Feeding small baby while waiting for tongue tie snip - will I ever get him on the breast?

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DS is a week old, had growth restriction and was slightly premature. He weighs 4lb14 and has a tongue tie which is being looked at on the 16th. Feels like a very long way away! He is a sleepy baby and we are generally having to wake him to feed every 3 hours.
I try him at the breast every feed and he can latch (though not well) and may suck a few times but then stops. I haven't heard him gulp so I don't think he's taking anything in. After that DH or I give him expressed milk and he now has that in a bottle (was using a cup before). I tried breast shields for the first time today and we seemed to have some luck with those.

All the things we are doing now are the things I had previously been told never to do for fear of ruining breastfeeding, but it seems to be the only option for getting milk in him. My biggest worry is that it's just so much easier for him on the bottle/shield that he won't ever take to the breast. Any words of wisdom or reassurance, please?

Is there any way you can bring the appointment for the tongue tie snip forward? When my DD2 was having trouble feeding with her tongue tie, the HV managed to get me the phone number for the midwife who did the tongue-tie snip and she told me to bring her in that afternoon.

In the meantime, I think you're doing really well with the nipple shields and expressing. Maybe you could persevere with the latch after you know that he's had some expressed milk or something?

Oh, you have my sympathy, I have been where you are. dd was born 6 weeks early, same weight as your DS, also very sleepy and had to be woken every 3 hours to feed. she also had TT which we didn't discover till much later.

I actually managed to feed dd enough just through BFing even with her tiny little sleepy feeds. This really surprised me and it was incredibly stressful trying to persuade her to feed (had to strip her naked etc) but it did work. We weighed her every day (kitchen scales) to check she was gaining weight. at this size and age they don't actually need much. Also I had massive milk supply after weeks on the hospital pumps so I guess it was easier for her to get enough.

a few questions:

is he gaining weight? plenty of wet and dirty nappies?

I found that dd "woke up" and fed more proactively about a week after her due date - have you reached that point yet?

how is your milk supply?

oh, I also agree re speeding up TT snip if you possibly can - it would have helped dd so much I think if she'd had it snipped earlier. are you based in London/SE?

Thank you both, I appreciate the replies. I have tried the speed the referral up with no luck, we also looked into doing it privately but couldn't find anyone local enough (S.West England). I have emailed a couple of breastfeeding counsellors so hoping to get some help in the interim from one of them.

minipie your situations sounds very similar! I'm so pleased you managed to feed her enough through bf-ing. I have tons of milk too thanks to the hospital pumps! I am trying to reduce the supply slightly at the moment.

Yes lots of wet and dirty nappies but I'm not sure about weight, I think we might try him on the scales, that would be reassuring. I think the bottle feeding is reassuring because we know he'll get x ml per day, and I'm trying to balance getting him bf-in with ensuring adequate milk intake

He's a few weeks off his due date, so that's good to hear he may turn a corner then.

working don't give up, my ds is currently attached to me and is a greedy, chubby 5 week old boob monster. He had a tongue tie diagnosed at 6 days, snipped privately at 9 (wait too long on NHS), 3 weeks of cranial osteopathy after traumatic birth during which he was bottle fed expressed bm & ff top ups.

At 4 weeks after loads of skin to skin & encouragement he latched with a shield like he'd always done it! I was gobsmacked as we'd had such horrific problems before. Not been off since, it can be done! Have a look at kellymom site, back to breast pages very, very helpful. Don't give up if its what you want to achieve.

Cakebaby, thank you It sounds like we had similar early experiences - difficult birth and ff top ups to start.
It's encouraging that you've now got a milk monster - I feel like DS Is just so unhappy at the breast at the moment because any effort doesn't pay off and knackers him out.
I have someone coming to do some cranial tomorrow, but am going to wait for my NHS referral as the person seems to be highly though of.
Can I ask, do you feed just with a shield now? How do you find it? Does your DS get enough through it?

I'm off to have a look at the kellymom site.

Hello, yes we used a shield in hospital as a last resort when he wouldn't latch (COULDN'T due to tongue tie). Trying to wean him off it but no luck yet. Not ideal but at least he's on the boob, we're working on our technique now. Seems to be getting enough but now a Velcro baby as I think he gets great comfort from it as well as a full tummy.

That's really intresting to hear - I only started trying a shield two days ago but DS seemed to get some milk that way, so I think I'll continue to use it. Thanks so much

Ah well if he can bf with a shield that's still a good result, ten days till the TT snip so not long to go (we didn't get DD's diagnosed and snipped till she was 15 weeks old ). Are you off the bottles now? I know what you mean about BF knackering him out though, poor dd was just the same till we had the TT done, so glad you have found it sooner than we did.

are you managing to weigh him at all? this brings back memories of balancing naked dd in a washing up bowl on the kitchen scales not funny at the time mind you but it was very reassuring.

working truth be told I wish I hadn't used the shield as its a PITA and far from ideal but at the time it shaped my nipple for ds and was the only way of getting him latched, if briefly. Now he doesn't recognize a good source unless its silicone covered so shields do have drawbacks too.

FFS auto correct... Good= FOOD!!!

Oh, I had to pull at my nipple before every latch to get it shaped well enough for dd to grab hold of - had forgotten that.

Something that helped us while waiting for TT snip was "brush and flick" - basically you point nipple towards nose, but then instead of waiting for baby to open mouth, you kind of use the side of your boob nearest their chin to press their chin down and their mouth open, then you flick your nipple into their mouth. difficult to describe without pictures but hope you can make some sense of that! this helps get a deeper latch.

Sorry for the delay in replying - long night!
DS really can't seem to latch/suck without the shield and he has taken to the shield well--it just feels good to have him at the breast but I can imagine weaning him off could be really tricky.
I've been expressing a bit before every feed to get my nipple in a good shape and milk flowing so it's less effort for him but no luck.

minipie, I like your description of 'brush and flick' might give that a go with DH's assistance!

Not weighed him yet, that's a task for this morning!!