Expressing?

[FredFlintstonesSister]

I'm currently only 20 weeks pregnant with my first but would like some advice on expressing milk. My husband is really keen to get as involved in fatherhood as possible and the idea that he might not get to feed our baby until 6 months seems really strange to both of us. I'm considering getting a breast pump but everyone I know has told me not to bother. My sister thinks I should just breast feed for 6 months and then "let him have a shot" at feeding after that! I find this quite sad but have no experience of my own. Any advice?

It's fine to hand express, and a lot of women find it easier to do so, once they have the knack, so you really don't need a pump. Try hand expressing before you shell out :)

Partners really, really don't need to feed the baby to have a relationship with the baby - there are loads of other things to do and share with the baby. Fathers who don't give a bottle of EBM are no less involved than fathers who do - my dh never did it and he would take exception to the idea that he was somehow left out or less close to the children as a result.

There is nothing wrong with a father doing so, of course, and fine if you both want it! But I have seen expressing (so the dad can feed ) become a bit of a chore. Not everyone finds it easy to express, by hand or pump, and missing a direct feed (because dad is doing the feeding with the ebm) can mean your breasts are uncomfortably full. Having said that, for some couples it's worth it. And it's a useful thing at the times you have to be somewhere without your baby, whether it's your dh or someone else giving the bottle.

You could try it, once you feel confident and relaxed about the whole baby and feeding thing, and see if it works for you - but don't be worried or think you have let anyone down if you feel it's a hassle or you don't have time.

Keep an open mind :)

Thanks. It's difficult to know what to expect when you've never been through it before! Glad to know your DH is hands on and feeding not an issue.

Your DH can be involved in feeding without going near a bottle. A breastfeeding mum needs loads of help and support in the early days - they need to rest, eat well and stay hydrated. He can help you to do all these things. Dads are great at settling a baby after a feed - they can get agitated and confused when they smell mums scent and want to keep feeding - dads can give comfort without feeding which is so useful.

Well meaning relatives and friends can unfortunately be very unsupportive of breastfeeding. A dad who has read up on the benefits for mum and baby and who can vocally support and defend the mother is worth his weight in gold.

Finally, dads are very welcome at breastfeeding drop ins and clinics. Having someone with you in the early days to help with latch and positioning is so very helpful.

Aside from feeding he can get involved in bath time, winding, changing, playing, singing to baby. Your DH will have so many things to bond over.

My dd is 5wks old and I've been expressing for almost a week. My hubby was very keen to feed our daughter too.
It works well for us, partly because dd had developed a bad latch causing wind & sore nipples!
I mix feed tho cos I can't express enough thru the day to meet what she needs, something I never thought about while pregnant & considering expressing, so she gets part formula part breastmilk in each bottle.

My baby is six weeks and I've just started expressing (literally last night). Prompted to do so by mild mastitis symptoms which meant I wanted to make sure the affected breast was completely drained. Used an Avant hand pump and took me about 20 mins to express about 6floz. Tried it on baby and despite looking a bit surprised at first, she took to it really well, so I have done it again today. Aiming to give her one bottle every day or two to get her used to it, so other people (including DH) can feed her if I need to do something else (like sleep!) No advice as such as I'm such a novice, but just thought I'd share my experience so far. Good luck!

I didn't realise you could mix breast milk and formula! Good to know. I had wondered if introducing one formula feed at night might be a solution - no expressing, just breast during the day and one bottle some nights - but I get the feeling that's kind of frowned upon?
Louise, good luck with expressing! Glad it's going well.

I think that's mostly frowned upon cos it's seen as a selfish attitude to have - stick a bottle of formula in baby to make them sleep longer - but it doesn't necessarily work like that anyway. My dd was feeding every 2hrs on the breast and now 2.5 - 3hrs mostly on bottle of mixed (mostly formula).
You just have to do what's best for your family cos each baby is different, as is each mum & dad. As long as baby is well & loved (and u are sane!) that's all that counts x

If you plan to mix feed, it's best to talk it through with a breast feeding advisor from BfN, NCT or La Leche. Some mums find it to be the best of both worlds. It's certainly not the lazy option - sterilising, washing and preparing the formula take time and planning.

The reason it's not recommended is that breastfeeding works on supply and demand. Your baby teaches your body how much milk to produce. Babies grow very quickly in the first couple of months and they need to train your body to keep up. Most mums who choose to mix feed without seeking advice find that their milk isn't enough to keep up with demand after a couple of months.

No one (that matters) would frown on you for opting to mix feed, but please go into it with your eyes open if you don't want breast feeding to be a temporary thing.

My baby is 12 weeks old and we started expressing using a hand pump at 4 weeks. I bought the pump during a supermarket baby event whilst pregnant so got a good deal. When at home we aim to give her one expressed bottle per day mostly to ensure she keeps up the technique for the times when we need her to take a bottle - yesterday cos I was feeling poorly and just needed a rest, today because I have a long overdue hair appointment . We find she does have to be properly hungry to feed from the bottle whereas she's been great on the breast right from the start. It is a bit of a faff with the sterilisation, heating milk from fridge temp etc but with a stash in the freezer I'm looking forward to getting my DPs to babysit next time they visit and having a meal out with DH.

The routine that works for us is I only feed her from one side overnight so the other has a good supply to express first thing. This generally gives me a bottle to use that evening plus some to freeze for later. She feeds a lot in the afternoon/evening anyway so not had any supply issues so far

Ds2 is a bottle refuser and has a fab relationship with dh, there are loads if other ways for babies to bond with their children. Having said that I do wish he would take a bottle to give me a bit more freedom! I would say try and borrow one first, it maybe your baby won't take a bottle, it maybe you can't express (lots of women can't).