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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Please help me give up breastfeeding. I am desperate and so upset.

29 replies

Artijoke · 04/09/2013 07:25

DS is 3.5 months. I've had mastitis requiring antibiotics twice. I finished the last course 10 days ago and woke this morning with an agonising breast and crippling fever. With my second child this kept happening but I wouldn't give up. Basically I was ill for most of her first year.

I promised myself I'd move to bottles if I got mastitis more than once with DS. I need to for my health and my ability to look after my other two kids. However, all I get told is "don't drop any feeds while you are ill" I am always ill, so when do I drop feeds? Nobody will help me and I feel trapped needing to feed. I also feel v guilty about giving up at 3.5 months when I fed my others for a year. I need to let go of that guilt but I'm finding it harder than I thought.

I feel dreadful. Please help.

OP posts:
Forgetfulmog · 04/09/2013 07:28

I've never had mastitis, but did have a hellish time establishing bfeeding with dd so I can empathise with you.

Firstly, giving up bfeeding whilst you have mastitis will not help you get better from mastitis - you need to keep draining the affected breast. You can do this by expressing but be gentle (hand expressing is probably better than a pump).

Do you have any RL support? Have you tried calling LLL? You shouldn't feel guilty for giving up bfeeding, but I am concerned that you get the right support for you to recover from mastitis

gretagrape · 04/09/2013 09:06

You need to do whatever will benefit you and your baby best. I don't know anything about mastitis, so obviously you need specialist advice about it, but don't feel guilty about stopping BF.

My son has CMA and despite a strict dairy/soya/egg/fish free diet on my part he was still reacting to something so we moved to formula. I really resisted the move but to be honest once he was on the bottle my only regret is that I didn't do it earlier because I can see now that continuing BF when there were issues was starting to affect my bond with him.

The most important thing is that you, your baby and the rest of your family are happy. Yes BF is best if you can do it for as long as possible, but NOT at the expense of your happiness.

hermioneweasley · 04/09/2013 09:09

2 bouts of mastitis already - you deserve a bloody medal!

Hopefully tiktok or one of the wise breasstfeeding counsellors will be along to tell you the best way to phase out BFeeding.

CreatureRetorts · 04/09/2013 09:16

I would strongly suspect that there's something wrong with your baby's latch? Or are you wearing a sling/bra that cuts into your boob?

You do need to keep emptying the boob but also I found combing my boob with a wide tooth comb while hand expressing in a hot shower (!!!) helped the milk flow. Also using a breast pump.

Once it's passed then you can stop BF gradually - given you've had mastitis a few times, I'd be careful about how you do it.

Original poster
Artijoke · 04/09/2013 10:39

I think his latch is ok. I think it's my breast that's the problem as I always get the infection in the same place both with this baby and the last.

I have tried a local BF counsellor and my HV but everyone offers tips to keep BFing not help on how I stop without getting more ill.

OP posts:
MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 10:44

I know how you feel. my DS is also 3 and half months and I have got mastitis now Sad . I have also considered giving up BFing but when I am fine I enjoy it, so I just hope I don't get it asaing it ius horrendous.

MrsDavies · 04/09/2013 10:45

*again

EldritchCleavage · 04/09/2013 10:57

Well, I'm not going to tell you to give up, but I feel your pain. I was you when I had DS. It was agony. I just could not get it right, had mastitis and was tearing my hair out. I limped on expressing milk for another month, even getting up in the night (think midnight, then again at 4am) to express to try and keep my supply going. In the end my bossy sister rang me from the US and barked down the 'phone 'I give you permission to stop breast-feeding!' So I did. I felt much better at the time, though I do regret it a bit now. With my second I had similar, though lesser problems, persevered and all was marvellous after a couple of slightly tricky months.

So, take the pressure off yourself. It's a decision for you really. I give you permission to stop (get me!), if that is genuinely what's best for you now. But it may not be. Don't feel pressured, and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY whichever option you choose. It's not the be-all and end-all of mothering. Be kind to yourself.

kalidasa · 04/09/2013 11:19

It is FINE to stop. You are in a miserable hormonal feverish fug of guilt and worry but when you were calm and rational you made a calm and rational decision that if you kept getting mastitis again it was better for everyone if you stopped. Breastfeeding with a fever is ghastly, I had several illnesses that gave me a fever while breastfeeding (though not mastitis) and it was so horrible, you can't rest properly and you get dehydrated much more quickly because your body keeps pumping out the milk. I ended up in hospital the first time - NOT what you or your baby wants.

I know that you need to keep the milk flowing so that the mastitis doesn't get worse but you could replace one or two feeds with a bottle and try a pump or hand expressing. Like someone upthread I found hand expressing in the shower was actually easiest.

Have you tried any kind of bottle before? If not, it might be best to get someone else to offer it. My keen-on-breast, liable-to-bottle-strike baby did best with the 'breast flow' bottles though they were expensive and hard to get hold of. (I went back to work early so mix fed from 4 months.)

Good luck and I hope you feel much better soon. Can you see the GP today?

