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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

No more 'oobie' - how awful is this going to be?

15 replies

DuelingFanjo · 26/08/2013 21:19

DS is 2 years and 8 months and still breatfeeds regularly. He is in nursery (or with my mum) five days a week but at weekends or days off he still ask for 'oobie' regularly and lately has been attached to my boobs constantly through the night. We co sleep. I had thought I would carry on until he self weaned but I am getting no sleep and his constant pestering in the day is bugging me.

I tried to refuse the boob one night last week and we ended up downstairs, him wide awake and screaming as if his world had ended. DH took him (DS was really angry) but then when I took him back to bed he immediately latched on. I am working full time and have always found it easier to co-sleep and feed but latelysem to spend more time awake than asleep.

At the worst moments I feel like I just want him off me. I have read a bit about the jay Gordon method of night weaning but is it going to be more difficult with an older milk monster?

Help.

OP posts:

caringmummy2013 · 26/08/2013 23:29

Does little one have a dummy as it's a comfort thing at that age rather than need for drink in night...thinking maybe switch one for other although going to be tough going until gets used to it One of my friends was told to give her little one bowl of porridge before going to bed so he slept better with full tummy sometimes made him forget about latching on so she could catch some sleep

feekerry · 27/08/2013 12:23

go away for a few nights and leave ds with dh. thats what i did and it workes great. i was convinced dd would have meltdown, dh wouldnt cope etc but all was fine and when i returned it was much easier just to say no, booby finished now and distract...
2 months on we still talk about booby every single bloody day but she no longer asks to feed
just likes to talk about them lol!!

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 27/08/2013 15:01

He's never had a dummy so I wouldn't want to introduce one at such a late stage. The porridge might be a good idea but I don't think he would eat it to be honest. We are trying to fill him up with milk and yoghurt and snacks before bed but I am pretty sure it's not hunger that is waking him.

I am probably a total wuss but going away for a few nights sounds really scary - for me and for him! Maybe I could just leave the house while DH settles him.

OP posts:

feekerry · 27/08/2013 18:38

i felt exactly the same as you re going away. in fact i worried myself sick about it as i had never ever spent a night awat from dd, in fact not even a day!!
plus till that point i had done all the nights as dd refused to be settled by dh.
however it worked fine. totally fine. night one dd woke 7 times and poor dh just had to keep going in and rocking and patting etc. there were no tears btw as i think she knew i wasnt in the house. night 2 she slept thru for the first time ever and has done ever since. i returned on night 4.
i still saw dd every day but met them at park etc so she was distracted about asking for a feed!

gamerchick · 27/08/2013 18:40

I went away for a week and that sorted it out. Being 'out of the house' for bedtimes might be a start though.. although probably a pain for you. Leave dad to deal with it.

OrganixAddict · 27/08/2013 18:48

Am in exactly your situation with Dc3. First 2 self weaned way before 2 years, this one still wants mummy milk at 2.8. Is fine at childminders and when I've had odd nights away, but if i'm in house she will cry / beg / scream for me /it. Having just returned from holiday saying same as I did last year, that I was stopping, I am typing this on phone with her latched to me as I have no idea how to actually do it...

mineswine · 29/08/2013 13:22

Really interested in hearing what others have done. DC2 is nearly two and still feeds at night, managed to stop feeding during the day at the start of the summer holidays, she was feeding like a newborn some days and it was wearing me out. I've decided (and would be interested to hear if anyone else has done this) that I'm going to go cold turkey and just not feed her at night and hope that after a couple of nights she'll start to settle, or am I just living in a bubble! Love the idea of going away for a few nights too.

frankietwospots · 29/08/2013 13:51

I stopped doing the bedtime feed with DS last Sunday night. He's 20 months. It's been a gradual process. A few months ago, I stopped the morning feed by telling him 'All gone' and by wearing a dressing gown so that he couldn't pull my top up. Then, co-incidentally, we had all that hot weather in July which meant that he only woke up for water during the night, not a Mummy feed. He occasionally lifts my top up when he wakes in the night, but I just offer water in a sippy cup instead. So that just left the bedtime feed which was the hardest for me to let go. I had two nights of sensing that my flow wasn't very good as he wasn't swallowing and nibbling me a bit with his teeth. Owww! So I had a chat with DH and he offered to put DS to bed on the Sunday night. As it happened, DS asked for Weetabix just before bathtime, so I gave him a small bowl as I thought it would be a good milky substitute. After bathtime, I said 'Night night' to DS and DH took him upstairs. There was a slight protest but nothing more. DH has been putting him to bed since Sunday and every night has been pretty good. I think there is a lot of truth in 'out of sight, out of mind' so I just stay downstairs and keep quiet until DS is asleep.

