Breast is best, isn't it?

[louie11]

Hello
Now I always read everyone's views but this is the first time I have decided to contribute because I feel very strongly about my previous 4 month's experience of breast-feeding my second LO. My LO is now 7.5 months old and from the age of 3 months I named her a 'total pain in the a**e'; I had to watch TV in the evenings with subtitles because she cried all the time, I tried CC to try + force her to go off to sleep (something which I wouldn't ever have dreamt of doing with my first) I gave her Colief, I took her to Cranial Osteopathy and I weaned her at 4 months. I went to endless lengths to try + get her to nap and wasn't really making much progress. Bedtime feeds had become a stand-off with her latching on for 2/3 sucks and then going mad when the milk didn't come down immediately, even if I got the milk down for her she wouldn't suck unless it was gushing into her mouth which it never did.
As a fervent supporter of breast-feeding (member of LaLeche) and having fed my first till 9 months (only stopping because I was 4 months pregnant with my second + he seemed to go off my milk), I intended to feed my second till she was 12 months at least. However, last week I decided that at 32 weeks I couldn't bear the bed-time battle feed any more and gave her some formula but decided to express; I got 2 oz! Conversely to my first, with whom I'd had buckets of breastmilk, I had never been able to express more than 2oz since day one with my second LO but every health professional to whom I spoke for guidance regards my screaming and extremely unhappy little baby insisted that I would be producing enough milk and now, after 1 week of formula feeding and a MUCH happier contented baby, I have to say that I don't think I did produce enough milk after 3 months; why? I don't honestly know, but I do know that all the guilt associated to bottle feeding may have made the past 4 months of my whole family's life a lot more troublesome than it need have been!

My view is that in the long run as long aa baby is fed then thats all rgat really matters.
My first was breast fed for a few weeks but it was a huge struggle and I gave up and bottle fed, feeling cwry guilty in doing so. My second was breat fed for 7 months.
My breast fed dc has allergies and eczema whereas my bottle fwsr baby doesn't, basically all the things my hv said I would avoid if I breast fed.

Lots of errors there sorry, still getting used to this phone!

In an ideal world breast is best but nobody lives in an ideal world, do they? You've tried your best and it didn't work out. Your job is to feed your baby and if breast feeding has been a problem you shouldn't feel any guilt at all about switching to a bottle. Sometimes I think we put the guilt on ourselves when there is really no need. If others want to judge us for using a bottle at any stage then they are the ones who should be feeling guilty. They have no right.

Enjoy your DD and don't worry about the bfing. She is thriving and you should take comfort from that.

breast is best if mother and baby are happy with it. if they're not, it's not.

Breast milk is the best food for a baby. Formula milk is a perfectly reasonable substitute if for any reason breastfeeding is not possible. Yes it isn't absolutely optimal but it's fine.

There is no need to feel guilty - you took a decision to move to formula, and that was right for you. Your baby has had the advantage of bm for four months, you're not far away from weaning age when feeding stops being exclusive anyway, so it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. None of this devalues your breastfeeding and support of others breastfeeding.

You also have two small children which is bound to make it more stressful feeding the second child, compared to the pfb who had 100% of your attention.

So I guess what I'm saying is - go easy on yourself! You have nothing to be guilty about. Focus on the positives of the last 7.5 months and put the negatives to one side if you can.

If it works it's brilliant, if not formula isn't poison.

I battled SO hard to ebf DD1 that at 6 weeks she had gained only 5oz & looking back at photos she looked do ill. we combination feed til 13 weeks. on introducing formula she gained 21oz in 6 days. I felt so guilty that I had failed her by producing poor breast milk, having read & listened to so much breast feeding propaganda.

With DD2 it was obvious at 2 weeks that we were headed the same way. now at 4 months I am thrilled to still be combination feeding her roughly 50:50.

You do what is right for you're family but breast is not always best.

I'm persevering with bf despite many, albeit common, problems. But if I'm honest with myself it's not for his health but for how it makes me feel (emotionally speaking i.e. It's the one thing only I can do and I want to feel needed). It would take a certain type of strength to stop.

The first time I gave DD a bottle of formula I was in floods of tears. I felt that I'd completely failed her. I won't go into the backstory but for various reasons I just didn't produce any milk at all (this was pretty much confirmed by the infant feeding co-ordinator at the hospital and a lactation consultant). However this didn't stop me feeling that the sky would fall in when I gave her formula.

Now I look back I can see I had no choice but to switch to formula. My DD would have starved to death otherwise. Now I see a healthy, happy, thriving little girl, and I am thankful that formula makes that possible.

Breast is best in many, many circumstances. But sometimes it just isn't. You did so well to go as long as you did and should be proud of yourself.