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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Can I have a BFing debrief?

42 replies

TruthSweet · 29/08/2013 10:16

I'm not sure if anyone remembers me but I was fairly active on this board for a few years though I haven't been on for about a year.

Bfing DD4 has been so hard and I feel like such a failure. She's allergic to so much and it's just so difficult, she's like a limpet most of the time and can't sleep with out nursing for most of the night. I'm getting touched out & I just want things to be easier.

OP posts:

SunnyIntervals · 31/08/2013 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

TruthSweet · 31/08/2013 14:45

Nothings - I did think that I can eat dairy as giving it up changed nothing for her. Me not eating wheat made a massive difference in 48h.

I went wheat free when I was 20w pg for DD3 as DD3 was 'still' nursing then and stayed wheat free until DD3 weaned when DD4 was about 5w old. Unfortunately then I went a bit wheat crazy - I missed things like toast and fruit bread so much (combined with being starving hungry from bfing 20h a day) I gorged on all things wheaty. This coincided with DD4's reflux moving from problematic to spectacular but I was so sleep deprived I just didn't twig. She also used to vomit while still latched on and just carried on feeding

Anywhoo, the massively unsettled, clingy, feeding all the time, no sleeping thing sounds like DD4, does your DS get black baggy eyes too? She looks like she's been punched sometimes. It sounds like I may have to go back to no dairy & beef for a while but as always it will be worth it (says she eyeing up some milk chocolate!)

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Original poster

TruthSweet · 31/08/2013 14:59

Hi Sunny, it's beginning to feel like I'm fishing for compliments now ! Obv. I don't 'know' who you are but it's nice to reconnect with people all the same. Congrats on getting through your own bfing challenges

I do think self-flagellation must be my super power there's always something I could have done better!

There's a LLL in the next town once a month so I think I'll give it a go. I actually went to 'my' bfing group yesterday (the one I volunteered with) but while I didn't really get much support as such, it was good to catch up with a few old friends. I guess because I used to be one of the most active supporters it's a bit weird for them to turn round and support me (they are supportive IYSWIM but not in a practical sense).

Thank you for the virtual flowers, I shall go and put them in some water and find a vase for them (why are my vases always at the back of the cupboard...?)

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ShowOfHands · 31/08/2013 15:02

I remember you, of course. You're lovely.

I have a little ds of 23 months who has no medical issues to speak of but has been the clingiest child since 5 months. He was in hospital with double pneumonia and had some hideous crap done to him. From that point, you couldn't peel him from me. Even a 5 minute car journey would leave him sweating and sobbing and screaming for me. His go to comfort was breastmilk. And particularly at night, plastered against me, feeding on and off for hours. He would obsessively twiddle my other nipple while feeding, squawking if stopped, sobbing even in his sleep if I moved inches from him. Nobody could comfort or console him and I was so touched out my skin would crawl. I wanted to shove him and the world a million miles away and would spend feeds with my teeth grinding, my muscles clenched, craving my own space.

I know this is nothing compared to the additional issues you have but as a peer supporter myself, I felt really crap about how little I was enjoying feeding. BUT not only did I remind myself that I went through the same with dd (fed to 3.4) and in a way it's just a part of giving your body over to somebody else's whims, but also know that he's got much better with time. From about 19 months, I've managed to introduce some bfing etiquette. He still demands it in the queue at Waitrose and can become ridiculously territorial about my body but slowly but surely we're working out a better balance. I'm enjoying bfing again now.

I don't know if it helps to know that even without the reflux and tt issues, bfing can just be that way sometimes and you're ruddy marvellous to battle on like you do.

SunnyIntervals · 31/08/2013 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NothingsLeft · 31/08/2013 19:19

I had a similar thing truth with dairy. I was intolerant to it for most of my pregnancy. I then ate cheese and chocolate mouse by the shed load after the birth. I do wonder if this contributed in some way by overloading his system in the early days but who knows.

It also caused really bad reflux and he choked on his own vomit one night and we ended up in A&E. The gastro pead we saw at the time suggested cutting dairy & soy.

