i'm worried i won't have the confidence to breast feed, 35+weeks pg

[whiteandyellowiris]

hi, i had my dd, i really struggled to bf, everyone on here supported me and i managed it till 9 months
found the first 4 months really hard
and i used to feed dd non stop tbh
about 30 times a day

i as quite unwell after dd was born 4th degree tear and pph
she struggled to gain weight, in fact the first two weeks she lost weight

then she scrapped in with minimum weight gain
the hv kept telling me to top her up with formula
but luckily with your support i ignorned the hv and carried on just bf

this was over 6 years ago

when we had our son, he died shortly after he was born, due to massive heart problems :(

and now im 35+weeks pregnant with our third baby
ive had gestational diabetes this time, which ive managed with diet as its mainly carbs making my blood glucose go up

so now im due to have a cs at 39 weeks, well 38+6
mainly due to having the 4th degree tear and problems from that

anyway what im frightened of is i know the baby will have to have is blood glucose checked after hes born, and if its too low be given formula/glucose
and i know hes more at risk of death in the neonatal period, first 28 days i believe

so im worried that if he loses weight during this neonatal period
i won't have the confidence to just keep breast feeding
as i will be worried that hes not getting enough milk

i don't have the same confidence as when i had my dd tbh

don't really know what i'm asking for here really, just any advice at all i guess

Would it help to know that I found it so hard bf with my 1st 2 babies and wasn't really able to manage it, my 3rd I had diabetes too and he was given formula straight away at birth, but somehow bf just managed to go okay and he is still bf now at 2 years old!! now trying to think how to wean him off! - sometimes it just clicks and you are able to do it, despite bad experiences before, and he won't necessarily lose weight.. u never know!

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Of course you are going to worry more after what you have been through :(
Wish you all the best. You say you are not confident, but you are a 3rd time mum and it might just end up going so much better than you think!

thank you for replying firawla, yes i am hoping that maybe somehow i find it easier this time

why did your 3rd baby get given formula stright after the birth? was it due to low blood glucose in the baby?

how did you find the whole birth after birth time with the diabetes ?
did you worry about the neonatal period?
or did you just feel when the baby was born that he or she was ok?

i keep worrying about still birth alot
i really dont want to wait till 38+6 for my section, but they won't agree to do it earlier
i want them to do it at 38 weeks

Hi whiteandyellowiris
When my dd was born she was whisked away to the SCBU and I was told she was hungry and would I consent to formula. In my post traumatic birth stuper I agreed and have always regretted it
HOWEVER - 12 hours later, when I finally got to meet her, I was shown how to feed her while lying down and she latched on like a pro! We never looked back and 11 months on and it's still going strong.
I really wish you all the best. Good luck.

It is hard to wait to meet our babies but waiting here is a good thing (as I feel you know). the longer you wait the more developed a baby's lungs are and less likely he will have breathing problems. Babies born by cs at 37 weeks are shown to have a higher incidence of breathing difficulties. When you consider that dating scans are not exactly fool proof, waiting to almost 39 weeks sounds sensible by your hospital.

Try not to stress about establishing bf. you can only cross that road while you get there. In the meantime, find bf support groups in your area and attend one before you give birth. You will find local faces who will be happy to support you in the early days, whether or not you have initial feeding issues. This can be a great way to neutralize the worry you feel now.

well i did have steriods at 33 weeks as i had some bleeding
[cervical erosion]

oh thanks for the advice

i will think about speaking tp the infant feeding person
i guess all hospitals have one?

will check out the lll site too
is kellymom website still good?

My DD was full term but due to health issues I had to give up breast feeding her at 3 weeks, she had lost weight but on formula she still only put on 1oz a week. I didn't expect it would be any different with my next child but my DS didn't need any lessons in breast feeding and used to put on 12 to 16 ozs a week. So it seems like it depends on the baby, get advice and good luck.

Whiteandyellow, what a hard time you have had. So sorry to hear about your son who died.

I don't have much great advice with gestational diabetes but wanted to say that I had a fourth degree tear with DS1, leading to an ECLS with DS2. (By the way, they did my CS at 39+5 despite the 4th degree tear...is there any reason yours has to be so early? Just thinking about getting as full term as possible.)

It was such a different birth experience and I found that the first labour was far more traumatic than the planned second.

