Does a 9mo 'need' bf at night?

[FeelingStoopid]

My DS (my 2nd) is so much more of a challenge at night that's my DD ever was, and I feel so unsure about what to do, I feel so unprepared for this!!

DS was sleeping really well. Started self-settling, doesn't have a feed to sleep association - would (and still will to a certain extent) nap and settle to sleep at night with a dummy, rather than feed to sleep - and even did a good stint at night from the early days, even sleeping through for about a wk at 10wks, then again at 19wks.

However, since the beginning of July, we're getting at least one wake up a night, and mostly he will only go back to sleep with a feed. His naps have started to be disrupted too, although he will mostly still sleep twice a day.

I just don't know what to do. I've always been a feed on demand, no schedule type Mum & it worked brilliantly with my DD, and my DS until recently. I think my DD was just a more predictable "self-scheduling" type baby, and I was spoilt because she didn't need a night feed after 19wo!!

Any ideas and/or experiences?

I wasn't sure whether to put this in sleep or here, because, whilst it is a 'sleep' issue - it's also a feeding issue!! I tried for over an hour last night to settle him without a feed last night, but at 4am I just wanted to sleep!! I know if I'm going to night wean, I would need to perservere, but equally, it feels 'unnatural' to me to try to force something, when DD didn't need it. I know every baby is different, and I can accept that, it's just this feels like I have to change 'me' to cope iyswim...

If she wouldn't go to sleep for an hour and then did with a feed, that suggests that yes, she does need a feed at night. Possibly with weaning you have dropped feeds in the day?

Try getting more milk into her during the day to fill her up, or introduce a dream feed?

Sorry, he not she!

My DS still needed a night feed until he was about one.

Depends what you mean by "need" - at 9 months he is probably big enough to eat and feed enough during the day not to need a feed for hunger during the night. But night waking at this age is as likely to be a sleep issue as a food issue.

Is he breastfed? I would say it is unlikely for him to accept you trying to settle him without a feed in the night as he knows the boob is right there - you might have more luck sending his dad in with dummy/water/cuddles.

Dunno about need but for sleep's sake I still fed at night if necessary up til about 1. It was so mich easier and we both got back to sleep quickly. She's slept through since about 13 mo, and is a champion sleeper at 18 months.

I say do what gets you the most sleep til at least 1.

Thank you.

Yes, he is entirely breastfed, esp as now he is also a bottle refuser.

I did try the extra feeds in the day (he has one are his morning nap, one after his afternoon nap and one at bedtime, plus the night one) and eats LOADS of food, but he sometimes just refuses to feed, or bites me.

I think it helps to know other people had the same situation and didn't "do" anything at this age - that I'm not doing it wrong, that he will somehow learn to do it in time.

I'm going to try a gentle routine - def working within his own patterns, but I have my 3yo starting nursery in September, so I need to have a bit more structure in place, otherwise we will all be tired and cranky!! And if that can help him remember how to self-settle etc, then maybe it might help at night so that he won't wake up for a feed to get him back to sleep iyswim.

I'm also returning to work in a couple of months, so hopefully the whole developmental leap/crawling/cruising/separation anxiety bit will have passed and he will just grow out of it by then, but perhaps that's when I might need to act if things haven't changed.

Your baby is growing physically and mentally at an incredible rate. Your baby is also in one if the big mental leaps at 9 months when they begin to feel separation anxiety. It's ok to feed overnight. Your baby isn't doing anything wrong, you aren't creating bad habits. If you can safely co-sleep, it is a good way to manage the night wakings.

Thank you. I hate that "rod for your own back" type mentality, but I was feeling a bit like this was my 'doing' somehow, despite all knowledge to the contrary...

Last night we had a bit of a breakthrough - he really doesn't like the sleeping bag tangled around his legs, so he just had a babygro on last night and although he woke up, he didn't cry so much, or get frantic when left to settle again. I hope it is the start of a new trend!!