DS gets the allergic shiners. Poor thing looked totally washed out and haggard. It took me a long time to realise i needed to be as careful with his stuff as i am with gluten.

I've accidentally eaten dairy & soy this week for the first time in months. He has been hard work the last few days, really whiny, clingy and completely unsatisfiable, which makes me feel guilty and irritable all in one go!

NothingsLeft · 02/09/2013 12:46

How are things truth?

Original poster

TruthSweet · 02/09/2013 14:28

Not so bad, we're all as in McDonald's and having happy meals as an end of the holidays treat

She spent a few days where she fed less and settled at night better but I had a vat of haagen daas yesterday (on offer in Sainsbury's) and she was very unsettled last night. Today she looks like she's been boxing!

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NothingsLeft · 02/09/2013 21:26

Mad isn't it how quickly they come up! I would never have believed it before DS. Still love BFing though.

Strangely envious of your happy meals...I would love a cheese burger! Fingers crossed for a better night

Original poster

TruthSweet · 03/09/2013 13:32

Not a great night, I think her reflux may be coming back. She was throwing herself around screaming in agony but we haven't got any of her reflux meds left in date so she had calpol which did work after a bit. Cons. has said she can go back on omeprazole so that might be an option too.

We go to McD as DD3 can have a burger (just the meat) and chips but not worry about what's in it. Plus they are very flexible about special orders. Not nutritionally the greatest but it makes travelling so much easier.

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NothingsLeft · 03/09/2013 15:03

I'm very much limited to McD's type places with the coeliac thing. I know they have good controls & are always safe. They are pretty much the only place I can get instant hot food & I'm completely addicted to their hash browns! Not the healthiest but a nice treat from all the non-dairy/soy/gluten health foods I'm forced to eat. A cheeseburger would be delish

DS is on omeprazole and it has made a big difference. His reflux got worse around 11-12 months, so they switched him from ranitidine. I've not been brave enough to try him med free yet. We are on a reasonable roll for once & I'm too scared to change anything! I found infant gaviscon has helped too in emergencies.

gotadifferentnamenow · 03/09/2013 19:41

TruthSweet, I remember you. You gave me wonderful advice and support (I was under a different name then) in the earlier days of my bf (I think I was mostly posting on here about repeated bouts of thrush - DS was much later diagnosed with TT and has always had a v pronounced and problematic lip tie. He was also v limpet-like and still sometimes is, at 17mo, and has never bloody slept).

Anyway. I don't have any advice, I'm afraid, and your challenges pretty much dwarf mine. But I hear what you're saying about wanting to run away from the uncomfortableness and crap of it all. You will get past this, and sooner than you think. What generous mothering your daughters have all had.

hazchem · 07/09/2013 09:30

Just wondering how you are going TruthSweet.

Original poster

TruthSweet · 07/09/2013 16:10

Not so bad. DD4 is going great guns - charging around the house with her walker dragging the broom behind her and raiding the shopping bags for fruit pouches! (Does everyone know the refrain - Hello, puppy calling, do you want to play with me? ARGH!!)

She's still up a fair bit at night but tends to go to sleep fairly quickly so it's not too horrific (though I was so tired the other night I kept head butting my phone as I dozed off reading BuzzFeed!). She even had a 3h nap one evening

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hazchem · 08/09/2013 05:36

Oh dear god that song!!!!!!!!!! It was all but gone.
That is good to hear things are a bit calmer. The 3 hour nap sounds good.

Original poster

TruthSweet · 08/09/2013 09:43

Sorry haz! The puppy song and the one from the Leapfrog activity centre are indelibly seared into my brain after just DD1. Now we are onto DD4, they will never leave me. I suspect my last words will be 'Baba-doo-ah, baba-doo-ah'

She only woke up once last night and then slept until 7.30am!

OP posts:

NothingsLeft · 08/09/2013 12:48

Wow that's amazing!! One wake up is so much more doable.

Did you try the dairy free?

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