bad feeding habits

[Jess785]

I'm a bit desperate and need some help! LO is 9+ weeks and mixed bottle feeding. He's very windy and has some reflux. Gaviscon seems to be helping at least get through feeds without lots of screaming and writhing around in pain.

We have huge problems with feeding- he never seems to want to take a full bottle (120-140 mls at the moment), probably because he's in pain, and we're now in the habit of snacking- giving him a bit of a bottle whenever he cries (which is very often). Now it seems like he's feeding or demanding to be fed constantly, and most of the time when he eats he is in serious discomfort. At night he seems to sleep for a good 4 hours, and won't have a proper feed after that (struggling, crying, or falling asleep)- he ends up just snacking again, which means we're up every hour or so needing to feed him.

This is seriously starting to wear me out. Feeding my baby has become an unpleasant chore rather than the bonding experience I'd hoped for! it's bad enough that he wouldnt latch and I'm unable to breast feed, but now I find myself getting resentful and depressed.

Does someone have any advice about how to sort this out? I want to enjoy feeding my baby, as i'm going to be doing it for a long long time!

what do you mean by "mixed bottle feeding"??

i think you need to go back to the GP and ask for some more help. I'd be pushing for a paed referral personally because it's utterly unfair for a tiny baby to be in pain all the time.
you need someone to give you a definite diagnosis of reflux and to sort the medication out properly.
it's also possible that he has a cow's milk protein intolerance or allergy which could either cause the reflux, making it worse, or just be the cause of his symptoms full stop (and not reflux at all)

In terms of the feeding day to day, please try not to get too hung up on how much he takes at each feed. If you were breastfeeding you'd have no idea at all how much he was having, and I think that 120-140ml is plenty for a small baby his age.
if he is more comfy having food little and often then go with it. maybe buy some of the carton milk so you don't have to keep making up tiny amounts of powdered formula??

thanks for that, thisisyesterday - i need the reassurance! By mixed bottle feeding, i mean that he is having both expressed breast milk and formula. I've been to the GP twice already and he keeps saying that the wind and pain will improve in time and that he didn't want to label such small babies as having 'reflux' or 'intolerances' when they grow out of it so quickly. i am thinking i will give it another week and see if anything improves- if not i will push for medication or a referral. i was hoping it wouldn't come to that, though!!

Has anyone who knows what they are doing checked for tongue tie? There is a thread on here with loads of people who had multiple HCPs say no tie, only to find out later that there was.

Have a look at the list of symptoms here. Does any of it sounds familiar?

Yes, he had tongue tie and it was snipped- he still wouldn't latch! even though he is 9 weeks we still try from time to time to BF but no joy.

Snacking is normal for a young baby - but the pain isn't.

Sorry, pressed post too soon :)

I agree he needs to be checked out but not just for allergies/reflux etc (your GP's view is a sensible one - too often these physical labels are put on babies and feeding 'management' is what helps instead.)

What would happen if you accepted he cannot take 120-140 mls at a time, and needs little and often, not just when he cries, but as a response to much earlier feeding cues (just as you would with a bf baby)? Would a more relaxed going-with-flow approach help everyone?

It's concerning you talk about 'bad habits' so at one level I think you are recognising this as possibly behavioural (though there is nothing 'bad' about wanting little and often :) ).

Thanks tiktok. i have been thinking about the 'little and often' thing which i don't mind during the day, but at night it drives me a bit nuts. last night we struggled but persevered to feed him 100 mls in the night and he slept for much longer. I guess i mention bad habits because i keep reading that babies form habits around this age (10ish weeks) and once they are 3 months it is hard to change things. i need to stop reading books!!

Jess - you have to decide if the struggle you describe is harder/less hard than going with the flow :)

It's utter rubbish to say that babies 'form habits at 10 weeks' and they are fixed by the age of 3 mths - whatever book says that is not using the evidence. Ridiculous, honestly :)

Ask to join the tongue tie babies support group on facebook. There is a lot of knowledge and experience on there.

You first need to establish if there is still a restriction in the tongue and/or lip. Ties can reform, or sometimes the revision is not complete.

What type of tie was snipped? It sometimes can be that an anterior tie has been revised, but a posterior tie still remains.

really sympathise with the frequent night feeding.

my second child was a snacker and fed every 45-90 minutes day and night until he was 9 months old!!!

at that point we used the no-cry sleep solution to help us get a bit more sleep, we didn't get rid of night feeds completely, but cut them down by about 50%... i wouldn't recommend it on a little baby mind you. when they're little they need food and comfort when they need it. it WILL pass though, i promise you.

Hi my 11 week old is the same with the feeding situation, shell only have around 2 or 3 oz every feed, she doesn't have reflux though, can I ask what bottles your using and which teats. Very occasionly she'll have 150mls! I think the boxes put pressure on us coz at my los age they say 5 150ml in 24 hours so that's one every 4 whereas she feeds every hour and a half or 2 hrs!