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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

please someone tell me its ok to switch to formula...

54 replies

MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 21:39

I know its OK in the sense that my DS will be perfectly healthy and well fed (I was ff as a baby so have no issues). its just that during my pregnancy I always wanted to breastfeed. my labour and pregnancy werent exactly smooth sailing and I thought at least if I could breastfeed I could do something right.

my DS is 3 and half months old and I now have mastitis. I have been so Ill the past 2 days I haven't been able to be a proper mummy and feel guilty about that, and I went to give him his feed before bed and no milk would even come out he was just screaming bless him so I had to give him a bottle of formula.

I'm just thinking is it worth carrying on? is this mastitis going to be reoccurring? if I can't even feed him then how can I continue? but on the other hand I love the closeness and the bond, and the feeling when I feed him. I am feeling guilty about just thinking about switching to formula

OP posts:

AnythingNotEverything · 04/09/2013 21:47

You don't need permission. Do what you think is best.

Original poster

MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 21:49

I know. I think that because other things have gone so wrong I just wanted this to go right.

OP posts:

Mehrida · 04/09/2013 21:51

It's ok to switch to formula.

No, really it is.

Hope this helps!

ThePieSmuggler · 04/09/2013 21:54

I had one bout of mastitis and it never came back so it's definitely possible that it may be a one off (and I feel for you, I remember how hard it was, I remember crying when I realised DD wanted feeding again just because it was so bloody hard) it you want to carry on Breastfeeding then there is plenty of support on here and on various forums. Breastfeeding IS hard, and I don't think anyone ever really prepared me for just how hard it can be, but it's also what's best for your baby and it was holding into that thought that got me through the tough times. It does get easier after a while, I promise!

Mosschops30 · 04/09/2013 21:55

Wow you've breasted for 3 months that's amazing
I only managed 5 days but was still proud for doing the best I could.

We live in a country with clean water and safe formula and your Ds will be perfectly healthy and happy whatever you feed him.
I don't know any adults who don't speak to their parents because they weren't exclusively breastfed for 6 months
You have a whole lifetime of doing things for him and this is such a tiny part so please don't beat yourself up xx

RobotHamster · 04/09/2013 21:55

You've done 3.5 months which is fantastic, do not feel guilty if you decide to switch. If you want to carry on BFing then there's bound to be someone on here that can help you with that and the mastitis

HitTheNorth · 04/09/2013 21:57

It's ok to switch to formula, but if you really want to carry on with bf, then I'm sure someone on here will be able to advise you. I had to give up bf after a few months, and I beat myself up about it for the next 2 years, so whatever happens or whatever you decide, please don't torture yourself. You and your baby will still have lots of closeness however you feed

Repeatedlydoingthetwist · 04/09/2013 22:02

Mosschops is spot on - excellent post
The way I look at it is that I'd rather my baby was ff and had a happy smiley mummy than was bf and had a mummy who was stressed and anxious all the time.
If you enjoy the closeness have you considered combination feeding though? Might be ideal for you.

(Apols for the use of 'mummy' there, very twee )

YoniBottsBumgina · 04/09/2013 22:03

Oh, lovely, you have done everything right. Labour and pregnancy are unpredictable, if they weren't plain sailing, that is absolutely no reflection on you at all. You clearly have a lot of love for your DS which shines through in your posts, whichever decision you make regarding feeding will be the right one for him, for you and for your relationship as a pair.

Please do not ever feel guilty for loving him and holding him and being there for him. You cannot protect them from every hardship, loving them through it is what counts. You do what you have to do.

cakesandchocolate · 04/09/2013 22:03

I don't know if the mastitis will clear or recurr but please please please please PLEASE stop feeling guilty! About everything!
Its awful that you feel that bf will let you feel you could 'do something right' - as if you have failed somehow by having a difficult pregnancy and labour , having a baby is not something to pass or fail.
I'll bet, given your anxiety about everything that you are the most amazing and caring mum and how you feed your baby is not something you need to judge yourself on! Or let anyone else!
You will bond with your baby, bf or otherwise, so give yourself a break!
If you want to persist with bf then get some support but please do not beat yourself up about it!!

Original poster

MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 22:04

thank you everyone. I do feel a bit better now. I think I will miss it if I don't breastfeed but at the same time I need to be a happy mummy too.

OP posts:

permaquandry · 04/09/2013 22:06

You've breastfed for 3 months, that is fantastic, be proud of that and don't be so hard on yourself.

Of course it's OK to use formula, you must do what you think is right for you. Formula is created to provide babies with all the nutrients it needs. You need to be happy and healthy too! (I never used formula for any of mine, bf for 15 mths each time, I found it very easy to breastfed and was very lucky, I wud have used formula had I had any issues).

Enjoy your baby.

permaquandry · 04/09/2013 22:08

Also, you sound like a lovely mum, just from your post you can tell you want to do the absolute best thing for him and that makes you a great mum. Be kind to yourself.

joanofarchitrave · 04/09/2013 22:09

'having a baby is not something to pass or fail. '

This. Feel for you very much, please enjoy feeding your baby however you do it.

nancerama · 04/09/2013 22:11

I had mastitis and it really, really is horrible. It knocks you sideways and is so hard to take care of a baby at the same time.