Weirdly, when DS has woken up during the night (he has an annoying cough which keeps disturbing him), he has asked for DH and not me! But of course, I end up going in to give him water/cough medicine as DH rarely shifts his arse at night.

What I'm not sure of is when I can start putting DS to bed again. Will he just think he'll get a feed again, even if a week of no feeds has gone by? I plan to say 'All gone' but I bet you anything that he kicks off! I've never given him a word for my boobs so at least he can't ask for it, other than lifting my top up!

NightLark · 29/08/2013 14:04

It took a night of furious screaming from DD2, followed by 3 or 4 nights of gradually lessening outbursts to break the night feeding at around 24 months old, but I still haven't managed to knock the bedtime or first thing in the morning feeds on the head.

With the nighttime feeds I did the Dr Sears thing of saying that the milk had gone to bed too. Just 'no, nighttime, milk all asleep', over and over.

I really ought to deal with the remaining 2 feeds, I'm just a softhearted fool as she makes it clear how much she loves it.

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 29/08/2013 16:53

sorry to hear so many of you are feeling the same but thanks for the support. The continual night-time feeding has stopped (now only getting woken once) - either that or I have got used to it! Still not done anything about it but I have been refusing to feed him once we are out of bed. I think I am going to try to tackle daytime feeds instead and hope that he gets the message.

OP posts:

OrganixAddict · 29/08/2013 22:14

Let me know how it goes. I'm doing opposite and trying to end night time feeds - 3 nights of refusing to feed at 2am and we are down to 5mins of crying. If / when she sleeps through that one, the 5am one is next on my hit list...
What is the Dr Sears thing? Might be easier to achieve if I have plan to follow.

dappleton · 30/08/2013 09:44

DeulingFanjo - just go for it, DS is also 28months, I stopped all day feeds about 12months ago just by saying no and being consistent. I was still left with feed to sleep, overnight feeds and early morning - stopped early morning about 2 months ago just by DH agreeing to wake up early and use breakfast and TV as a distraction until he forgot about it, it actually only took 3 days and he woke up without even asking. The rest of the feeds I stopped 2weeks ago - I had just had enough. First night I went out and DH put DS to bed which was apparently easy as DS accepted I wasn't there so just went to sleep as he would during the day. 2nd night with me home he screamed until about 2am but I just wore a high neck top so I couldn't give in and kept telling him 'milk has finished', next 2 nights he made a bit of a fuss but was asleep by 10pm. After that he just accepted it and has a cuddle to sleep and that's that...wish I had done it 6months ago!

jessieagain · 30/08/2013 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jessieagain · 30/08/2013 23:42

Hi I cut down breastfeeding my ds (26 months) about a month ago. We basically cut down cold turkey to one feed (morning one). Dp helped a lot and we just explained to ds that he was going to be having less milk. He did cry at first but he seemed to understand somewhat and wasn't that upset. Before we cut down he was still waking at night for 1 or 2 feeds and was feeding about 3 times in the day.

I think he was ready to stop. Since cutting back he has been sleeping through for the first time ever, or sometimes wakes and just needs to be told to go back to sleep which he does without much of a fuss. I think he was just ready.

We have kept the morning feed, so if he wants feeding at any other time I tell him he has to wait until morning/or that he already has some that morning. Will probably drop that last feed in the next month or so.

FetchezLaVache · 30/08/2013 23:45

I just explained to DS that he couldn't have Cuddle Me More at night any more when he was about 18 months, he would have to wait until morning, and he just accepted it. Similarly I just stopped feeding him before bed when he was about 2.6, because I was fed up of always having to do bedtime, and he was fine with it. Still feeding now at 3.4, just about, although they're getting further and further apart!

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