i've just given DD first bottle of formula and feel rubbish

[abbevillemum]

My DD is now nearly 29 weeks old and has been exclusively breast-fed. She has also never slept through the night (another story). This evening she was crying on my breast as if she was frustrated re the supply. I tried feeding her in bed. Still no joy and I really would like a good night's sleep (as would DH). So I gave DD a bottle of formula, her first ever. She downed it in less than 5 minutes and smiled at me - a big smile. Now what do I do? I feel guilty. DH doesn't understand. Have I made a mistake? I don't want to give up breast-feeding her. Is this the beginning of a slippery slope or does it mean there will be more milk for her dream-feed? Should I express now? Any suggestions gratefully received, even if it to tell me off and to say don't do that again love if you want to keep on breast-feeding.

It's fine. You need some sleep, helooo you're human.
I did this, we all got some sleep and 7 months on still breastfeeding. It's fine. As soon as I got 1 nights sleep I did it every night an breastfed at all other times. Then went back to work and the only feed I do do now is the last one at night and 1st one in the morning. Don't beat yourself up. ore sleep for you all means a happier family. You can still breatfeed at all other times.

Aw don't feel bad. It feels such a long time now since I breastfed dds 1 and 2. Just because you've given one bottle it doesn't have to mean that breastfeeding has to stop (unless you really want to). I think you've done brilliantly to get this far so don't beat yourself up. You've already given your baby the best start in life. xxx

Well done for sticking at it so long!
It could be a slippery slope, although the danger is less than if it was in the first few weeks of her life - at 29 weeks you will be starting to gradually introduce other foodstuffs anyway, and by this time your supply is well and truly established and can probably take some fluctuation. What it doesn't mean is that there will be 'more' milk for her dreamfeed. Bf really does work on supply and demand. Also, formula might not make her sleep any better. Sorry to say, ds has never slept through the night (well, 7 hours about two or three times) and is 13 months and on all sorts of foods and 3 meals a day. If you're unhappy about giving formula, I'd leave it - maybe she was a little bit frustrated this evening, but she should be able to up the supply 'by herself' by more frequent or longer feeding for a couple of days.

Don't really have advice but just want to say know how you feel. I cut down/gave up breastfeeding sooner than I wanted as a) i needed some sleep and b) I wanted af to return to ttc#2 and I felt terrible. I did find dd was quite happy mixed feeding for a while though, especially for comfort when she was tired. I'm sure a lot of the reaction to the formula was the novelty of the bottle rather than anything else. I know dd got frustrated at the breast because she couldn't look around, which she could with the bottle. It also seemed she drank more from the bottle than breast, but thats hard to prove, obviously.
Not expert on supply, etc but would think that at 29weeks your supply is pretty well established no matter what so there will be plenty for dream feed.

Btw I do agree with the other posters that you have nothing to feel bad about at all if you do give formula. I meant if it makes you unhappier rather than happier, I would probably leave it.

Don't feel guilty, you've done really well to get this far, and one bottle does not mean the breastfeeding has to end. Express if you feel uncomfortable, I reckon.

This does not mean the end of breastfeeding. It means you have given a bottle of formula and she took it. Put her down to sleep, and get some yourself. Do you always give her a dream feed? Habe you tried not doing it at all? I found that my babies woke even with a dream feed so i stopped it.
Has she started solids? Is she taking them well? If she is taking solids, has she had more or less breastfeeds? Sometimes babies get more thirsty when they start solids and look for more feeds initially. Some nbabies do not take enough milk.
Personally I would avoid giving her more formula because that won't help the sleeping in the long run. If it has given you some space then good and well. It is highly unlikely that there is anything at all wrong with your supply at this stage in the game. Babies will suck formula even if they aren't hungry because it is something different. Have you ever felt totally full after a main course but still managed to eat a sweet?
Basically I am trying to reassure you that the world will not end because you have given formula. It also does not mean that you are committed to giving any more. Don't bother expressing either - there is no need for one missed feed. Leave out the dream feed and see what happens.

Thanks guys. In relation to Mears' question, she started solids a few weeks ago. Today though was the first day that she really opened her mouth to get them though! I haven't dropped the amount of feeds though. Still doing 4 or 5 plus the dream feed.

Is it a myth then that your milk gets low in the evening? If it does get low, wouldn't supplementing it be a good thing? Why would the supply go down if DD is breast-feeding first and then taking the bottle?

Yes it is a myth that milk gets low in the evening. Babies often want to cluster feed then and mums are usually knackered at that time of the day. If you give a bottle, the baby will be full for longer and not demand another feed for longer. Your body then thinks that the baby does not need so much milk so starts to produce less. Basically, your body is capable of making all the milk your baby needs. If you supplement with a bottle, the baby will not breastfeed as much and therefore you will not be stimulted to make enough milk. The more you feed, the more milk you make. Giving formula interferes with that cycle. Many mums are happy with mixed feeding breast and bottle.
I personally do not think that there is a problem with your milk supply. Your baby may be wanting to be breastfeeding for comfort. If she is crying at the breast it may be that she has a sore mouth (teething) or sore ear (ear infection). It is highly unlikely to be frustration related to milk supply. Have you started using a different deodorant or perfume? I think you should look for other reasons why she is not happy to feed. The facty that she took a bottle does not mean she was actually hungry as I explained before. There is nothing worse for a breastfeeding mum's confidence than a baby glugging down a bottle of formula.

DS got the odd bottle of formula from about 5 months old. This was mainly because I got fed up with expressing and wanted to leave him with DH. It didn't have any effect on supply. (He probably had about 4 bottles a week). From a practical point of view, I would be reassured that your DD was happy about taking formula - its good to know you have an emergency stand by (e.g. if you suddenly had to leave her with somebody and didn't have ebm) as some breast fed babies turn their noses up it (DS did initially). I didn't find formula had any effect for good or bad on DS's sleep.

Agree with Mears re the dreamfeed - I did it with ebm for ages as I assumed it would eventually work but it never did. I switched from bottle dreamfeed to breast dreemfeed at 4 months old and that didn't work either.

At about 6 months old I stopped the dreamfeed completely as he really wasn't sleeping any longer and it meant I could go to bed earlier. I wish I'd stopped earlier - all those evenings trying to express a bottle to leave with dh while ds slept when I could have been asleep!! or later staying awake until 10/11pm to wake ds to feed him to then be woken at 2am again.

I am still bfeeding ds at 18 months and he had about 3-4 bottles of formula in the first 6 months (when I just couldn't face expressing any more but was still desperately trying to get the bottle dreamfeed to work). After I went back to work when he was 11 months old he had formula in the day on the 3 days I went to work but by then any novelty value had worn off and he drank almost none of it. I stopped giving him milk during the day on work days when he was 12 months old as he just never drank it.

I suppose the point I am making is that using formula a bit is not such a big deal at this stage- just be aware that if you want to keep breastfeeding try not to use it more than a couple of times a week or once a day at the very most. After starting ds on food I just saw formula as another type of food really to be given in moderation sometimes - just ds didn't like it much

Also your baby may have enjoyed the first bottle (ds did) but that doesn't mean she will keep drinking it especially if she is still getting breastmilk.
All that wasted money on formula he never drank