As a result, I had a very hard time feeding DS1 and I had to have time topped up in hospital due to dehydration and bad jaundice. Despite that, I went on to bf for a yet and a half but it was a real struggle at the start. With my CS baby, it was simple, I had a lot of milk and colostrum available immediately and he fed like a dream, so never lost weight at all.

I think all you can do is give it a go. I completely understand why you would lose confidence if your new baby didn't seem to thrive on breastmilk, but then if that was the case, you could talk to a HV and consider the best options - mixed feeding or top ups or whatever is necessary at that point.

Will be hoping everything goes really well for you. X

thankyou xx

yeah, i have thought perhaps if im better in myself bf might come easier this time
i think the pph was due to the 4th degree tear

i will give it my best shot

suppose im just a bit worried about it all

I'm not surprised you're worried. Let's face it, having a new baby makes you a bundle of nerves even without a previous severe tear or losing a baby.

Is there any way you could set up some community support in advance? Ask your midwife or health visitor or the breastfeeding coordinator at the hospital if you can make sure you see someone every day in the first couple of weeks? That might help to establish breastfeeding well enough that you wouldn't feel so worried about weight gain.

That might be a stupid idea but I really really hope everyone supports you so that you have the best time possible with your new baby. X

You really have had a tough time. I'm so sorry for your loss.

DS1 is 3.5yo, and I bf him for 3 years.

DS2 is 10 weeks old, and I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at about 34 weeks. It was the final straw for me after a difficult pregnancy, and I worried a lot.

I was due to be induced at 38+2, but the consultant was not concerned by any risk of waiting. DS2 was a healthy weight, numerous scans showed everything was as it should be, and she told me that there was no real risk if I waited until 39 weeks (for example) as my numbers were not particuarly high (even though I was on medication), and everything else was as it should be. I chose the induction date to fit around childcare, as DH and I are a long way from family.

As it happened, I went into labour a few hours before I was due to go to the hospital, which wasn't entirely unexpected as DS1 (9lbs 1oz at birth) had been born at almost the same gestation. Interestingly, my levels dropped to normal the day before, which also made me wonder if things were about to start.

DS2 was born at 9lbs 3oz, and I bf him almost immediately. He was handed to me straight after he was born, I had a cuddle, DH had a cuddle, the midwife did some checks, then he was handed back to me and I fed him. They then did the newborn tests. His glucose levels weren't checked until later, partly because he seemed happy to breastfeed I think.

When his levels were checked, they turned out to be very low, and the doctors wanted to top up his feeds immediatly. This was the last thing that I had wanted, but as his levels were so low it felt more like they were giving him medicine, if that makes sense. They were supportive of my desire to breastfeed, but I also just wanted them to do what was needed to raise DS's levels. They showed DH and I how to cupfeed. I asked to see the infant feeding coordinator (she was great), and she showed me how to express and collect colostrum. DS stayed with me during my hospital stay.

The use of formula, even under these circumstances, did make me wobble though; I felt less confident in my ability to successfully breastfeed. I was glad I had been given the chance to bf him first, but I just worried that I wouldn't be able to feed him properly myself, particuarly as his low blood sugar was making him very sleepy. As soon as his levels rose they stopped the top ups, and as DS was less sleepy he bf well.

I didn't worry about any risk in neonatal period. Even when his levels dropped, he seemed healthy and it felt as the the doctors had it under control (if that makes sense). There was no panic, and once they had stabilised I instinctively felt that he was okay. I can understand why you would worry though. Even though I haven't had the same past experience as you, I worried myself sick towards the end of the pregnancy.

I know this is a huge post, I just tried to cover everything.

Wishing you all the best. x

Just to 2nd calling LLL national helpline 0845 120 2918. They can put you in touch with your local group and LLL Leader

They can talk thru your worries and help you put together a plan that works for you and your family

The online LLL shop has a fab leaflet on antenatal expression of colostrum that you could take to show to your midwife. Taking in your own EBM means it can be given to baby to increase blood sugar in hospital. Make sure you label your container really well and let all HCPs and especially your birth partner know about the EBM

Hugs

That's a great idea from Chocolate about taking your EBM into hospital ready to raise the baby's blood sugar. Definitely sounds worth looking into with LLL.

All the best.