I really want to breast feed 5 day old DS

[DreamingOfTheMaldives]

I am currently still in hospital with DS who was born 5 days ago. I have been trying to breast feed am developing a really good supply - the problem is getting DS to latch on and stay latched on.

He had to have some formula from a cup on the first day due to low blood sugars (I had gestational
Diabetes) and I was struggling to feed him - getting his sugars back up was more important than how.

We've only managed 2 x 5 minute breast feeds in the last 5 days and both of those have been with assistance from the midwives and nurses. They tried to help a number of times but unsuccessfully. DS had slight tongue tie which was snipped yesterday but hasn't helped.

The problem seems to be that we struggle to get him latched on and he gets frustrated and angry very quickly - we try to calm him down so we can keep trying but he often wears himself out and ends up falling asleep without feeding. This resulted in a very stressed baby and me and i really couldnt cope. I gave him a little formula in a cup and then started expressing and feeding in a cup which has made him more chilled out and content because he is actually now getting some food!

The problem though is that he still won't latch on regularly - when he does latch he has a great suck and guzzles away for a few seconds but he seems to get frustrated when the flow pauses briefly and he comes off or gets angry when he can't get latched on instantly. As I say, we've had only 2 successful short feeds despite loads of help from staff at the hospital, tongue snipped and a good supply. It's not a positioning problem as all the staff have said that is good. It seems to be a short tempered baby problem!

I am desperately hoping we can go home today and have decided to hire a breast pump to take home for a couple of weeks to keep my supply increasing - the midwives have said they don't advise cup feeding at home due to the increased risk of asphyxiation without medical assistance nearby.

We have just tried him with a bottle of breast milk as we wanted to be sure we had a way of feeding him when we go home as without cups and if I can't get him to latch on we'd be in a mess. He fed from the bottle no problem and guzzled away - it broke my heart to see him drinking from the bottle - I don't want to upset anyone with my next comment but it just looked so ugly. It's a ridiculous thing to say but it's how I felt - i was crying my eyes out while giving him the bottle and still haven't stopped an hour later. I wasn't even that bothered about breast feeding whilst pregnant, just felt that it was something I would try but wouldn't beat myself up about if I couldn't (but now look at the state of me!) I have bottle fed friend's babies for them and thought it was lovely, really enjoyed the experience but I hated having to do it for DS. Why on earth do I feel like this, apart from the hormones and the 12 hours sleep in total over the last 4 nights! I've surprised myself with how much I've enjoyed feeding DS even for those odd moments when he has latched on and sucked - it just feels so wonderful. (God, what on earth has happened to the woman who really struggled to come to terms with my pregnancy despite baby being completely planned!)

I can't express and then bottle feed at home in the long term - I know others do but I don't feel my personal circumstances are conducive to that. I will do it for a week or 2 as a means to feeding DS until I can sort out breast feeding, if I ever can. My lazy feisty baby may well decide he's not going to bother feeding from me when the bottle is so much less effort.

What can I do to get him to feed from me and where can I get assistance once back home?

Any advice would be really appreciated. And I am sorry for the 'ugly' comment, but please don't slate me for it as I am feeling very emotional at the moment and just wanted to explain exactly what's been happening and how I feel about it.

Oh OP. congratulations.

Have you tried stripping to your waist, laying him on your chest with his head between your breasts and letting him find the nipple himself? How often is he having the other feeds? Is he calm when you offer him the boob?

I would try spending the next 2 days with him solidly on you in the day. Let him sleep under you top and him just in nappy. Or just under a blanket on you.

That way he can root around unlimited all day and you can try him often to get him to learn to latch ( ie at least very hour)

You could try biological nurturing

It's also called "laid-back nursing" see kellymom

Can you ask the midwife if there is a breastfeeding group nearby? My local children's centre runs one as does the baby clinic. You could also try contacting an nct breastfeeding counselor or la leche league for help.

Congratulations onyour new baby!
Sorry for typos- phone has gone mad.
Wgen you get home- and I do hope they discharge you today as yiu want- climb ito bed. Take baby. Stay rhere, being waited on hand foot, with baby, clithes off, lots of hugging and holding in privacy of your own home. Cancel the visitors you can and get someone else to do all household tasks.
Whem you aee discharged they should give you written details of bf suppott in your area, including mw sipport in your home. Telephone helplines have already been mentioned abive, as well as groups for whem you are up for leaving the hpuse. In some areas you can also pay for private bf supporter if that is something you can stretch to- I sid this with dd2 last year and jt was invaluable. Good luck!!

This can be controversial but here goes - buy some
Medela nipple shields. You tube how to put then on effectively and nurse using those. They are a life saver. You can wean you baby off them later if you need
To but I used them for 5 months ebf and they were a life saver. Masses and masses of good luck and lots of love xxxxx (pm me if you want to chat more)

Hi. First of all congratulations on your new baby. I'm no expert on breast feeding but I just wanted to say keep going if you feel you can. A friend of mine had a similar problem and it took nearly 2 weeks to get breast feeding up and running properly. She had a lot a great support from the community midwives in our area. She fed her ds using expressed milk and a syringe (like the plastic ones u get with calpol) and a cup - both under midwife supervision - until her baby got his latch sorted. She's now been feeding for 10 months and has no intention of stopping anytime soon.

If you contact your local children's centre they usually have bf support groups and can sometimes refer you bf supports that will come and see u at home for free.

Please try not to beat your self up about using a bottle. I can understand you point of view on it. But perhaps try to bear in mind that using a bottle for expressed milk from time to time will give you a much needed rest in these early weeks. My own ds was bottle fed expressed milk once a day from 10days old. It was lovely bonding time for him and his daddy and meant I could catch up on sleep before the night shit began all over again. I will say thou that I was only able to introduce a bottle so young because he had an excellent latch and fed beautifully and I did so on the advice of the midwives as he was a big baby that wanted to feed 24/7 and I needed rest. But I'm still going 11 months later. So using a bottle too needent be such a bad thing.

I remember how emotional and drained I felt at 5 days. The best advice I could offer is to trust your instincts and to with it. It took me a while to trust mine and in hindsight they were always right, even if I didn't have the confidence to follow them at the time. Best of luck, it does get much easier xxx

Congratulations

Well done on wanting to stick to Breastfeeding, I think if you're struggling with it it's very easy to give up, you need to be determined. Skin to skin contact is very important and what someone else said further down about staying in bed with baby is a good idea too.

I had bf support worker come and see me several times and also borrowed a pump from them, she was really helpful and I felt I could do it in front of her but struggled when I was on my own!

Completely understand your thoughts about not wanting to see your baby with a bottle, I had the same reaction, a mix of hormones and the fact that I was so determined to bf I didn't realise how difficult it would be for me.

Keep trying little and often, you may have to keep offering ebm just as a top up. You will get there, it took me weeks before I felt confident with feeding. I hope you have the support from your partner because that's a big help too.

Good luck x

I had similar problems with getting my ds to latch and feed properly after him being in SCBU for 5 days or so. We used the Medela Calma bottle systems to give ebm, and I felt that they really helped to persuade ds to try harder on the breast. The Calma teats (or other similar systems) are not free flow - baby has to suck like breastfeeding to get milk. My ds would only feed for seconds at the breast before getting really cross and angry at not getting milk quickly. Once he got used to the Calma bottles, I felt it helped him get into the habit of working for his milk iyswim. Maybe worth trying the Calma or similar?

I don't really have any great advice here, but I just wanted to say my DD was the same. it would take her ages to latch on and even though she wasn't crying when we started, she would get so frustrated so quickly when she latched on for a few seconds and then came off! Her instant crying made it even worse!

Now she's 4 weeks old and occasionally she'll be fussy latching on-coming off after a few sucks and then crying. When that happens I usually switch her to my other breast and for some reason she always seems to latch on straight away :S

Most of the time though she latches on straight away which is such a relief! Hopefully your LO will be like mine and just need a little bit more practise :) x

Feel for you
Also had GD
dc3 low blood sugar and topped up with formula for 2 days
dc3 slept soundly for 5 days
Luckily my milk supply was ok due to dc2

Only suggestion is to go to bed and stay in bed naked with baby for as long as you can for the next few days offering the breast whenever he wants it

I would not use bottles or nipple shields due to nipple confusion and yes he does have to work for it more with the breast
I know it is frustrating for you both - he gets fractious and tosses from side to side with frustration ....but i would persevere with it even if it is hit and miss and cosleeping/lying down allows you to experiment more with different positions?

But i know from personal exp tis easier said than done...it is just the only thing that has ever worked for me. The calma suggestion sounded like a decent compromise though
Good luck

I used nipple shields with both of mine ( had inverted nipples.) worked a treat and breast fed one for nine months and the other for 13 months. Neither seemed to get confused- without them I would probably given up.

I found the positioning difficult at first but I was told a little mantra by a lovely breast feeding consultant - " tummy to mummy, nipple to nose" it made such sense and I never looked back.

Good luck- I remember how frustrating it was a first.

It might be worth seeing if you can find a lactation consultant to check the tongue-tie. Sometimes an obvious tie can be hiding a posterior one which does need someone with experience to locate.

I know how difficult & emotionally draining it can be to establish feeding - both of mine have been really tricky. It is possible for the majority of women though so be as stubborn as necessary to get the support you need! But don't beat yourself up if you do get to the point where you need to ff for your own sanity!

If you can possibly afford it pay for a lactation consultant to come to you, whether in hospital or at home. Midwives often don't have proper training and ddefinitely don't have time to spend with you. The LC I found came to my home and spent several hours with us. Afterwards she was available by phone and text for any questions. A lifesaver. DS is 5 months and despite a very rocky start we are still going strong

Congratulations and good luck. Be stubborn - you can do this!!

Thanks for all your replies and sorry for the slow response. I read the replies on Sunday but don't seem to have had a spare 5 minutes to reply.

I have calmed down somewhat after my hormonal meltdown and have bottle fed DS with expressed milk without thinking it looks hideous. It was always my intention to introduce a bottle (perhaps even of formula) as I am self employed and may have to go to meetings in only a few weeks, so why I reacted the way I did to giving him a bottle I have no idea - probably hormones and lack of sleep.

We got out of hospital on Sunday and actually had a little but of success feeding whilst still there - I was probably more relaxed knowing we were going home. I had some more success yesterday and the midwife was really helpful - managed a 10 min feed with her assistance.

Last night wasn't so good though so gave him expressed milk rather after a few minutes if trying to latch on. We've got a Tommee Tippee bottle and alsove realised that there's no point continue to try once me and DS are stressed. Just done his 11am feed - a full 15 min feed!!!

So it seems we're getting there together, very slowly but surely.

Thanks very much for all your suggestions and support, it's good to know there is always someone only a screen away who can offer advice and support.

Right, just jumping in the shower and then we're heading out for a very quick lunch - our first trip out. [scared but excited emoticon!] Going to take expressed milk though as I'm not ready for breast feeding in public just yet!!

Great news! Glad that doing a bit of both is working!

Just be mindful that it will be worth really working at latch etc.It might not seem it now but constant expressing is very draining too!

Congratulations, Mummy!

Your breastfeeding frustrations are quite common and I hope to offer some support. My son was born pretty big, therefore had low-blood sugar when he got out and stayed at the nursery for the night. He was given sugar water there.

When he was given to me to nurse, he wasn't too keen about waiting for the let-down, even after many tries. In the end, I decided to pump and bottle feed him, then try to latch him on when he's not fussy/angry anymore because of hunger. After 3 weeks, we bottled-fed less and breastfed directly.

I used a manual pump similar to this: mamaway.co.uk/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=28&products_id=94 and it did the job well. If you want to save time, you can also get an electronic dual pump so you can pump more milk.

Wishing you the best!