Got myself into a pickle with feeding and sleeping

[LittleRedDinosaur]

DD is 10 months old. She was EBF and is now eating...... OK.... Not a huge amount but more than a few mouthfuls at each meal. She breast feeds in bed with me in the morning, at about 11, at about 2 and then at bed time.

I am going back to work soon and we want to try for another baby but I haven't had a period since DD was born so I want to stop breast feeding (even though the thought makes me feel sad!).
The problem is that I currently feed her to sleep for naps and at night.

I tried a bottle yesterday for one of her day time naps. She took about 100ml and then I think was full. She stopped feeding and then looked like she was getting sleepy but then started to scrabble for my breast and started crying when she realised it wasn't happening. She got very upset- properly sobbing. It was horrible

I need help with how to lose this association between breast feeding and sleep and to stop breast feeding. Is there anyone out there who has got themselves out of this situation. Preferably with as little crying as possible for I am a wimpy mum! I'm by myself with a husband in the army and no handy family so I can't leave her with anyone else to give bottles.

Thanks you for reading/ helping

My LO just turned 1 and over last few days falls asleep by her self in her cot for naps and at bed time. She previously fell asleep feeding.

It has taken a couple of months to break the association, she spent a while falling asleep on my shoulder, then pick up put down, then just putting her back down when standing up.

She never took a bottle and has reduced her number of feeds to morning and evening only.

Watching with interest - DS is 10 months, exactly the same. Going to an overseas wedding in November,my parents will be looking after him so need to also break the association with BF and sleep

The no cry sleep solution describes a technique known as the Pantley pull off which worked for us. You delatch just as she is dropping off to sleep, and gradually do it earlier in the feed. If she cries, latch her on again for a few minutes and try again.

McBaby- good to know! She hates bottles and will only take a few sips of milk from a cup. I'd be happy to continue with the morning and evening feed for longer, I think, but really want to knock off the other 2 feeds completely. I think I'm going to see if we can do without her afternoon feed today as she should be full ish from lunch and she's usually pretty tired then. Nice to know that I don't have to fight the bottle fight!

MakeTea- I think I'm going to keep this thread updated with what I'm trying etc if only to encourage me to keep trying, let me know how you're getting on! Will certainly update if I find any miracle solutions

JellyMould- off to order the no cry sleep solution, thanks!

I'm going to try to miss out the afternoon feed today I think (although not got today off to a great start with an enormous vomit at 5am all over me, DH and our bed resulting in a family shower and a bedding wash and she is currently refusing to let me spoon her weetabix into her mouth preferring to pick it up herself and rub it into her hair).

Ok, update.

Thought I'd just go for it. DD offered formula after a walk this morning- didn't want it but was pulling at my top and sucking my shoulder. After the vomcano this morning I thought she was probably quite hungry so breast fed but downstairs where it is busy. Then left it 15 mins and went upstairs for nap.

Put her in the cot and she rolled around and chatted for a bit and then got bored and upset so I got her out and cuddled and walked round the room with her. I think then she worked out she had to sleep and wasn't going to get fed and she SCREAMED. Very angry. Arching back and thumping me. Horrid. BUT only lasted 5-10 minutes and now she is fast asleep in her cot.

I think the plan is to dissociate sleep from boob and then work on dropping the boob. It was just a bit much to get my head around dropping the breast when it is such a vital part of going to sleep.

I'm going to do this for day time naps I initially and then work put how to change the night routine.

Will keep updating just in case anyone is interested (& it's also quite helpful to keep me on track)

I am also watching this thread with interest. I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old but am starting to feel like it's time to stop, only I am facing the same problem as you, particularly at night. I feed him to sleep and he is still waking several times a night to feed. He eats well during the day so I know it's just a comfort thing but I have no idea, without it being traumatic for both of us, how to stop. When he is at the childminder he obviously falls asleep without being fed but at home it's a different story. He has never taken a bottle (despite early attempts) and won't drink cows milk either, even from a cup or beaker. Part of me wonders whether it would just be easier to let him self-wean but we are due to be out one evening in October from mid afternoon to pretty late and I am concerned how on earth someone else will be able to put him to bed. I think I am going to try feeding him until he is almost asleep and see how that goes. Look forward to hearing how everyone else gets on

Well I managed afternoon nap without feeding to sleep- less than 5 minutes of horrible screaming and then she slept for over an hour (VERY good for DD). I just walked round her room with her in my arms and put her down once she was sleepy but not asleep.
Not going to tackle the bedtime routine just yet.

I managed to stop night feeds over the last few weeks by choosing when I was going to breast feed and then just cuddling and walking around the room until she went to sleep in between feeds. We were feeding 5+ times per night and now we manage to go until "morning" (5am in DD world). Quite a bit of angry crying for 3 nights and then not great nights for the first week but now loads better and I could kind of tolerate the crying when it's angry rather than being sad or distressed. Any hint of being sad rather than angry and I would have fed her but I think it was almost all habit that was causing her to wake.

Good luck everyone!