Tiktok! Help!

[beginnings]

You were so wonderful when I had windy and unsettled DD1.

DD2 just. Won't. Stop. Feeding.

She's 12 days old and I'm all touched out and exhausted. I just need to push on through don't I? Can I start taking her off when I think she must have had enough?? I'm getting worried that she's using me as a dummy as she'll only go to sleep at night when she's feeding.

Can anyone else tell me when this stopped?

By the way, she lost none of her birth weight and has already gained half a pound - so it's bloody working.

Are you eating and drinking enough?

(bump)

Thank you, and yes, eating and drinking a lot!

Oats are good, so porridge for breakfast. With dried fruit and a banana dp brought me that every day for 9 months. While i was grateful for breakfast in bed i put my foot down a month ago and have never been more grateful to see a shreddie

She may be feeding to up your supply, in which case go with it and try stuff like fennel tea. Or she's comfort feeding because she's got tummy ache. As you don't mention other symptoms I'm assuming it's supply.

The feeding frenzy will probably pass... I remember all 3 of mine doing this around the 2wk mark...growth spurt / endless feeding. After which they went VERY sleepy and slept lots / didnt feed so much for 3rd week, and I was left looking like Dolly Parton & in agony as I'd made so much bloomin' milk the week before during said feeding frenzy!
Sorry, not great advice, but hang on in there - I very much doubt you're being used as a dummy (baby too young for that sort of cheeky behaviour!). Just snuggle on down, feed for England, and it'll sort itself out, I promise!

How are your nipples doing? Are you in any discomfort at all?

Is she sleeping on the breast? Can you sleep while she feeds? (lying down, in bed, not on a chair)

Nipples are ok. Still toe curling at latch but not as bad as at the beginning. Fine once she's on.

I can and have been feeding lying down but I don't sleep properly abd frankly just need a bit of space. Last night with a bit of encouragement she did 1 til 445 and then 6 til 7 in the Moses basket. My sister looked after her from 9 until 1130 while DH and I slept so feel a lot more human today.

beginnings, sorry to hear you're having difficulties.

Can you give any of the bf helplines a call? Sometimes, mothers find talking in an actual real life dialogue helps better than a talkboard.

There is nothing wrong with babies sucking for comfort and connection ('using me as a dummy'?? You mean 'using me as a mummy' !!! :) )

The bfc who answers your call will help you work out when you can take the baby off, recognising the signs your baby will tolerate 'removal'....but it is normal for a tiny baby to fall asleep feeding.

She may be happy enough sometimes to be skin to skin with someone else, so that's worth trying.

There's nothing in your post to suggest a problem with supply, and eating and drinking will help your well-being, but the major effect on supply is simply frequent, effective feeding from both breasts rather than any particular food or drink.

Hope today feels better for you.

Thanks so much tiktok. I know what you mean about her using me as a mummy and not a dummy - and of course I want her to be as lovely and confident in her security regarding me as DD1 is. It's just that I'm (again) so afraid of creating bad habits and I've such a need for my own space myself. It's silly - and all about me.

Good suggestion about the BF helplines. I'll try calling the NCT one tomorrow. I've found them a mixture of helpful and not in the past but with a bit of luck I'll get someone good.

She was sitting on one breast for up to an hour - I've tried reducing that to half an hour today and that seems to help. She's unlatching herself more. She's definitely sleepier in the early evenings - I'm about to wake her for a feed - so I'm trying to wake her a bit more in an effort to get her to take her long sleep at night. I think she'd probably sleep from now til midnight and then be up from then!

She will do skin to skin with DH and we've done that a few nights. The hard thing is that he almost needs his sleep more than I do so it ends up with him being less than helpful the following day when I need him.

Last night going to bed really early helped - getting those couple of hours before she came up to me gave me the energy to work on putting her down - and she was perfectly happy once she went. We'll try that again tonight I think.

She won't have the neural development in place to form bad habits for months yet

I know :) intellectually I know. But the control freakery of my mind decides weird things at 4 am.

:o you have two kids and still think you have control?

Pidjin, don't worry. I'm being rapidly disabused of that notion. Bless DH, I'm feeling it today. Not helped by everything taking a bit longer than I would like.

I found it helpful to think of the childcare, cooking and cleaning as separate jobs. If i keep ds safe, warm and fed then I've achieved something - cooking and cleaning on top makes me superwoman!

I found it really helped to use a sling in the day so DC got lots of cuddles (and so didnt demand to be fed every 3 min) but I felt less touched out, so could face an evening feedathon with more positivity. I used a Kari Me wrap sling.

Thanks. I've got a baby Bjorn and she seemed to be ok in that for a bit yesterday which was good. DD1 HATED the thing until she was old enough to look out so I'm hoping very much that DD2 takes to it a bit more.

Also, she seems to like being bounced. A friend is going to lend me one of those swinging chairs and I think she'll like it. Our existing bouncer is better once they're a bit older as they need to be able to bounce it themselves.

A baby bjorn is not a sling it's a torture device! Please get a nice soft stretchy like a Moby, Kari-Me or close caboo; also research the M position for hips and 9 reasons not to carry your baby facing out (blog post by Boba)