Have you been to your GP? If not, please make an appointment first thing tomorrow - you will almost certainly need antibiotics - they will shift the infection fast and make you feel so much better.

I know that feeding makes you feel horrible, but feeding from the affected side will also help to clear up the mastitis quicker.

If you want to switch to formula, please don't feel guilty. You've done amazingly well to get this far and every feed will have made a huge difference to your little one and will have been beneficial. It's an amazing thing you have done.

Please call a breastfeeding support helpline whether you choose to continue feeding or not - if you want to carry on they will help you to find ways to feed to shift the blockage causing the mastitis and to give you advice to stop it coming back again. If you want to stop feeding they will advise you the best way to go about it. You really should wean yourself and baby gradually as suddenly stopping can make mastitis worse and can bring it on on the other side.

MortifiedAdams · 04/09/2013 22:11

FFing isnt the wrong thing to do you know.

It isnt acid.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 04/09/2013 22:14

It's okay to do whatever will work better for you and your child.

Really. It is. Not just now with BF/FF, but with all the other millions of choices that you will make in the future.

Good luck whatever you decide

wheretoyougonow · 04/09/2013 22:17

I could have written this post a few years ago. I cried the day I gave up through guilt. However by a couple of days I was so much happier. My DS had never once commented on how long he was breasted so don't worry!

wheretoyougonow · 04/09/2013 22:17

Breastfed - bloomin phone.

SavoyCabbage · 04/09/2013 22:23

Oh me too, the guilt. I had no bottles of milk or anything as I had just thought I was going to breast feed. And I couldn't.

My mum told me it was ok. And it was.

She told me it was just one of the many things I would do for my daughter. And it is exactly that.

She's nine now.

This week I took the day off to watch her run the 800m in district athletics. She wanted me to come and I did.

I cook for her every day. I taught her to ride a bike. I listened to her read every day.

In the holidays I took her to the Monet exhibition as she loves art.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 04/09/2013 22:27

Of course it's OK if that is what you want.

However, if you really don't want to stop breastfeeding I would:

--Use a hot compress to get the milk flowering. It will also be quite soothing on the mastitied breast.
--Keep feeding. It's unbearably painful but it actually quickens the recovery, not extends it.
--Take naps as often as you can. If you have anyone else who can help for an hour or two in the day so you could get some extra sleep as this should really help.
--Take paracetamol for any high temperature you may have with mastitis. It's OK to take and doesn't hurt the baby.

It may take a week or so to go completely, but if it matters a lot it may be worth pursuing. As far as it reoccurring it's really hard to say. With some women it reoccurs, with others it's just a one time bout. To make it less likely to reoccur I would suggest pumping if LO leaves a much longer gap between feeds i.e. if LO feeds every 2 hours and leaves it 4 hours, I'd pump between as this can engorge your breasts and this can be a cause of mastitis. I'd also wear a bra that isn't too tight, as that doesn't help either.

But if it's all too much and (3 and a half months is a great amount of time to breastfeed--even a day is) then of course giving LO a formula isn't a bad thing. It's not like you just fancied giving up you have a very stressful thing going on that could easily make anyone move to formula.

Original poster

MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 22:29

Mortifiedadams - I know its not acid I was ff myself.

And nancerama, I went to my GP yesterday and got antibiotics, I have to go back tomorrow.

OP posts:

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 04/09/2013 22:35

Oh just to state I am not a professional, just someone who has researched a lot of this stuff.

I'd also say investing in some Lanolin might give you a little bit of relief, especially if the nipples are cracked or red.

Whatever you choose, don't feel bad.

I felt bad when I had to start supplementing DD at a week, as the latch wasn't very good at the time and my breasts got a bit engorged and it was all a bit emotional. Plus I had a c section so was all a bit of a blur really as I had pre eclampsia so really can relate to the shock of a not quite as planned labour.

nancerama · 04/09/2013 22:45

BfN helpline is open from 9am tomorrow. 0300 100 0210

They won't try to persuade you to carry on if you don't want to, but they will be able to give you advice to help you make the right decision for you and your baby.

Make sure you stay hydrated and rested and wear a nice soft, stretchy, non restrictive bra. All these things will help you to feel better soon.

See if someone can be with you during the day to take care of your baby so you can sleep in between feeds.

LittleBlackDress · 04/09/2013 22:57

Have Dd and DS. Both FF, though I tried to BF both. Won't bore you with why I couldn't / didn't. But I can say now looking back, that how you feed your child in the first 3 / 6 / 12 months is such a teeny tiny part of bringing up your child. First off, you'll be thinking about weaning at 6 months - and all the new questions / decisions that raises. But then there's all the other bits - teaching them to read / ride a bike / helping them learn to crawl, walk, jump, run. And my DD is not even 4 yet, but I can see what a small part of her life those first few months wre. Yes BF is best, but FF is still very good.

My brother was BF and I was FF. No difference between us allergy-wise, intelligence-wise, etc etc.

Mine were happy being FF. So was I, once I had let go of the guilt, so it worked for us.

Do what is best for you and your baby. Bear in mind that these early months whizz by and it would be nice if you could remember them fondly rather in a fog of stress or guilt. Good luck! :-)

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