10m old refusing to breastfeed

[happypiglet]

Wanted to breast feed my DS until at least 12m. However he is refusing to breast feed except first thing in the morning.
Having to give milk in cup and even then he is taking hardly any at 2.30pm and bed time. I am worried that he isn't getting enough milk and this is starting to bug me.
But the worst of it is I feel rejected. I harboured secret desires to feed him for some time to come as I (and I thought he) really enjoy it.
Every morning now I am on edge that he might reject the breast and then it will all be over...Am I being really, really drippy??? I just feel like bursting into tears about it all the time.
How do some mums keep going until their DC are toddlers when mine wants to ditch it now??!?!?

I was talking to a friend today whose 10 month twins have just self weaned. They have stopped breastfeeding all together. Yes she completely breastfed TWINS who wouldn't take a bottle. Don't worry and well done for getting this far. He is still feeding right now. Is he a good eater?

no need to feel rejected. i think you just have to accept that he's calling the shots. every baby is different. you've done great and you can congratulate yourself on letting him decide.

Well done for getting to 10 months - my son was 8 months when he decided that watching TV was more interesting than lying on his side feeding! I was actually relieved that ultimately it was his decision to stop feeding because I found that whilst the first 5 months was always a struggle for me to feed, I was just starting to feel a real bond with my son and loved watching him as he fed (without the pain of the first 5 months! My intention was always to manage 6 months before I would consider giving up but feelings of guilt started to set in at 6 months and I kept putting off the inevitable of reducing the number of feeds to finally come to a stop. Feel much better when I know it was his decision.

Hi Piglet, I saw your post last night but was off to bed and didn't have time to reply properly. I don't agree that your son is self-weaning - it is extremely unusual for a child of this age to wean themselves. However it is very, very common to have a nursing strike around this age - particularly if you have been extra busy recently or if something scary has happened while he was breastfeeding (e.g he bit you and you shouted).

I had a nursing strike with my son around this age and also felt very upset and rejected, and I know other posters on here have experienced the same. It can be very upsetting - breastfeeding is very bound up with giving love in the mother and child relationship, and a child rejecting your milk can be extremely distressing. Also your hormones will be all over the place, and you will not be getting so many of the 'feel good' chemicals that your body is used to being flooded with every time you feed.

The advice on Kellymom is excellent as usual. There are lots of tips to try and several useful links which might help you. I would also recommend contacting your local La Leche League leader as she will understand your distress and will be able to give expert advice.

I hope you and your son can continue to enjoy breastfeeding for as long as you both want to. Please let us know how it goes.

One more link about how to distinguish between child self-weaning, and normal, developmental changes

Do babies under 12 months self-wean?

including this very relevant quote:

"True SELF-weaning before a baby is a year old is very uncommon. In fact, it is unusual for a baby to wean before 18-24 months unless mom is encouraging weaning. However, it is very common to hear a mother say that her baby self-weaned at 9 or 10 months old, or even earlier."

DS1 could not be bothered with breast anymore at 7 months. He had bottle at nursery and much preferred it. Breast was too much hard work I think and nothing to look at when feeding. DS2 I am still breast feeding at 24 months, so all children different. Don't feel rejected. He is just an upwards and onwards baby with little time for breast feeding.

thanks all. I do think he is self weaning as he did cut down gradually (stopping after nap and then at bedtime). Plus he is not interested in milk from other sources (bottle, cup, ebm or formula) and is not distressed at all in terms of not 'getting enough'.
And he still feeds in the morning (although vey fast!)
I guess I stopped earlier than I would have liked with DS1 as I wanted to ttc and with DS2 he is probably my last and it feels like the end of an era.
Feeling better this am that others of you had the same experience!!! DH will be pleased to have sole custordy of the boobs any way!!