can mixed feeding work in the long run or not? And if so, are there any rules I need to be following? I would rather dd be happy on a bottle than confused on both and that's the way it's looking right now. What might be the best way of sorting it out?

Thanks

So sorry you've had such a tough time,

Don't think you have screwed anything up and don't see why you can't continue mixed feeding. I know lots of people who have done it successfully long term.

In the LLL b 8 weeks babies smiles are mostly just comfort/sensory related so it is really normal that she smiles at your breasts (and really sweet!) but definitely doesn't mean she is unhappy having a bottle or the rest of the time.

5/6 weeks is when there is a big growth spurt so that could be why she's unsettled.

Would you be able to call a breastfeeding helpline and speak to them about mixed feeding? May help to talk everything through and they maybe able to advise on avoiding infection etc. as well.

Sorry that was supposed to read 'in the LLL book it says'
Fat fingers.

MMM, you have had a really difficult start :(

Listen to Gunpowder about the smiling. A lack of smiling does not mean 'unhappy' any more than a lack of smiling in anyone else means 'unhappy' and no one smiles all the time :)

If you can, think of ways to give a bottle that make it more like bf - so you can be skin to skin, you can be responsive, you can avoid insisting she has more than she cues that she needs, and so on. No reason why bottle feeding should be any less 'connected' than bf, though of course bf makes it easier 'cos of the way you would normally do it.

Mixed feeding can be hard to 'get right' in that breastmilk decreases as formula increases, and at 5 weeks, most women need frequent breastfeeding to maintain a supply, so you do risk breastfeeding disappearing before you planned on it disappearing, simply because of this biological fact.

However, whatever you decide to do, you can still put your baby to the breast for comfort if she is happy doing so - you might find that it is easier for her to enjoy this if she is not hungry at the time, so she won't get cross at the lack of supply.

It might help to talk over the pros and cons in real life with a counsellor on any of the bf helplines. Your options are numerous :)

Don't panic! I did it too; works really well for letting you get some sleep, too. Just keep breastfeeding when possible to keep the supply going.

Thanks for the lovely replies. I'm feelings bit low so it means so much.
My milk supply is definitely slowing. This threw me a bit at the start as I managed to keep it high for 5 days in hospital (3 of which mainly without dd) by expressing. This time 24 hrs without feeding dd was pretty much enough to stop production. Every time I express I end up with less and less. I guess this is what's going to determine the success of dual feeding. I feel guilty as I made what turned out to be a badly chosen decision whilst fevered and desperate.

If I let her suckle on my breasts as much as possible will that help increase my supply or an I past that?

"If I let her suckle on my breasts as much as possible will that help increase my supply?"

YES!

That's how it works :)

Please call one of the bf helplines and get a plan - it will help.

We've been mixed feeding from pretty much day 1 (DD now 8 months) due to initial problems - though nothing compared to yours, you've done amazingly well to keep BFat all with everything else you've had to deal with.

Just keep offering her the breast first for feeds. Your supply should catch up and I would second going to abreastfeeding cafe/contacting LLL for some more support. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty - you did the most important thing for your baby which was to look after her & nourish her through a difficult time, better that than having an underweight, jaundiced, hungry DD! Good luck with everything.

Thanks. I'm losing confidence in what I know...
Dd is 'requesting' to go on the breast, but mainly seems to be playing rather than feeding. I will persevere! The next local breastfeeding clinic is Wednesday so I'll go there, and I'll ring up a help line tomorrow. Wednesday morning I've scheduled a morning in bed -skin to skin feeding and a film.

I've just been pumping whilst she sleeps and getting more milk out today than yesterday. (Lh side better than Rh).

I had to see my health visitor today and and she mentioned a pill that my dr could prescribe to help production. Any experience of this?

Right dd snuffling. Must get ready for whiching hour(s)!

Don't lose confidence! Sounds like you are doing so well.

Tiktok/anyone please correct me if I'm wrong but from what I have read, playing on/requesting the breast for comfort is a really good sign and often precedes actively feeding.

Skin to skin and a film sounds like a brilliant idea, as does calling the helpline. Hopefully then you can make a plan!

No experience of galactagogues here, but hopefully someone will come along or maybe the bf counsellor you speak to could help with this.

All the best to you and your DD.

My breastfeeding clinic specialists recommend domperidone. I just started taking it, so can't yet comment on the effectiveness.
Asking my gp, he hadn't heard of its use relating to breastfeeding (it's primarily for reflux) and tried to scare me saying it will pass to the baby making him drowsy and basically said 'on my own head be it.' He prescribed it begrudgingly.
But the national breastfeeding network quotes the dose that passes to the baby as in the micrograms and not contraindicated if you take total 30mg a day.
IMO worth a try at least.
Good luck.

Please remember the amount you can express is not a good judge of how much you produce. I never got more than an ounce or two when expressing. Baby is more more efficient at getting it out!

Hi
I have experienced a very similar story to you but my DS is 6 weeks old so I am 1 week ahead of you!
Insist on Domperidone, it really works! I had a very unsympathetic GP who flat out right refused to prescribe it "as it is not licensed for BF" I cried and wouldn't leave the surgery until she gave it to me!
It will kick start your supply and take the pressure off of you when you sit there expressing looking at the drips and praying for more milk!
I really hope it works out and enjoy your DD