Stopping bf with a toddler, advice please!

[mac12]

Advice please from wise mumsnetters. DS2 is almost 2 and still has bf before bed and sometimes at nap time. I never meant to bf for this long but he would never take a bottle and amid all the hurly burly of life it was the path of least resistance to continue. But I'm done now and want my body back. DS1 and DD both stopped before the age of 1 but DS2 is showing no signs of losing interest in what he calls "milk time" and gets upset with me if DH takes him for a nap instead. Tips please on how to wean him off. And how long do you think it will take for him to move on?

No advice, I'm in the same boat (few weeks younger though).
Hopefuily someone very wise will be along soon...

Do hope so. I really never thought we'd be approaching his second birthday and he'd still be bf. The year sort of slipped by and now he's really attached to the whole process - and he's a stubborn little fella. I see some miserable bedtimes ahead...

I haven't any advice as my stopped of their own accord under one. But I remember somebody I knew having a dreadful time and the poor little one was screaming and screaming for her before bed feed and the Mum was like you wanting to stop. But didn't know how. I hope someone will come along with some good advice.

first i would cut the nap time one out.

maybe have a week or so when you are ALWAYS busy doing something at nap time... either out in the car, or got him in the buggy etc etc so that he just doesn't have a chance to nurse to sleep. then distract. if he asks again before nap just say "oh, in a few minutes, just lie down here a minute with (teddy/blankie/cuddly toy of his choice) and we'll have milk in a while

personally i'd leave the bedtime one as long as poss if it gets him to sleep! at least you have a surefire way of getting him to bed
if you really, really want to stop though you could use the same distraction techniques, or take him to choose a big boy cup and give him some cow's milk in it before bed, or use a timer and say he can nurse until the beep and gradually cut it down

Thanks for those tips. The strange thing is he actually doesn't nurse to sleep (my others always did). He is good at going down awake but a bit drowsy, will then cuddle his favourite teddy, sometimes chat to it and then roll over and go to sleep (I am aware of how lucky this is) The bf just helps him relax and is part of his routine - and of all of them, he loves routine and things just so.
I think I may try the distraction techniques around bedtime to shake up the routine a bit more so he almost "forgets "about the bf, which he obviously isn't using for nutrition or as sleep aid but just for the comfort and reassurance. I feel a bit of meanie for taking this from him but it feels like the last seven years have been a blur of pregnancy,birth, bf and now, with him being almost two and probably last baby, I'm just done.

I introduced milk before he BF. I also started BF with the light on. Then would hand over to DH to settle for sleep. After a while he got used to DH doing all of bedtime while I was out.

Then we moved him to a bed, and I'd BF on a chair and he'd get up into bed. Then one day he got into bed and I didn't mention it, neither did he. Then gradually he stopped asking.

He did ask randomly after dd was born, he tried and he'd forgotten how to latch so that was the perfect time for me to tell him it didn't work.

Also don't sit in feeding positions - you might do it subtly withou realising.

Thanks CreatureRetorts. We'd been pondering a move to a bed, it might be just the distraction and change to the routine we need.