Is this the end for bfeeding?

[coolsmudge81]

My Ds is four weeks old now and is pretty much on full time formula fed with the odd breast feed i can give him which I am so down about as i always wanted to ebf him.

The start of this was a third degree tear, no help in hospital with how to bf, lost 11% of his brithweight and was jaundiced so we were advised to FF feed or be rehospitalised if no improvement. At this point I had not slept since the birth due to him being latched continuously so I was a physical and mental wreck.

After getting some rest I went on to a feeding plan of bfeeding, then topping up with formula then experessing to increase my milk supply as it was not coming in. I really really tried but everytime it came to express there was something else that needed doing like comforting him or snatching 10 mins sleep or just going to the loo!

I struggled like this for two weeks and just had my confidence shattered everytime we went to the midwives and they still werent satisfied with his weight and my supply. In the end we just upped daramatically the formula and reduced the breast feeds so that he gained weight and we were discharged.

I feel like such a failure and dont know if I could have done more to establish breastfeeding? But I must admit having the formula to fall back on has meant that I have been able to sleep occasionally.
Does anyone else mix feed after trying to exclusively breastfeed?

I have started mix feeding after exclusively breast feeding for just two and a half weeks. It's for slightly different reasons from you - an enormous boy who I just couldn't keep up with. Last weekend I was very upset as I didn't seem to have enough milk but didn't want to FF. However since I started FF both DS and I are much happier. I am now giving him about three four ounce bottles in 24 hours but still breast feeding. I've been doing this for a week now and it's going fine. In fact since starting it a few friends who I thought had exclusively BF have told me that they also topped up with bottles.
I really want mixed feeding to work and so far the signs are that it can.

If it was me I would continue to bf as much as possible. At 4 weeks you are still building your supply so try to put him to your breast as often as you can. Some breastmilk is better than none at all. I have had and overcome quite a few breastfeeding problems myself but I have had a lot of support from DH. With my first child my goal was 12 weeks. I had some horrendous and painful problems but I took it one day at a time and did my best each day. I genuinely didn't know if I could go on. My baby was gaining well so I didn't supplement. When I got to 12 weeks things had improved so much I just kept going. He was ebf until I introduced solids at 6 months. He continued to nurse for 2 years!
I am currently bf my 4.5 month old. He was a large baby and spent 3 days in the NICU due to breathing difficulties and low blood sugar. They insisted on formula supplementation and I felt like a failure. I'd had a cesarean and was still quite groggy but I was desperate for my baby to bf. i ended up with severe nipple trauma. After 3 days of supplementation I switched to ebf and that's how it's been ever since. This time I had to overcome the issues caused bleeding nipples. Each day I was unsure if I could do it. But I kept going. One day at a time.
My advice to all mums is to keep taking it one day at a time. Breastfeed as much as you can each day. Sometimes we need to supplement, that's life. But we can still choose to bf for as long as we have some milk. Admittedly, I'm a hardcore bfer. For me it's the only way. I had a lot of helpful people telling me to wean during my own particular problems but I felt that that just wasn't an option I wanted to entertain. There's always a choice and it doesn't have to be all or nothing. For most mums BF gets easier each week for the first few months until it is no hassle at all.
Best of luck! Do what feels right for you and your baby!

No advice I'm afraid, just wanted to say I can totally empathise with you . I think mix feeding may be the only way I can keep any kind of breastfeeding up at the moment.

I was completely unprepared for how hard I would find breastfeeding, and how awful the sleep deprivation would be. I did a few formula top ups after my baby lost a lot of weight and felt an utter failure. I was advised to express and use that for top ups too, but where do you find the time?
I have a clingy baby who likes to be attached to the breast or constantly held. When I stopped the formula top ups I had four days of hell which I think was my body trying to catch up.

Now after my baby seemed to be in a lot of pain with trapped wind and bringing every feed back up I am back on a regime of top ups of formula or ebm (I actually managed to find the time to express twice today - getting better!). The feeding midwife is unsure if it is pain or hunger, so we are topping up and were using infacol, now colief.

I never thought I would do anything other than exclusively breast feed. I didn't contemplate expressing never mind using formula. I feel crap that I can't do something that comes so easily to other people. I have struggled with incorrect latch, nipple trauma and using shields knowing in all likliehood they will stop my baby accessing the milk as well.

Does your NHS Trust have a specialist feeding midwife? Mine has been helpfu even just for reassurance though i am sure she thinks I am a lost cause. I have also seen peer supporters and a councillor from the NCT. Hope you have some support. I am just trying to take it a day then a week at a time.

Both my babies have been all night nursers. It really is tough. But the sleep deprivation is easier for me 2nd time. One thing I do that helps is we co-sleep in a king size bed. Just me and baby. DH was sleeps elsewhere for now. Learning to nurse lying down saved my bf relationships. Although I am woken hourly (or more) most nights, I barely have to move. So I don't fully wake up. I keep a very low light next to my bed which I have a remote control for. I rarely use the light now though. Some nights my big 4.5 month old stays latched on all night. Some pillows wedged at your back help.
Most women experience problems in the early weeks. I always advice my friends to expect problems but to have the self belief that you can overcome them. But you will need help from DH or someone during the daytime. The first weeks you shouldn't have to think about anything but yourself and your newborn.
Get a carrier. I find my ergo the best. I can wear my boy for hours without (much) pain. I couldn't use my baby bjorn at all because it hurt my neck so much.