CreatureRetorts · 04/09/2013 12:58

You can stop by dropping one feed a week, gauging your boobs reaction and watching for mastitis. If you get engorge, hand express and try not wearing a bra as much as possible. What bras do you wear? The last feed to go is usually bedtime and the first one to drop can be mid afternoon.

RedKites · 04/09/2013 14:15

If you choose to stop, then do, knowing you're trying to make the best decision for your family.

I just wanted to raise another possibility, but please ignore if it's not suitable for whatever reason. You mention the problem is always in the same place. If that's the case, you could consider just feeding from the other side. You would still need to gradually phase out feeding from the problem side, but if you do want to continue, it's something you could do. I think another poster on here (midori1999?) had similar issues, stopped feeding from one side, but has continued fine from the other.

LAF77 · 04/09/2013 19:13

Has your DC been checked by a knowledgeable professional for TT? Persistent problems suggest a physiological cause.

Take care, mama

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/09/2013 19:41

Agree, if you do want to stop then that's the right choice for you Smile

The current advice is to drop one feed every 2 weeks. This is to reduce your risk of mastitis. Could you choose one feed to swap, perhaps the first or bedtime one? Will he take a bottle?

Agree that persistent infections do suggest there could be a problem. Is there a local Bfing support group you could go to? They should be able to check your latch, check your Lo for tongue tie and talk to you about the best way to deal with your mastitis.

CityDweller · 04/09/2013 19:43

You have my utmost sympathy. I had mastitis twice within first five weeks of bf DD - the first bout 6 days in when I was still a wreck from giving birth. It is awful. Mine too was in the same place both times. Turns out DD had tongue tie that meant she couldn't drain that boob properly. So, if you do want to continue then it's worth checking for tt, if you haven't already. But if you want to stop, a decision I completely empathise with, then don't feel guilty. You've given your LO an amazing start.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/09/2013 20:06

Agree with city but just wanted to add that whether you continue with bfing, go to combined feeding or fully ff I would get the tt checked as it can affect how well they take the bottle and solids later on Smile

minipie · 04/09/2013 20:12

Just one thing to add - try taking a lecithin supplement, it is said to help avoid blocked ducts, I found it helped me.

good luck whatever you decide

CityDweller · 04/09/2013 21:17

Yy to lecithin! I forgot about that, but I took it as recommended on Kellymom I think for a month or so after my last bout of mastitis as I kept on getting blocked ducts. I really do think it helped

CelticPromise · 04/09/2013 21:26

Artijoke I really feel for you, and I hope you recover soon and make a choice you are happy with.

If the problem is in the same place have you considered continuing just on the other breast?

DoItTooJulia · 04/09/2013 21:27

Oh you poor thing, this sounds horrible.

Stopping bf is an area woefully lacking in advice. I was desperate to stop too at 8 months ish. I tried the gentle approach of dropping feeds and it simply didn't work for me.

I think you need to do two things. One, move dc onto bottles cold turkey. Stop feeding him directly from your breasts.

Then secondly, deal with your milk supply. Stopping draining your breast when you have mastitis is unlikely to help, so you will need to keep on expressing. What I mean is your ds doesn't feed from you, but you can't just leave your breasts full of milk, so you need to manage that.

I stopped cold turkey and didn't express anything at all, but I didn't have mastitis. This method is absolutely not recommended.

I think it might help if you express at the normal times he would feed but gradually express less and less at each sitting. So if you are getting say 3 oz from each breast, stop at 2.5 oz and so on.

Pm me if you want to. I started a couple of threads about stopping. I will look for them and link if it helps.

I really hope you get this sorted. X

Original poster
Artijoke · 05/09/2013 10:00

Thank you so much for all this advice and support.

I had never thought of feeding only on one side but that is a very interesting idea. I may try it. I still have to figure out how to drop feeds on the bad side and that is more difficult as I can't express, I've never got on with it, it hurts and v little comes out. I guess slowly phasing out feeds is probably the way forward. I will also look into that supplement before I drop any feeds.

I've got yet another set of antibiotics. The GP mentioned a breast scan to see why this keeps happening. That scared me a little as my mother died of breast cancer. He didn't refer me though so I'm not sure whether he decided against it.

OP posts:
RedKites · 05/09/2013 15:10

I hope you are feeling much better by now. I don't think it has been linked to yet, but there is a Kellymom page on recurrent mastitis which might be useful to you.

tywysogesgymraeg · 05/09/2013 15:13

Just pack it in. I persisted, and ended up in hospital having a cyst removed, and was laid up for several weeks, not being able to hold DD1 because I was in so much pain.

By that point I'd had several rounds of ABs, but they hadn't helped.

EldritchCleavage · 05/09/2013 15:27

Just popping in to say I'm glad the thread has cheered you. I was almost a one boob only feeder with DD (my second), so it can work. But really, the message is don't feel you have to. Your needs count for a lot too.

LAF77 · 05/09/2013 16:54

I am only feeding on one side and DS is 17 months. I found out 2 days ago he has a posterior tongue tie and ULT. this would explain why he couldn't feed on my right side. Do you have an ibclc near you that could help check?

Original poster
Artijoke · 05/09/2013 18:33

What is an ibclc? I've never heard of that. The HV said no tongue tie.

OP posts: