Is breast feeding possible without using a dummy?

[mummymacaroni]

My DS is 8 weeks now, I bf exclusively for the first 4 weeks but I felt like I was constantly feeding as he was always "mouthing" and putting him on my breast was the only way that he would calm down.
I then switched to combined bottle & breast feeding because he seemed more settled when bottle-fed which made me think he was never getting enough when bf.

However, what I didn't realise until it was too late, was that he probably just wanted to suck something and that he was using me as a dummy basically (I have never given him a dummy) so probably was getting enough after all.

But my question is, if he just wants to suck something then how else can he be settled or get out of that habit if a) I strongly don't want to give him a dummy and b) I strongly don't want to be his human dummy all the time?

Sometimes holding him and patting his back soothes him but I'd have to do it all day long and would never get anything else done! So what is the answer? How can I have a settled baby without having to give him a dummy or hold him all day?

Absolutely possible, in fact I think they still recommend not using a dummy to avoid nipple confusion (prepared to be wrong about that)

I know it seems like he fed constantly but those first few weeks are about establishing your supply and so they do feed a lot quite often. It usually settles after a bit.

totally possible. My DD never had a dummy.

My LO had a dummy but once she found her fingers, she was no longer interested in it x

Thanks RhondaJean & gaggiagirl, how did you get yours to settle?

My dd refused a dummy too, I didn't know what to do as ds1 was a dummy addict!

I tried to avoid letting her fall asleep on the breast, hard to do I know, but I put her down fed, clean and winded in a room with some background noise. I picked her up if she howled but not if she was grizzly, and she did learn to sleep by herself sometimes, although sometimes I had no choice but to be the human dummy!

The other thing is time. It's tough now, but in a few more weeks the human dummy phase will be over, and in a few more months he'll be crawling away. Have you tried having him in a sling, as a way to get him settled and get things done?

A sling is a good idea TipsyandTom, I might have to try that.

The washing machine.

If they were being unsettled,I popped them in a bouncy chair in front of the washing machine. Sounds bonkers but they both loved it.

Some babies just like being held more than others though I think.

My DD found her thumb when she was 12 weeks so she was happy with that.

I did spend most of my life with my boob in her mouth prior to that to be fair but I didn't have anything better to do so I didn't mind.

To be it was important bonding time, she needed to be near her mammy and I was happy to oblige.

the bouncy chair was also a godsend.

A thumb makes a perfectly acceptable dummy and is always available - plus it has the advantage that later on when the baby is a toddler they will choose to take their thumb out of their mouth in order to play with toys.

However I think the phrase "using the breast as a dummy" is unhelpful and rather offensive. If a baby finds it comforting to be connected to its mother that intimately, that is not the same thing - a dummy is not an inherently natural part of a young mammal's experience after all.

Could you use a sling so that your baby can suckle at will without you having to be sat down unable to do what you want to for quite so long?

All three of mine BFed and none of them had a dummy.
I also haven't bothered restricting them falling asleep at the boob/sucking for comfort etc.
it really depends on the baby.

With DD it was hard work until she was about 1, with DS1 the hard work was only for about 3 months and with DS2 he has been super relaxed and happily goes without any boob for 6 hours or so if we're out and doesn't get tetchy.
To settle them (other than boob) I used sling, bouncy chair, pushchair, rocking in my arms, back patting and sometimes they just fell/fall asleep without me doing anything! :)

Agree with Iris- when babies suck dummies they are using that as a nipple, not visa versa!

I have never used dummies and breastfed 2 dc. Tbh, they have sucked for comfort a fair amount, but it's only for a limited time.

Agree with sling recommendation, or singing/white noise can work well for some babies too.

I ebf both mine, ds1 to 18mo, ds2 is 16mo and still ebf. Neither of them had a dummy, I hate them and therefore would not use one. Tbh they did use me as a human dummy in the first few weeks but ds1 started settling himself after a feed reasonably well from about 9wks, ds2 discovered his thumb about the same time and he was/is a real thumb sucker, ds2 also has a comforter (one of the jellycat bunnies) that he sucks the ear of. You could try always putting a comfort blanket/soft toy in and see if he likes it - it'll take a little while. 8wks is still v little to self settle but certainly no need (IMO) to use a dummy

EBFed both my boys, neither had a dummy. But they were always on the breast. I think sometimes people's expectations of BFing are different from the reality! I remember DS2 being on my boob for 16 hours once....

