Arguing with DH over DS feeding pattern

[Sunflower1985]

Our DS is two weeks now. We are bf with formula top-ups as I work on upping my supply.
At night he's waking every two hours or so, giving hunger cues so I feed him off the breast(s) and then DH gives him a little formula.

Problem is DH is accusing me of feeding too freqently, saying he should feed every 4 hours, not 2. That we're over feeding him. Plus I think he's rushing the bottle feeds in order to get back to sleep quicker, and then DS ends up throwing up the formula.

DH is about to go back to work so he's only going to get more tired, but I feel I need more support that isn't forthcoming.

Should I cut him out and do all the feeding myself, or is there a way of getting the point across??
Am I being unreasonable??

YANBU has he had his mum in his ear by any chance? Strict 4 hourly feeding is a v old fashioned idea and not the way to go if you want to bf.
The best way to up your supply is to feed as much as possible, the more lo feeds, even if it seems like there's nothing there, the more you produce.
Try and ditch as much formula as possible and bf as much as you can.

Why are you giving formula top ups? Your supply will be upped better if you BF more.

4 hour feeds and breastfeeding a 2 week old are just not compatible.

At all.

If you are trying to increase your supply the very, very last thing you should be doing is trying to space out feeds.

Never mind to 4 hours apart, which is a very, very long time for such a new baby to go between feeds.

Do you really need to be topping up with formula?

Stick this under his nose. La Leche advise the World Health Org on breastfeeding and are acknowledged as experts.

Babies are mystifying and each one is different so this is a stressful time for you both but accusing the other of xyz is not going to help. Try and talk to him about working as a team and supporting each other.

He's talking bollocks, two hourly feeds are normal and even desirable to up your supply. Ditch the formula, it's harming your supply rather than anything, and listen to your baby not your DH.

My DD is 6 months and still wouldn't cope with 4 hourly feeds in the day, although she can do that and more at night.

Btw, at 3 weeks there's a massive growth spurt and baby may need feeding more often than two hourly for a few days.

Thank you. I think he heard somewhere that 6 times a day feeding was the 'average' and that's stuck in his head. Even nhs recommends on demand, so I know I'm doing the right thing. I want to ebf, and will go along to the local baby cafe tomorrow and talk about it. I need the reassurance if his next weigh in to see how he's doing (hopefully meeting the hv next week).

Baby steps.

He's being daft.

I've never even breastfed and even I know that you have to feed on demand to increase supply.

Also it's not just breastfed babies that can need feeding every two hours.. both of mine were formula fed and demanded feeding every 2 hours day and night at that stage! So don't let him be thinking that if you switched to formula your baby would go the magic 4 hours....! Mine didn't!

Just wanted to echo the others in that formula top-ups will not help you build your supply - baby needs to feed only from you for you to get bf established. The first couple of months can be very tough (cluster feeds, painful, long long feeding sessions), but most mums find that things settle down after about 8 weeks.

I know 8 weeks seems like an age away, but honestly in the grand scheme of things it will pass.

In the meantime, get as much bf support as possible, lots of skin-to-skin, put baby to boob whenever he needs a feed (starts rooting).

Good luck!

No, babies that age need 8-12 feeds a day, so every 2-3 hours. 6 feeds average is probably much older babies.

If he is happy and not wailing with hunger then be reassured you are doing fine

Breasts feeding is all about supply and demand though so you need to feed lots to produce lots.

DS is called Moo as I think he spent the first 3 months attached to my chest, I would have been happy with every couple of hours n

He is being daft in expecting all babies to feed four hourly. DD did three hourly but she was ffd so I didnt need to worry about supply.

However, are you expecting him to wake every two hours when he is back at work to do the formula top up? This seems quite unfair - he needs to work!

8-12 feeds a day at that age I'm afraid!

Feed. On. Demand.

If you want to up your supply you need to put your baby to your breast as much as possible. You need to feed on demand not a strict and stupid regime. Tell your husband to back off and stop interfering with things he has no idea about. Newborn babies should feed AT LEAST every four hours not every four hours