Seriously stressed - low weight, bf 8mo hardly eats

[Monikita]

DD is tongue-tied (had 3 procedures done) and has a possible milk allergy. Bf had been going really well from 6mo and she was putting on a good amount of weight, with just sampling different foods for 2 meals a day (she gets constipated easily). She hates purees, doesn't really like being spoonfed and when we do finger foods she does take some but a lot goes everywhere else (or she's just not interested).

I got her weighed 2 weeks ago and she'd only put on 200g in a month (plateauing just above the 2nd centile) but when we measured her, her length had jumped from the 25th to 50th centile, which will worry the dietitian.

Last week bf got very painful but this has subsided this week. I started expressing twice a day on Monday in anticipation for starting work next week and now I feel I have no milk (although I'm extremely thirsty). I also introduced breakfast.

Last night I got really worried and phoned milk matters who put me in touch with Ann Dobson. She reckons her tongue tie is still causing her problems (I am not getting it snipped again) with both bf and solids. She also said that when she is constipated I should feed her more solids, not less (I usually cut back on solids and bf more when this happens - then she poos!). Last week she went a week without pooing and this week she hasn't pooed since Saturday. Ann Dobson is coming on Friday evening to assess DD and make recommendations for an osteopath in Cambridge.

So, my questions are:
Has anyone had a tongue tied baby who was a reluctant eater? Did they improve?

How did you get a spoon refuser to eat more finger foods?

Has anyone any experience with Ann Dobson?

Has anyone had a tongue tied baby who was bf well and then whose latch deteriorated?

Sorry for the essay!

No, you're right Jilted. She needs all the calories she can get!

I'm back at work on Monday but doing phased return so working 3 days a week for a month. Don't really have a local LLL but will try and see the NCT BFC on Thursday.

We spent this afternoon doing bio nurturing and loads of skin to skin which really helps with the pain - not sure if it's because DD's latch improves or if the hormones prevent me from feeling the pinching!

Some good news on the food front - today she had a transition session with the childminder and ate some chickpea and tomato soup whilst there. I was thrilled! Am hoping that seeing the other children eating it will encourage her to do the same. She didn't cry for the whole hour she was there either... until she heard me at the door

That is good news. My dd always ate much better at nursery thN she did with me.

As for the sugar, I know it says to limit it,and some people don't offer any,but the way I look on it is this, we all eat sugar in our family and the children need to learn that its ok in moderation and they need to learn how to handle it. DS has a friend who comes around, all he talks about is sweets, biscuits, cake and sugar. Needless to say he's a little on the heavy side.

Sorry I haven't updated - just been trying to cope with going back to work (luckily on phased return so finished for the week).

She's been doing much better with her solids at the childminder's. I think sitting at the table with the older kids has made her want to copy them. Jilted we tried the pancakes on the weekend and she loved those!

She's taking just under 16oz of ebm (the childminder has managed to get her to eat more porridge and slips some ebm into that), although I can't pump that at the moment. I pump 5 times at work with a double electric pump and only get 11oz for the whole day. My period has just come back (sorry TMI) so hopefully the low output is just a temporary result of that (the pain on feeding has gone now).

DD's also been pooing more. I think I have to face facts that I've been starving her a bit on the breast and she hasn't been able to get the milk out. Which makes me feel like I'm a bit broken . I'm not sure why 6 weeks ago she was thriving and then suddenly she couldn't feed properly but may be she had a growth spurt which has made her TT tighter.

DH reckons she's a bit chubbier and am just debating whether to get her weighed again tomorrow or if that will just depress me if she hasn't put anything on.

From what you've said, I still don't see why you think you've been starving her. Yes I know she has low weight gain, but everything else you say suggests she is thriving. If a HCP is concerned about weight they should be looking at the whole picture, weight, length, head circumference, is baby meeting its milestones, is baby bright and alert at times? Weight is just one small factor in this. I seriously wouldn't take her to get weighed tomorrow. The red book suggests weighing no more than once a month and if your HV was concerned she would have referred you by now.

Also, the amount you express has no reflection at all on the amount you produce. I could barely express a 10ml at a time with dc1 yet he was chubby. They are far more efficient than the pump

Glad she liked the blueberry pancakes. We keep a bag of frozen blueberries and have them in Saturdays, when the mornings are a bit less rushed.

Any news on Ann Dobson?

My dd didn't gain weight while she was growing in length. That seemed to be all the time in the first few months(very stressful). If you say she jumped up the growth charts, that's probably why the weight gain slowed as all her energy was going to growing. As a mummy of a skinny baby, I would suggest try not to worry so much about weight gain and keep an eye on growth and behsvioir, as well as signs of dehydration (dipped fontanelle, papery skin etc)

Thanks for the reassurance guys. Yes Jilted, you're right - am not going to get her weighed today. I'll have to see the dietitian next week and if she gets stressed about her weight, I'll push for proper testing of CMPA. If they're really concerned and I'm doing everything they've advised, they have to follow through and thoroughly investigate. Unfortunately I haven't heard since from Ann Dobson. I think she's just mega busy. Will phone and see when she's next free.

Beansandcheese good to know that there are other skinny babies out there. Every time people see her (including other mums I don't know), they always comment on how tiny she is for her age as if she's a complete freak!

Thanks for all the support, I feel a lot better and more empowered for when I see the dietitian .

Just needed to rant a bit. Saw the dietitian today and she really riled me (did give her a piece of my mind though!).

Since the last weigh in DD has been going to the childminder for three days a week. She's been eating a bit more in solids there but wasn't drinking much ebm at first so we asked CM to make her breakfast with ebm and give it to her in a cup as a snack in between and with her solid meals (she now has 12oz at CM's). When I'm at home I bf her lots and often leave her less than an hour before her solid meal. I then bf her straight after the meal if she wants it. Interestingly she has increased her solid intake (eg half slice of toast and half a scrambled egg for breakfast). She's also feeding lots at night (probably for bonding) so can end up having 10-12 feeds in a day.

So, after 6 weeks of moving towards the 0.4 centile again, since upping her bm intake (and dd increasing her solids), she put on 100g in 2 weeks, moved above the 2nd centile again and has been pooing 1-2 times a day.

Apparently this isn't good enough. I shouldn't have increased her bm intake (despite her weight gain slowing and hardly pooing) and the amounts she's taking in solids aren't big enough for her age (her size doesn't seem to matter).

Well, that was just too much. I asked her if she had any peer reviewed evidence to show that I should only be bfing her 4 times a day and could she tell me how I could possibly get enough calories through solids into the stomach of a 14lb baby? She conceded that yes, her stomach was only the size of her fist and that yes, bm was indeed more calorific than solids but despite my method working, babies her age should only be having 20oz of milk . I quickly pointed out that was not a maximum and only applied to ff babies anyway (she had to concede I was right on that count as well).

Bloody hell! What is with these so-called HCPs? Why can't they look at an individual and why the hell don't they seem able to understand the importance of peer reviewed studies to back what they say? Aargh!