Hi, I agree with Sofaking in that you probably need (eventually) to get into a habit of putting him down fed, not letting him fall asleep on the boob, and encourage him to learn to settle himself to sleep.

BUt having said that, I think 8 weeks is probably a little bit early to be trying to get him to settle, and also in my humble opinion, far too early to be worrying about getting other stuff done too ! He just wants the comfort of you, they digest breast milk quite quickly so he'll want to feed often. Just go with the flow, if he needs lots of little feeds then just go with it for a few more weeks.

I had twins first time around and they were exclusively b/f and never had dummies, we put them down swaddled, did have issues getting them to settle, but it worked out in the end and they were fantastic at settling themselves. I did feed on demand for the 1st 6 months and gave up sleep but established a bit more of a pattern after that.

DD2 - never had a dummy either, also b/f but she was so clingy - she only slept on my / DH's chest for the 1st 10 weeks! She just would not go down no matter what we tried but we got her into a feeding routine relatively quickly.

So the short answer to your question is that there is absolutely no problem with breast feeding and not giving a dummy.

It is possible. DD had a dummy for a couple of weeks when we were dealing with tongue tie and comfort suckling was excruciating.

DS is 15 days old, and no tongue tie. He cluster feeds in the evening, but goes 2-2.5hrs between feeds in day and 3-4hours overnight. To get stuff done, I baby wear - moby wrap is sanity saving for me!

I just fed DD2 fairly continuously, just felt the right thing to do. DD1 approved because when I fed her sister I read to her, or admired her duplo creations, much better than mum doing housework. DH is a good cook and neither of us give a stuff about housework beyond stuffing things in the washer.

I didn't use a dummy for either of mine. Both were ebf (no formula at all) until 6 months. DD fed until she was 3.4 and DS is going strong at 23 months. I put them both in a sling and allowed unfettered access to the breast. It isn't being a dummy. It's comfort, a drink, a snack, a full feed, an aid to establishing supply and a brilliant way to make your baby content. With ds in particular (had an older child who needed me to be up and about), I just stuck him in the sling and got on with it. Supply established much faster this way too.

DS had no interest in a dummy at all (DP gave it a go at around the peak of sleep deprivation) - if he wanted to suck, then it had to be me (he's never shown any interest in fingers/thumbs/sucking bits of toys either)

He fed to sleep until he was about 2 for most naps and bedtimes though - I didn't mind, but if that would drive you loopy you'd have to find another solution.

No dummy here for 3x ebf but i do understand what you mean about feeling like a human dummy. All three have co-slept, all three went in slings and/or prams and had baby bouncers. None of them tbh have ever self-settled - dc3 sucks on fingers but will still fret if half awake. I boob them to sleep then delatch and run away!

I have nothing against dummies btw - i had also heard they led to nipple confusion though but also have no problem with them comfort eating - i do it often enough myself . Feeding on demand for me has always been to their timetable esp as you don't know how many ounces they are getting but it's doable - i have an ergo and have used that when out and about. Am pretty hopeless slinging a baby while trying to do houssework or bending though that's why i am a slattern and my house is a tip

I never used a dummy with mine and all 4 were bf. In the early days they do need to be at the breast a lot but it does settle down. All times they go to the breast are important, the older they get the less they want to go to the breast.

Long term it will affect supply to use dummies and bottles.

I caved in after a week and gave my DD a dummy (despite being adamant that I wasn't going to). She needed to comfort suckle when she was a newborn, and the time I found her with 6 fingers in her mouth and the other 4 in her eyes (I'm not kidding!) was when I decided to give her the dummy. Now at 11 weeks she doesn't need it for comfort nearly as much. Sometimes she wants it, sometimes she actively gags if I offer it to her. I think she will wean herself off of it, but it was a lifesaver (for me!) in the early weeks