The screaming, crying, feeding is exhausting, HELP!

[PhieEl06]

Firstly I don't know whether I'm posting this in the right place so I apologise if not but hopefully someone can help!
My 3 & half week old DD is exclusively breastfed but has really bad colic which we gave Infacol it worked for a few days but the last week it's had an effect on her rear end to the point where she's struggling to poop, she strains to the point where she's screaming & writhing in pain, I've tried cycling her legs & massaging her tummy with no real effect, she is still having at least 4 dirty nappies a day but its actually making the nappy dirty that's the problem. When straining she is inconsolable, rooting for boob but has a few sucks & then pulls away again, she'll comfort suck my finger but refuses a dummy (we've tried several different brands). We stopped the infacol for a day & that evening her screaming was hell, we tried reducing it to just afternoon feeds but again that had no effect. I cut out dairy for a few days, on day 1 it made a massive difference but days 2 & 3 we're as bad as ever so I just think it was a fluke. My main point is I'm wondering if anyone could recommend a colic remedy that doesn't have an effect on LO's bowels because its either crying because of colic or crying trying to poop & I am struggling now!

Oh dear. Poor baby and poor you. DS got constipated when he started solids, so I used oil and cotton buds to clear the blockage. Are you keeping away from all the foods like oranges, peas etc (sorry I can't remember any more - it's been 5 years). I cut out milk too as DS was very colicky. I don't think the infacol made much difference tbh. But, DS has turned out to be gluten intolerant (maybe coeliac but hasn't been tested yet), and I think maybe if I had cut out gluten it would have helped. Try to stick to very bland food?

I used to give DS cooled boiled water to help getting his wind up without putting more food down there. He did get much better about the 7 week mark. (Until solids were introduced.)

Why would you keep away from oranges or peas?

OP, eliminating dairy would take 2-3 weeks to make a difference, but that's quite a drastic move with no suggestion your baby had a dairy intolerance.

I think there are probably two issues - the evening colic/fussiness and the struggling to poo.

There's some info on the evening crying here kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/ Does that sound familiar at all?

Sometimes newborns do struggle a bit with pooing - I guess their systems are still a bit immature. If you cut out the infacol and just exclusively breastfeed it should help. Sounds like you are doing the right things with tummy massages, warm baths can help. Please don't give your baby water or put anything in her bottom though.

I don't think Apile realised the baby is only 3.5 weeks!

maja's link to kellymom is great, that site kept me sane when DS was tiny.

I think you're at the worst bit. (Although there are many new 'worst bits' to come!) Babies cry, there's not a lot you can do except cuddle & feed.

Although with DS we discovered he had reflux. I suspected, asked when he was a few weeks old and got fobbed off. At 4 months I was certain and we started him on gaviscon and he changed into a lovely boy! Another one to ask about?

Remember you have an enormous hormonal response to the crying and sometimes you need to leave her with DP and take 5 minutes to yourself. Although it seems loud, it won't be affecting other people they way it does you.

Good luck, keep going, you're doing great!

OP, you may want to read this if you are looking for solutions. You can try holding your baby over a small potty to help her eliminate. Babies are born communicating their elimination needs, but we are not taught to read them. It isn't normal for any creature to poo lying down.

For what it's worth, I've been doing this with my son since he was 10 weeks old. I only wish I had started even earlier!

www.buckinghamshirepartnership.co.uk/media/1027150/Real%20Nappies%20Handbook%20with%20updates%2020130122.pdf

Hi OP, sorry if I wasn't clear earlier - I was very very tired and didn't read you properly.

The kellymom website says don't worry about what you're eating as long as your baby is just fussy - but it seems to me you are describing something more - in which case it is recommended to look at your diet.

"Most infant fussiness is normal for a young baby, and is not related to foods in mom?s diet. If your baby is sensitive to something you are eating, you will most likely notice other symptoms in addition to fussiness, such as excessive spitting up or vomiting, colic, rash or persistent congestion. Fussiness that is not accompanied by other symptoms and calms with more frequent nursing is probably not food-related."

So it clearly says if your baby is sensitive to something you are eating you will notice symptoms like colic. Now pretty much nothing I did helped with DS until gluten was cut out but I do know what it's like to have your baby in pain - something that is definitely not just 'fussiness'. I know people dismiss things because they haven't been through it. I fed DS till he nearly 4 but I did cut gluten and dairy from my diet. Any other food was fine, but didn't know that!

I don't think anyone who hasn't had a colicky baby knows how hard it is. DS never got constipated with infacol though - are her poos gone solid or still runny?