Breastfeeding a disaster, don't know where to turn

[IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat]

Hello, I have a beautiful week old baby boy, and am determined to keep breastfeeding but feel like everything is going wrong. He has lost 9% of his birthweight and is due to be weighed again tomorrow but I know he has lost more and I feel so helpless and bad for him. I have a feeding plan to feed at least every 3 hours for 30-40 minutes then offer the other side, and give him the breast in between if he wants it. The trouble is he just falls asleep, even if stripped down/tickled etc.

He fed for about 55 minutes about an hour and a half after birth (had skin to skin right after birth but then baby went to my partner while my stitches were done and a catheter inserted). It seemed fine, but on the ward I had trouble latching him on and with him staying on. One of my nipples is slightly tethered and I was given a shield but the Midwives and Healthcares were all pretty negative about it and wanted me to stop using it as soon as I could.

I stayed in hospital for 2 nights and struggled with cracked, bleeding nipples - my baby seems to open his mouth wide then draw back and take only the end of the nipple. I know it was stupid but I was so desperate to feed him I just put up with the pain as if I took him off and tried again he eventually became so frustrated he just screamed and refused the breast.

I know I am producing some milk because it is collecting in the shells I have been using for painful nipples. I also have a breast pump as the Midwife recommended getting one to try to empty the side I have not been feeding from as much. I have pumped for a while today and only got a tiny amount (a couple of mls) which is really worrying.

I have good support from the Midwife and am going to phone the peer supporter today but just wanted some reassurance really. Sorry for the epic post but I feel like I am falling to pieces. I have had no sleep for the past few nights.

Why does she think he's getting too much sugary foremilk? How many bf counsellors do you have access too? Worth getting a second opinion.

What is she basing the "too much foremilk" idea on? The idea that hindmilk only comes at the end of a feed is quite old school I think. I paid a lot of money for a lactation consultant to come to the house and she went on and on about too much foremilk. I then spoke to my HV free of charge who said that thinking was out of date and frequent feeding would ensure that babies got both foremilk and hindmilk throughout the feed. It turned out the real problem for me was reflux, a resulting feeding aversion, and then low supply because of the lack of feeds.

Trenchcoat definitely PM tiktok, that's a lovely offer from someone very knowledgeable.

Hello, We had a much better night last night where baby seemed much more happy and settled. He fed roughly every 2 to 2.5 hours until he naturally came off himself, and slept in between which was an improvement.

I think the too much foremilk came from the idea he was unsettled and a bit windy and didn't really seem satisfied after feeds. I have no idea what is right, I am seeing a peer supporter today but the feeding co-ordinator is on holiday at the moment.

Everybody is telling me different things and it is so confusing. I will PM you now tiktok, thank you very much.

Glad he was more settled last night. Do PM tiktok, she is lovely and very knowledgeable.

Hmm I'm wondering about posterior tongue tie.

I am worried about the tongue tie issue as well, especially because I have no idea where I could get it diagnosed if the councillor/midwives etc. say no and it wasn't mentioned when he was checked by the paediatrician . There will be no specialists where I live, so I really hope that's not the problem.

I just looked on this site and he does fit a lot of th signs, I suppose they could have other causes as well. I have tried and tried to get a deep latch but he always draws back. I have noticed sometimes during a feed his bottom lip does open a bit wider, but neve at first.milkmatters.org.uk/2011/04/15/hidden-cause-of-feeding-problems-however-you-feed-your-baby/

It's awful when everyone gives you conflicting advice! I hope Tiktok can help clear things up.

But it sounds like things are improving somewhat anyway. Fingers crossed your DS is starting to get the hang of it!

Hang in there, hope you're not too utterly exhausted.

Trenchcoat I have your PM and I have responded :)

I don't actually think what the bfc said was unhelpful, but from the info here, I don't think your baby has been getting too much sugary foremilk, 'cos that is not how it works except in cases of serious over-supply. So she has prob. got that bit wrong....but the suggestion to stop the feeding plan of ensuring a 30-40 min feed each time makes a lot of sense, and to respond to the baby rather than trying to keep him awake by tickling etc.

Feeding with a 'mini-block' of 1.5 hours is not like 'real' block feeding which is usually anything from 3 to 6 hours (which reduces supply), and if you think it has helped, then of course you should carry on....while ensuring your baby's weight is in the right direction, too:)

Has anybody mentioned the tongue tie babies support group on facebook? There are a few UK mothers on there who can share their experiences. You can also post photos for opinions, but of course nobody can fully diagnose over the internet.

I will check out the facebook page, thank you.

I have just had a visit from a breastfeeding peer supporter and we managed to get him latched on well in the rugby ball hold without the shield. He seemed to be able to get a good mouthful of breast that way.

The milk matters website is a fantastic source of info re tongue tie. There's a contact number on the page that is well worth you calling to discuss your concerns with them & they can point you in the right direction of who to go to in real life to have your lo properly checked by someone who really knows what they are looking for. I wish I'd known about them with ds1 but I called with ds2, discussed it all with them (what I could see,this that were happening like reflux, unsettled feeds,unsettled between feeds) & they put me in touch with a brilliant lactation consultant who has loads of experience with tongue tie & ds2's was diagnosed & snipped within 24hrs of calling the consultant.
Well done Fir persevering, it can be bloody hard to start with but with the right help it doesn't have to stay that way. Jelonet is good for sore, cracked nipples too so maybe give that a try to help yourself heal, drink plenty, get your oh to spoil you a bit & have lots of skin to skin snuggles in bed with your baby.

You poor thing!

Don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet....the amount you get from a breast pump is not an indicator of how much you are actually produicing, so don't worry if you can only make a couple or mls.

Ignore the hind milk thing, ignore the clock. Feed him on the left side until he falls off, offer it again and if its no go then switch over to the right side until he falls off there too, keep switching. I had a very sleepy baby too, so I understand your frustration at trying to keep him awake.